I finally dragged myself to Sunday School today! I'm so glad I did. It was pretty cool, and there are some people in there I would love to be friends with. I have to say that overall the class time is not fun. People seem really wary of commenting on the lessons, and there are only a small few who do. I feel like they are not really getting into it and wanting to learn what is being taught. It kinda felt like when I'm teaching a lesson and no one cares (which is more often than I care to admit!). I kept thinking to myself what I would do differently if I had to teach the lesson in order to get more participation. Who knows, if I keep going I may just find out! There was a girl in there who's due in May who looks like I did at about 3 months! I was a little jealous. Also, there is a girl who's due in April with twins. I am almost as big as her! Why, why am I so huge! Oh well, I'm not worried, b/c if my baby girl needs plenty of room to move and grow, then so be it. She will still come out the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth (aside from TJ, and all the babies that you guys have that you think the same about!)!

So I got to watch Blake and Julia last night. It was fun. They read me books. Blake is right on the verge of getting it. He knows a lot of sight words, but doesn't sound them out, I don't think. I kept asking him what different sounds were, and he just kinda looked at me. Wes and Gina are going to flip soon, though, b/c he will be picking up any book and just flying through it in no time! Julia had a book memorized that Blake read to me, and it was so fun to watch her read it! She didn't even look at the words! I can't wait till TJ starts memorizing books. It thrilled me today when we were at the store. He was singing something really quietly, and I had to listen hard. He was saying, "I am not your broom. I am not your broom." This makes no sense to you, but it's the name of a song, and most of the words to it, that is on his They Might be Giants cd that we listen to all the time in the car. I kept wondering if he really liked any of that music and would learn any of the words, or if it was just me that liked it, and he was tolerating it. Then, on the way home he cheered after each song ended. Oh yaaaa! It's not like he hasn't memorized more songs than I can imagine, but it just seemed really cool that he got a song from the radio!

I think I lost my original train of thought there, but anyway, I had fun last night, and I'm glad Wes and Gina got to go out. They said they'd be back by 1, and what they meant by that was 9:45! Oh, to be parents of small children! I picked on them b/c I just knew they thought of their kids part of the time. Gina said they were on the way home, and she was like, "Let's stop and get them some donuts to surprise them in the morning!" I have to say, I love being able to do that! I get more joy out of seeing TJ happy and talking about him than any other thing in my life. Of course, most of the rest of my life is filled with a miserable job, but....I love Trey, and love spending time with him, and I love my friends and time with them as well. All of that is fun. However, I don't know what it is or why, but most of the time I can't even control myself from talking about TJ non-stop. I always wonder if people get tired of hearing about him, but then I don't really care. I even love hearing about other people's kids. It's exciting to hear and talk about all the wonderful things they do and accomplish! Plus, kids are just so darn funny and entertaining! Every time I see Trey, one of us has to tell the other something funny TJ did. I even got excited about a little 2 year old sitting next to me in church today. I'm sure her mom wondered why I kept looking at her kid and getting a big goofy smile on my face, but oh well. She was so cute, and doing the exact same things I would expect TJ to do in church!

Well, that post really went nowhere, but that's what's on my mind right now. I hope you are having a terrific day, and that tomorrow is equally as great. I am going now, and I'll see you soon!

I may be temporarily out of the blogging business, except for a brief stop-in. I am in love with my new DVR! Right now I am taping a movie, have one on pause, and have about three set to tape tomorrow! Also, since TJ always wants to watch "Cahtooooonnnns" at wierd times that they are not on, I decided to tape all of his favorites tomorrow, and then we can just watch them as we please. How brilliant this device is! I may never leave the television again! This is why I may just have to return it next week!

Just for a wrap-up, the new word of the week, every week, at school is RIOT. Why, you ask, would we even dream of teaching the boys about such a terrible word? Well, I say, b/c that word got us out of teaching today! We were originally set to watch a movie for black history month, called Lilies of the Valley (which, from what I saw, had nothing to do with black history), during first and second periods. Okay, fair enough. A couple of hours of freedom. Then, during third period, they told the boys not to move to their next class, and we kept our first period boys until lunch, while we watched October Sky. Definitely not black history, although a pretty good movie. I joked with the librarian, and emailed her and asked her what was on for after lunch. I figured for sure they would make us go to at least a couple of classes today. She said, "Keep your television on." "Hmmm, something is up," I thought. So I go home for lunch, as usual, and on my way back to school, I notice that there are no boys anywhere. Usually they are congregated outside the door in lines waiting to get in. Some are walking down the road to the school, coming back from their dorms. However, it was like a ghost town. By then I pretty much knew what was up, but still I had to see. Sure enough, when I got into school, I was told that there would be no classes this afternoon. HOORAY! I really didn't even need the time off, and I had a pretty cool lesson planned, but I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth! When I asked why, I was told that there was information that there was going to be a big riot b/t the Charleston boys (I would have rooted for them, even though I loathe the idea of rioting!) and the Columbia boys. Hmmmm....In my time, over a year now, I have never once seen a riot happen at our school. It may very well be b/c whenever they hear about them, we don't have classes, or they hold them in classes. Or, it may be that they were really never going to happen. Either way, I'm happy. So, it was decided that we must somehow subliminally get the boys into the mindset to start talking about riots near the end of each week, and see if we can't get out of some more work! Ms. Boyd and I agreed that if we plant in the minds of the Greenville, Spartanburg and Orangeburg boys that they didn't get their just dues, and we worried too much about Chas. and Cola., then perhaps they will start something. Yes, that will work....I only wish it really would, and that I would have the guts to do it. I will ask about it on Monday, since the boys know the most about this kind of stuff (they always know what's up before we do). Maybe then I will just slip in here and there how it wouldn't hurt to just talk about some as they walk past security and the principal every now and then!

Alrighty then, I must go catch my tv before the pause comes off! I hope you have a wonderful day! I, myself, am going shopping for baby clothes tomorrow! See you soon!

Guess what! We got DVR for our tv today! Did we need it? Hell yes! We had to go to a new member dinner at church tonight, and it started at 7. Well, who knows how long a new member dinner may last, and as we all know, I'm sure, at 8 o'clock my butt better be firmly planted in front of my television. This is the only night that matters. However, I couldn't just not go to the dinner, or dip out early. So, we did what any good church going person would do, and got DVR! How exciting!

We successfully taped The OC. I am so glad we did! What an exciting episode, although not what I was expecting! The previews made it out to be a lot worse than it was. Sandy was transporting Rebecca, the whore of an ex-girlfriend who is a fugitive, and in the process of ruining his marriage. Of course the previews only let us see her coming on to him, but not his response. I will admit, it won Sandy a couple of points when he turned her down. However, to me, that's just not enough. Trey would never have made it that far if I had been Kirsten. She must really love him, but I hope she makes him pay. I mean, the man left her on VALENTINE'S DAY to go see his ex!!! She very clearly told him, and her, that she wanted the case, their relationship, everything to stop, and he went on anyway. Kirsten, you are a better woman than me. So anyway, then there was Lindsay and Ryan. I have to admit, Ryan's life is pretty boring anymore, now that Marisa's not giving him the total drama every week. I don't care that Lindsay's leaving, b/c she sucked! Now maybe Ryan will get a cool girlfriend! Marisa and Alex, they won't last long. Not after Marisa has to find money to pay the rent! The big news...Summer and Seth are back together! HOORAY! In the most cheesy ending possible (which would only make sense if you have seen the movie Spiderman), they got back together. Good. Maybe Zach will go away now. He and Lindsay could have hooked up, they both sucked. Oh man! I do love my show! It felt a little wierd watching it tonight at ten instead of eight, but it was still equally as great! Trey's mad b/c we can't get the DVR to tape next week's for us now, and let us watch it now!

So I rolled over last night in bed, and pulled a muscle in my groin. Like, how does that happen? I was actually rolling toward the baby, or whatever, so it seems kinda weird. I had to call in this morning for half the day b/c it hurt so bad, and kept me awake. When it happened, I woke up and started moaning in pain, then I cried a little bit. Trey was like, "Are you alright?" I said yes, and he said he went right back to sleep. We were talking about it this morning, and he said that he was all ready to get up and take me to the hospital. I said, "Why would we need to go to the hospital for a pulled muscle?" He thought I was having the baby! Ha ha! The thought had never crossed my mind. I guess it is getting nearer to that time to start worrying. I remember with TJ, and when I had to put a shower curtain under my sheets just in case. Every night for that last month was pins and needles. I said I wasn't feeling right one day at work, about a month early, and w/i minutes, the whole school thought I was having the baby right there in my office in my classroom! I still have a little over three months left, but I guess we do have to start getting in that mode, eh?

Oh, as far as the new member dinner went, it was lots of fun. I met a few really cool people, and we had great food. I am looking forward to trying to get to know more people, and I have to start making myself go to Sunday School somehow. It's not that I can't get myself to wake up, I just can't get myself to start getting ready in time! What a slacker I am. They also gave us a pansy to take home. Did you know you could eat them? Pastor Jones just kept telling me to put the flowers in a salad. That seems a little creepy to me! Let me know if you've ever eaten flowers before.

Alrighty then, I hope you have a bootylicious day (I dunno, it just sounds fun right now!), and I'll see you soon!

Someone please tell me that it's Friday already. This has been a long week, and it's barely begun! Oh well.

Today actually went pretty well. We cooked in class, and it worked out as planned. I had to tell some of my kids that they couldn't cook or eat, since they hadn't earned it. Some took it well, and did their work. Most did not. I had to put up with a lot of upset students. I feel bad, too, b/c I gave in on a few of them and let them eat by making deals with them. I don't think that was good sticking to my guns, but I am just a big ol' woos! However, in the process, I realized that assuming that my kids know to behave in order to receive rewards is just too much to ask of them (very sad, isn't it?). So, I have decided that everyday as they enter class I will remind them that they can earn their points (They can get 10, 5, or 0--5 and 0 are not good) by behaving. That way, they know I'm watching. Perhaps that will help, and maybe they will behave more. I mean, they aren't usually bad or anything, but we have our days, and some are just plain jerks most of the time. One yesterday wouldn't sit down or shut up the entire class, and when I told him he couldn't eat today, said, "But I was really good yesterday!" Sometimes I wonder if we live in different worlds....

Anyway, you should try making apple fritters sometime. They are so good! It's kinda like the elephant ears at the fair, with apples fried into them. That's what we made today (quite messy for high school boys), and not only did they smell wonderful, they tasted delicious! Even JCO's were asking me for the recipe, just based on smell alone. All the boys were like, "Can I get that recipe?" One of my "toughest" boys said he was going to be the boy on the block that they call on to make the apples. He really enjoyed himself. Hopefully that will motivate him to do his best in my class, so he can participate again! The best part was that it was cheap, and really easy to make.

I watched the girls on American Idol tonight. I know I really liked the little blonde country girl, but some of the other ones the judges liked, I couldn't stand. I missed the guys last night, but I doubt I missed much. I am waiting for them to narrow it down to the top 12, and then I'll start to get into it. Anyone else watch the show, or as addicted as I am? I actually only voted for Diana DiGarmo (yes, that's right, I couldn't stand Fantasia--her voice made my skin crawl) about 30 times or so. So I guess I'm not quite as fanatic, but...Do you guys get that show in Canada?

Well, I guess that's my day in a nutshell, and anything I missed, you're probably better off not knowing. I hope you have a scrumptious day, and I'll see you soon!

I just want to tell you something real quick! Trey and I were arguing about the name I picked for the baby, Taryn Reese. He says it's a porn name, I say no way. He said, "Fine, Google search it and see what comes up." So I did. No porn that I could find. However, my blog did come up! How awesome! I came up in a Google search! Yes, I realize that it's no big deal, but to me that's UBER-COOL! Anyway, please read my actual post for today under this.

So today was a long day...as usual. I thought I would come home relatively early and get to just chill by myself for a while. No such luck! Oh well. It's now 9:37, and I just got home about 5 minutes ago.

So I was thinking last night, as I watched The Simpsons, what a great show that is. For one, there is no real plot, ever, and really no lesson to be learned, if you are truly enjoying it for what it's worth. Just mindless entertainment. However, it's smart funny, and you don't feel like an idiot afterwards for having watched it. What I love the most is that the first ten minutes of the show usually have pretty much nothing to do with the rest of it. Like, take for instance, last night's episode. Marge got her kitchen remodeled b/c she liked the one she saw next door at their open house. Okay, fair enough. You would think then that the kitchen would burn down, win her awards, or something. Nope. She did cook something in her kitchen, and then enter a cooking contest. After that, you don't see or hear about the kitchen anymore. So, like, why did they even mention the kitchen? Why? Because it's The Simpsons, and they rock like that! If there is someone out there who disagrees with me, and can honestly say that they don't like the Simpsons, I would be interested to hear from you. I can't see how, but I guess everyone's different.

So we went to this birthday party on Saturday, right. This woman at work has a grandson that just turned two, and she has been dying for me to meet her daughter-in-law. She told me to come to the party, and finally I just broke down and said yes. I figured I would finally meet her and make her happy, and who knows, I might even make a friend. So I go to this party full of people I don't know, and we have a decent time. TJ seemed to really enjoy himself, but I think that was mainly b/c he found a toy he really liked that belonged to the little boy with the birthday. He enjoyed, also, arguing with a tennish year old boy about Elmo. The boy kept saying that when you mix an elephant and Elmo, you get an Elemo (get it?). TJ would say, "NO! It's ELMO!" My kid has become quite bossy...Anyway, back to the story. So I'm at this party, and everyone's being quite nice to me, especially considering they have no idea who I am. I would have thought my fellow co-worker would have kinda stuck with me more, but no...I had a pretty good time. I even got to talk to the old grandma who sat on the couch the whole time, and went on and on and on and on, etc. about I have no idea what. Great stuff! One girl offered to give me all of her daughter's old baby clothes. Cool. It was nice. However, when I left, after telling the daughter-in-law that we should get together sometime, I knew that I will never see her or talk to her again. I felt fine with this, but I feel kinda bad, too. I know that I don't want to hang out with her, b/c, well, and this sounds really bad, but she is not smart enough. As I was talking to her, and her friends, it was fun to talk about our kids. Fair enough. That is something that someone with kids can do easily with others, especially kids the same age. However, I could tell by what I would overhear, and some of the stuff that she said to me, that we are on way different levels. Her lifestyle is completely different from mine. I feel like if we were to hang out, after talk of the kids was over with, I would not be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with her. Does this sound bad? I mean, I know it's being a bit judgemental on my part. I don't mean to say that I didn't like her, or that she is necessarily beneath me. I just know that I could not be comfortable around her, or have fun with her, b/c her level of intellect is much different from mine. For instance, I looked in her kid's room, and saw his books he had. He had entire sets of fun little books (and I gave him books for his present), and not a one was even touched. I picked on up, and it creaked when I opened it. It appalled me to think that she doesn't read to her kid. No doubt she has talents that I could never dream of, but I think we are on different levels. So, do you think that I was being too judgemental, or that this is justifiable? I would hate to think I have given up a chance to make a new friend b/c I am being egotistical or too high on my horse. I have been trying desperately to stop judging other people so much.

Anyway, I must go now. I'll try to see what you guys have written today, and then I'll hit the sack. Ta-ta for now! Have a smashing day, and I'll see you soon!

Hey, I forgot to tell you yesterday, I was in an earthquake. During second period the floor in my classroom shook, and I looked up right as a student in my class gave me a horrified look of confusion. He said he felt the table shake. I also heard the tv hanging from the ceiling creak from shaking. Not too many people noticed it. It was a 3.1 on the Richter scale. Cool, eh?

Daemon had something in his post about what he found in Katt's blog, so I hunted it down, and this is what I found:

My Bloginality is ENFP!!!

I read a description of this personality, and it's SO TRUE! Not only did it describe me to a tee, but it also made me feel better. I know for a fact that I have great ideas, I just rarely follow through on them. Now I know it's partially b/c of my personality type! Now if I can only convince my boss and fellow co-workers of this! Check this out:


General: ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.

Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature E NFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.

ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.

ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.

ENFPs sometimes can be blindsided by their secondary Feeling function. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.


So if you're still with me....See, if I quit my job one day by surprise, it's not my fault, it's just my personality type!

Okay, you guys have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

Tonight Trey and I celebrated Valentine's Day. I thought it funny when he said to me that when he saw the original post that said "It's VD!" he was a little worried. I thought it would be funny, but it never occurred to me that it might worry Trey. Ha ha ha! Maybe it convinced him, if ever so briefly, that he should start listening more to what I tell him (like, "I have a funny itch b/t my legs, and I think I'm going to the doctor."). Of course, that would be asking a lot to expect him to listen to what I say! I mean, I am his wife and all! (You know I didn't really go to the doctor, right. There is no itch...)

So anyway, we went out for Valentine's Day tonight. TJ went to church with Aunt Gina and Uncle Wesley and kids, and had a BLAST! Gina said he ate more than I've seen him eat in about three months, all meals combined! So that was nice. We went out to Carabba's. We really couldn't decide where to go. I wanted to try something different, but not too far from home, and we have been there once and liked the food. So, Carabba's it was. After we waited for what seemed like forever, Trey got lasagna and I got eggplant parmesan. Good food. The best part, though, was the good company. We had a great time talking, and we were totally civil the whole time. I said we would try not to talk about TJ, but, alas, to no avail. Trey told me a story about him that almost made me cry (I'll tell it later on here). I got a little teary-eyed! It was nice, though, just to go out alone, and not worry about him being alright. What's funny is that there was a crying baby there while we were waiting, and it was SO annoying! I'm so glad TJ never cries like that!

Afterwards we went to get ice cream at the Marble Slab Company. I would never pay to eat there, except that we got gift certificates for Christmas. It just hurts to think of paying $5 for an ice cream cone! Don't get me wrong, it was really good, but you can buy two half gallons of the good ice cream at the store for the same price! Anyway, it was too crowded in the shop itself to sit down, so we sat in the car and talked. It was fun! I even got some ice cream on my chin and had Trey lick it off. It was hot! If you know anything about me, you would understand that this was a strange feeling to me, as I do not like people touching my face. I ESPECIALLY don't like my face being licked or getting spit on it in any way! So, it was kinda cool to be having so much fun that it kinda turned me on!

We were going to go to the movies afterward, but by the time we finished eating our ice cream, it was already nine o'clock, and, sadly, Trey had to come home and write his schedule for work! I am so glad we got to go out, though. It was definitely a needed break! Thanks so much to Gina and Wesley for helping make it possible! TJ sure does love to go see you guys! You should have seen him when they got to their house. He just walked right in and headed right to Julia's room and started playing, like he owned the place!

So, I have to tell you my TJ story, and then I'll let you go (assuming you're still here!). Trey took him to Toys'R'Us today, and they were playing with the little wooden train set-up they had in there. There was a chair laying on the floor beside TJ, with some scattered toys around it. Trey said that a woman went to walk by, and TJ ran over and picked up the chair, moved it to the side, put the toys on it, and then stepped aside to let her pass(this was where the tears started welling up!). She commented that he was such a good little boy, and asked if he usually cleans up like that at home. Trey told her yes, and then as she walked away, he knocked the chair back over! Yep, that's my child for you! Oh, but how exciting is that! My child, MY CHILD, got a compliment on being a good boy, and he TOTALLY earned it! What good manners he has! We are doing such a great job raising him! These are the moments you never forget, and cherish. These are the moments that make me secure in my mothering abilities. I love my child!

Anyway, I suppose I've gone on long enough. Nice talking to you. I hope your day is totally exciting, like mine will be! I'll see you soon! Later!

First off, is anyone else having trouble commenting on other people's posts? I can't get it to work. The last few days it has been slow for me, but now I just can't get it to do it at all. It wouldn't work for me at work, either.

Anyway, please go here, and check out my meager attempt at putting pics on the web for people to look at. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it will do for now, and it's free, so...This is my little show of TJ's life up till now. Of course, it's missing most of his first year, as I have those pics all on a disk somewhere, and I'm not sure where right now. Oh, so here it is, let me know what you think:

http://www.msnusers.com/TJsLittleWorld

When you get there, click on Pictures, to the left, and if you click on the first one, you can see them all big, and one after the other. I tell you, TJ is just so damn cute (yes, that is me being VERY biased, but can you argue?)!

Oh, and please read the joke below. It is just so funny I busted out laughing, and I never do that. For you married, dating, or even just interested in other people people, it's a great joke!

Have a great day! See you soon!

I may have already sent this to some of you, but I had to let everyone see it...I read it during some free time in class, and I'm sure the students thought there was something wrong with me as I started cracking up out of nowhere!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while...You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.

Your friends want to know - Are You Normal? Take our quiz to find out: www.runormal.com

As for you: pleauh@sc.rr.com

Your Normalcy Score is 64 out of 100.
This makes you 2 % less normal than the average person who completed our quiz.

You landed pretty much in the middle of the spectrum, which means either you're normal with occasional wacky spurts, or vice-versa. Either way, looks like we won't need that straight jacket after all. (Help us keep our quizzes free. Don't forget to forward this email to your friends.)

I have tears in my eyes right now. Partially b/c of laughing, and partly b/c of crying a little. As you may or may not know, TJ is gone to Lancaster until Thursday morning, and I was just looking at this totally goofy pic I have of him on here. I laughed b/c everytime I see I can't help it, and I cried b/c I really hate when he has to leave. I tell you, June is just creeping its way here. I really wish that something would change, and I wouldn't have to wait until then....

I just read an interesting and thought-provoking post by Anvilcloud about Alzheimer's and senile dementia. Alzheimer's runs in my family, and so it's a pretty scary issue to me. I am quite sure that I will one day start the process of simple forgetting (well, I already have) and end up a vegetable, as others in my family already have. I pray that a cure is on the way. I don't care for me, so much, but for my family. It is a very hard thing to deal with, and very upsetting for those who know it's coming, and just to see someone you love deteriorate like that. So, if you have any feelings on the subject, please check out Anvilcloud's recent post. Plus, he gives another plug for The Notebook.

So today was an exciting day! I went to a rally in downtown Columbia for school choice. It was called "Putting Parents in Charge", or PPIC. Basically,a bill was in the house today to be voted on that, if passed, would allow parents to take a $4000 tax credit for each child if they sent them to a private school or homeschooled them. It would take forever to explain the whole idea, but overall, I think it's wonderful. Mind you, most public school teachers don't want it, but after today, I think it's mostly b/c they don't understand it. On first glance, it looks like a terrible thing, taking money from schools. It's not like that at all. Anyway, I went to the state house and visited one of my representatives offices, and one of my senators offices. Neither of them were there, but I signed on that I am supporting the cause. Then I went to the front of the state house and the Governor, Mark Sanford (whom I did not vote for), spoke to everyone about the plan. What I liked the most, besides the idea itself, was that he openly thanked Democrats for being there, as it is the heart of Democratic beliefs to make change, and work for the better of all people, even those at the bottom of the totem-pole. It was great to see both parties working together on an issue, and especially one so important. I have already decided for sure that my children will not go to public schools, so I really hope that this bill passes. It would do wonderful things for education in our state, especially for public schools. Plus, the rally itself was just fun. I talked to a lot of people from all over the state. What I really liked was that it gave me some hope again. I have it set in my mind that all kids are bad and thugs and criminals, as I see everyday at school. So, to see kids out (there were tons of them!) that not only are normal and good, but that care enough about promoting their education to push for this themselves, was a great and inspiring thing. I really hope it passes. I shall make this one of my new prayers. Of course, I think they voted on it today, so had I watched the news, I would already know if it had or not. I'll have to check the internet later.

Alrighty then, I guess that's it for me. I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

Oh, what a happy boy!
I know I'm bad, but I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this pic! He looks so, ummm, silly!

Don't mess wit' me, Beyotch! We all know who wears the pants in this relationship! 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Today went reasonably well. I had a couple of classes that were pains in the butt, but for the most part they were good. It's so funny how one student can change an entire class. My second period used to be my best class all day, and one student was put in there a couple of weeks ago, and they haven't sat down or shut up since. Wierd. What's worse is that you can't just deal with that one kid, b/c when you do, the rest go crazy. M was not in class today, and his class went PERFECTLY! I can't wait until he's moved from my roll. I found this little word find thingy where they had to cross off the word love 50 times in the search part, and the leftover letters made a secret message--"Will you be my Valentine?" I told them it was a special secret from me to them, and that they had to write down what it was, answer it, and don't tell anyone what it said. They all really got into it, which was so cute! Plus, everyone who remembered to answer my message said "Yes!" I was so touched...I made sure to get all silly like I was going to cry everytime I saw one with yes on it. You should have seen the smiles on their faces! Those were some of the moments I will take with me when I leave. I am so happy to say there are many more like that that I will always remember.

I had a lot of fun this weekend. I went home to go to a birthday party for Leah, TJ's girlfriend who's a month younger than him. It was pretty cool. The whole time, actually whole weekend, TJ was very VERY bashful. He clung to me, even stuck his head in my butt! We spent the night at Ashley's house (Leah's mom), and Saturday night we watched The Notebook. That was a great movie. It was a love story, a total tear-jerker--perfect for tonight! Will, Ashley's fiance', does lighting for movies, and he worked on the movie, so it was especially cool to be able to see his name in the credits. Yesterday we didn't do much, but TJ did get to run around in Leah's yard for a while. It made me feel bad. He had so much fun just running around outside. We don't have that here. I mean, we can take him somewhere to run around, but I can't just open the door and let him run out into the yard. We have to prepare for TJ to be able to just be free! I can't honestly say when we'll have a yard again, at the rate we're going. I guess I'll just have to do the best I can, eh?

One last thing...Do take a minute to check out Gina and Wesley's new blogs. They have joined the revolution! It's all because of you guys, so we must support them in their new endeavors. Plus, Gina's got some SUPER CUTE pics of the family on hers. Wesley has promised great things, and threw out a few compliments and special thoughts to the dads-to-be I love to read from so much. Plus, I'm related, so I gotta look out for my peeps!

Hey, how about this...Tell me all about how your Valentine's Day went, if you celebrated. I'd love to hear. Of course, if you're posting it anyway, no need to write it again, but I really would love to hear. Or, tell a good past V-Day story. Whatever...I'm just really in the love mood today (must be all my special Valentines I have!). I don't get to celebrate Valentine's Day on the day, ever, so I'll live vicariously through you guys! I hope your day is simply lovely, and I'll see you soon!

You're Not a Hipster!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

It is wonderful to say that today went MUCH better than yesterday. Of course, at school all we did for the most part was watch movies. I kinda expected we would, though. They said we were going to watch A Long Walk Home during 1st and 2nd, which got moved to 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. That worked PERFECTLY for me! My first period class is a bunch of jerks. I had a newspaper assignment for them, that was really easy and didn't require my assistance, for the most part. So I got to chill with them. Then, my second period just came and watched the movie for two periods. For some reason they kept them till fourth (?), which was fine. They got on the computers, slept, or helped me clean up and organize my room. It looks so much better now, thanks to Derrick and Ray! (That was my shout-out!) After lunch I was forced to teach to my fifth period class, who didn't seem too into the idea. However, I got a decent amount of work out of them. Then, again for some strange reason, they held them over during sixth, and we watched Apollo 13...well, about half of it at least! Anyway, a pretty easy day, with very little drama. Ahhhhhh.....

TJ's girlfriend, Leah, is having her 2nd birthday party tomorrow in Summerville. Her mom just told me today, so I had to rush out and get her a present. I think she'll like it, though. I found some little t-shirts on sale at Old Navy that are just so cute, and just right for spring! Then I found a magnetic board with little wooden ABC's on it, a white board, and a chalkboard. I think Leah can have a great time with that! I felt bad b/c TJ thought it was his, and he really wanted his ABC toy (he doesn't have one). However, after I explained that it wasn't his, everytime he saw it, he would go, "No, no, that's Leah's toy (with extra stress on LEEEAAAHHHH). I can't play with that." It was so cute! It was like me and chocolate. "No, no, that's chocolate. I can't eat that...I gave it up." Did I mention that I gave up chocolate for Lent? If not, well, I did. I do believe this will be a VERY hard month coming! I am so looking forward to Easter. I told Trey I'm going to buy Cadbury Easter Eggs every week until Easter, and when I can eat chocolate again, I'm going to eat them until I'm too sick to move. I love me some Cadbury Eggs!

Isn't it hard to believe that one day can be SOOOO bad, and the next day be so great? It's like, how can life be so polar? Wonder what tomorrow will be like? You just never know.

Oh, and I found out that Gina, Wesley and the kids will be in Charleston for a birthday party on Sunday. I will most likely spend the night Saturday night, which means I, too, will be in the area. I got a little excited, thinking we could meet up somewhere or something. Then I realized that I have no idea what we would do. I thought about going to the SUPER AWESOME Gahagan playground if the weather's nice. They probably won't want to, though. Maybe we can just meet and grab some food or something before we all head back. Or, maybe we can just wait and see each other some other time. It just seems cool that someone I know, besides those who live there, will be in the same town as me at the same time! Not a big coincidence (they, too, used to live there), but seemingly HUGE to me!

Oh, and one last thing. It seems that my ranting about Bush the other day got some people all in a tizzy. My take on what I say about what I think on here is this: If you agree with me, fine. If you don't agree with me, fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I just felt like spewing mine off at the moment, and really didn't mean to start a debate. I don't mind people commenting on the issue, or my feelings about it. However, unless I ask, I don't really feel like debating or defending my position, either. What really got me thinking about all of this was, of course, some strange comments posted to my post the other day (from whom, I have no idea), and Jin's blog. She is living in Iowa right now to go to school, and she hates it there. Fair enough. She tells people she hates it and why, and these people get on and go off on her, calling her mean names and insulting everything about her. I understand that when you write on here, and allow comments, then you are welcoming people to voice their opinions on what they write. However, what you write is what you think. It doesn't mean that the reader has to agree with you, or needs to change your opinion. It just means that that person is taking advantage of the free internet space they were given to say what they want. It just seems to me that people get way too touchy about some of these things. Who knows! Anyway, I'm voting for Hillary in 2008, just to voice my thoughts. Hopefully that won't upset too many people, nor will I lose too many friends. Go Hillary!

Alrighty then, I hope you have a supercalifragilisticexpealidocious day! I'll see you soon!

It would take WAY too long to cover all of my day in one post. I will try to be short on the less important stuff. How's that?

First, I came in late to work today. Just a little bit late for first period. I had to get my students from another teacher's class. When I went to get them, she was PAINTING HER FINGERNAILS!!! She had almost 20 students in her classroom (only 2 were mine), and instead of being a teacher, she was doing her nails. I only hope that the horror I felt was conveyed on my face. What upset me the most, is that this woman has it out for me, and is always the first to turn me in for any mistake I make, and talk bad behind my back. I wanted SO bad to tell someone and get her in trouble, but I will not stoop to her level. It does really upset me, though, as she parades around as this great teacher.

So then, 2nd period comes, and I get called to go talk to the principal. I can honestly say that I was so hoping I had done something so bad that she was going to fire me (I'm still on my one year probation till April, and can be fired for pretty much nothing, and no one ever knows what they've been doing wrong until they get caught doing it). I apparently talked about something with a parent of a student that I wasn't supposed to (again, was never told of this), and also told a social worker something about a student that was incorrect (long story, but it was apparently my mistake, and had this not come up, they would never have said a word about it, he would never have been punished for his behavior, and I would have continued to make the same mistake with no consequences for the students), and she has to now go and talk to said social worker and fix the problem. I told her I was sorry I didn't know better, as I had never been told, and she sent me on my way. So I didn't get fired yet, igh!

I made it all the way to lunch w/o too many problems after that (2 whole periods). Then, during 5th period, my lead teacher comes in and asks me how the head of special ed. (an evil witch that takes pleasure in hunting out our errors and yelling at us until we cry) knows about a mistake I made the other day on an IEP. I had covered it, and all was to be well, or so I thought. Undoubtedly, this was not the case, as one of my fellow spec. ed. teachers decided to go behind my back and tell on me. I am about 90% sure I know who it is, and it really, really hurts my feelings that she would do such a thing. Funny, she was absent today, and when I found out I was watching her class! So now I get to try to get this whole mess fixed, and hopefully w/o the big, bad boss coming and trying to make me cry again. However, if she does, I do feel certain that that will be my last day.

So, I go to get ready for the next two IEP's I have to have meetings for this afternoon, and, lo and behold, my computer program to write them is not working! Now I have to wait until the end of the school day, which is our only planning time, if you could call it that, to hunt down a computer with a working program on it and type them up! Plus, I still have to have the meetings! It happened, but barely. Glad it did, though, b/c otherwise I'm sure the boss would find out about these mistakes and have a field day with it all!

So, I have decided that my new goal at work is to get fired. I figured out that if I get fired, then I can draw unemployment. I figure that if I keep making mistakes like the ones I made yesterday, then I should be fine, and fired by the end of next week. Of course, that is just a dream, b/c they won't fire me b/c I want it too bad, and they need me too bad. So, another teacher offered to let me hit him. He said that was a surefire way to get me fired in a heartbeat, and he promised he wouldn't press charges. I'm seriously contemplating it....seriously.

So I am on my way home, and Gina calls to see if we want to go eat with them at their house. I hate accepting their offers, b/c I am not very well equipped to return the favor. However, Trey was off today, and I thought it would be so much fun for us to go over and spend quality time with another cool couple, and my nephew and neice. Then, something came up and it got cancelled. I wasn't mad or anything, but it was a little sad. I got a little too excited about getting to hang out. No worries, though, b/c we promised to do it again soon. I think it was just more upsetting b/c of the day I had already had.

Finally, we are home and settled, and the OC is about to come on. Trey's mom is here, b/c she is staying with TJ tomorrow, and I suddenly think of the Valentine's cards I had made at Wal-Mart, and how I want to go ahead and give her hers. I get up to go get them, and I realize I have no idea where they are. I look everywhere, and they are nowhere to be found. I call Trey, who's at the store, and he has no idea. We left them in the basket last night. They are gone. For the first time I'm on time, and I actually am planning to do something, and still I mess it up. It only seems fitting for a day like today. So now I'm out the cutest little V-Day cards in the world. I thought I couldn't be more depressed.

I can. It seems that Sandy is stupid enough to leave his wife on Valentine's Day to go see his ex, and tell her goodbye before she leaves town. BAD move! Then, while he's there, he kisses her, then tells her not to leave town. I thought I was going to die! Sandy has always been my constant, and here he has ruined his relationship, just like that. And Kirsten is the best wife in the whole wide world! I'm now completely devastated! Btw, if you don't watch the OC, this last paragraph is completely confusing to you.

So, that's my lousy day in a nutshell. A pretty bad day indeed. I will say, though, that I found out the details for the rally on Tuesday that I wanted to go to, and I plan on going. That is exciting. I just hope Tuesday doesn't turn out to be a day like today, or I'm in for tons of fun.

I'm sorry if this was depressing, and lacking in anything interesting to you. It did feel good to vent, though, so my writing this had some value. I do hope that your day goes great (as I hope for my tomorrow), and I'll see you soon!

My antibiotics and what-not have hit me pretty hard tonight, so please excuse me if my writing's not at its best.

First off, I just now realized that you can't see my pics that are listed on the side, can you? I always just thought you could click on the link, and it would take you right to them. I just noticed that it only does that for me, b/c I'm signed in! Well, poo-poo! I'll have to figure out some way to make that work. If you know of one, do let me know. So, that's why I have posted the pics of my niece, nephew, and sister-in-law below, b/c I didn't realize that when I told Karla to look there, she couldn't. (PS-If you also want to see Wesley, their daddy, just let me know. I've got him on candid camera too!)

So, on with the story...I have added a couple of new blogs to my list of current reads, b/c I am getting even more excited about being prego, and I have found a couple more cool prego sites through Karla's page. You should check them out if you get a chance. I especially like Tim's, b/c he's the dad in the situation, and, like Daemon's, it's fun to see it from their perspective!

Also, back to Gina for a minute. She wrote something today on Karla's site that gave me happy chills. She told Karla that she had been praying for her in her time of need via my asking, and I got giddy with excitement. I mean, I really and truly did want people to pray, and hoped that they were, but when she said it, it just made it all the more real, and showed the true power of what it can do. I feel like such a gimp lately, b/c it seems that that's all I can talk about, but it's just a revelation that I can't yet get over. Ain't life grand! Anyway, I may have to say more on this later. I had to drive to Lancaster today to get TJ, and I had lots of time to think, and I was thinking about how my life is changing for the good, and how I seem to be overcoming the life I was raised in to be a much more positive person. Well, at least I think so. Anyway, when I have more time, and my brain is more controlled, I might write more on this...

Oh, and I am quite a bit upset. I saw on the news today that Bush is cutting domestic spending by 1%, which seems like nothing. However, that little bit is going to cut the revitalization programs that Columbia has working right now, which was making it a better place for everyone to live (and which it really needs). Bush claims that our national deficit can't be ignored, so we have to make cuts to try to fix it. Okay, so let me get this straight...We are spending BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS of dollars to fund a war to make the world better for the people of Iraq. Okay, I get that. Of course, in the process, we are going into major debt. Okay, I get that, too. But let's see...deficit over saving the world...I've got it! Let's cut spending to help the people of our own country and let it go to hell! There you go! We need that money to build a better Iraq! Who cares about housing for our poor and underpaid! Who cares about spending money on education! My kids have a nice house. My kids are well educated. We must help Iraq rebuild and become a wonderful place to live! Yes, Bush, thank you. Meanwhile, our slums will stay slums, and our children will become stupid. Then, perhaps one day in the near future, the well educated Iraqi children that you helped to save can come and take over our country and live in the nice houses that are left over. That would be nice.

I'm not sure if that all made sense, but anyway, I'm pretty upset at that news. Again, I'm drugged, so if it didn't make sense, then please blame the drugs. Alrighty then, I'm off to bed now. I hope you all have a terrific day, and I'll see you soon!

This is Julia! Isn't she beautiful!  

This is Blake! He's not even trying, and he's just naturally that cute! 

Tee hee! And this is Gina! 

I was just almost finished with a post, when I accidentally pushed some stupid button on the keyboard, and wiped it all away! That REALLY irks me!

So anyway, what I was talking about was this show I just watched, called Trading Spouses. On it there was a couple who had about seven kids or so, and over half of them were clearly adopted (three were Asian, and one was black, while the parents were starch white--you know they weren't blood!). I was really moved by how happy they all seemed together, and the diversity of the family and how they didn't care. It was evidenced during the show that they were indeed a happy family. It got me to thinking about something that has been on my mind for a while now. I watched a documentary the other day about this couple that had older kids that didn't live at home anymore, who wanted more kids. So they decided to adopt. They ended up adopting these three boys that were all brothers, who had been abused and neglected and separated in the system, with no hope of ever living together again. Their lives were changed when this couple adopted them and made them a family again. Then, they went on to adopt a little girl who was mentally disabled, who was sure to never get adopted b/c of her disability, but was as cute as can be. She, too, had had a rocky past in the system, and it took them a lot of time and work to build trust with her, but she came through just fine. In the end they all became one happy family. The whole time I watched this, not only was I in awe of the wonderful thing these people had done, and how they had further extended their family with such a worthy group of people, but I was also totally jealous. I have for some time now been seriously wanting to adopt some children. I know that sounds stupid, as I am just now having my own. I realize that this is not something that I want to do right now, and it will have to wait for some time, but I really want to do this. I feel like it may be why God put me on this earth. I have this spot in my heart that makes me want to save the world in some small part, and I honestly don't feel like teaching is the way I can do it. It just doesn't feel right to me, and it never has. I mean, just imagine it. Here are these children that want desperately to be loved and to be a part of a loving family and know that someone, the same someone, will always care about them. What better way to save the world than to help these children out of bad situations and bring them into my family to feel loved and supported and see that there are wonderful things in this world? I can't think of any. Plus, I would have more people to love and help. I am already getting sad about TJ growing up one day and leaving me. Trey doesn't want to have any more children, and I don't blame him. I don't want anymore babies after this one. I can't explain why, except that maybe it's just b/c they're too hard when they are so helpless. I don't know. I do know, though, that I don't want to stop after Taryn is born. I have way too much to offer to just stop at two kids. While I was pregnant with TJ, I wanted to become a part of the foster program, but Trey vetoed that idea. I can't say that I blame him, as he didn't want strange kids coming and going from our home. With TJ on the way, that did make sense. This, however, is obviously something that has been on my mind for a while, and I feel will be on my mind for a long time to come, until I finally actually get to do it. I realize, again, that it is in the far future that I am talking about, but it does excite me just to think about the possibility of one day being able to adopt more kids!

Another thing that I saw on the show made me cry. In case you don't know about the show, Trading Spouses, it's about two families that trade moms for one week. The idea is that they are not only doing it to get $50K, but also to learn about themselves and their own families by being with these other families. They usually switch two moms with totally opposite parenting techniques. The one tonight was a continued one from last week, where a totally naggy mom traded with a really accepting and loving mom (this is the one with all the adopted children). She was talking to the son of her "new" family about his artwork and his love of tattooing and piercing. His real mom did not approve, and was openly disdainful of his appreciation of the art. The new mom said something that really is a motto that I hope I live by and stick to throughout the lives of my children. She said, "You may not like what it is that your children like, but you gotta find out what it is that gets his fire going. Then you gotta encourage it and work with him to make him feel valued as a person." I probably shouldn't put quotes, b/c I'm absolutely sure these aren't her exact words. However, that is the jist of what she said, and I just totally felt it. I know that I will not always like what my children love to do. I already don't like that TJ likes Boobah, or that he seems to have an affinity for jumping off of things that are too high for him to jump off of. However, I must accept that this is what he loves. I will do so in a way that says, "Hey, I'm not into that, but I totally see how you could be." Then I will encourage it and work with him to make sure he understands that I am behind him and his decisions in life. I will also, of course, have to keep an eye on him and make sure he does whatever he does in a safe way (ie-he loves to jump, but I have taught him that if he's going to jump, he has to hold Mommy's hand first), and that it's not something that's going to bring him down. All I know is that if your child really wants to do something, and feels it strongly (like, for more than five minutes!), then if you bash it, you are pushing him away, and closing the door to an open and close relationship. I just really, really hope that TJ doesn't one day start to love ghetto thug rap and shooting people!

Alrighty, this looks like yet again another long post that I meant to stay short. I really should work on that! Funny, I write just like I talk...a LOT! Okay, well, you guys have a great day, and I will see you soon!

So, I finally felt well enough to go to church today. I am so glad I did, and I can't wait to go back next week! When I first went to drop TJ off in his daycare room, they were so happy to see him, and there were actually a couple other kids there. Usually, there may be one, but that's it. He didn't even cry when I went to leave. He's growing up so fast! What a big boy! The other little boys' parents had left several minutes before, and they were still crying! Oh, but on the sign in table, they had a list of all of the pregnant people in the church, and when they are due. I was shocked! I knew there was the one girl with twins (Egad!), and one other I had heard about, but that was it. There are like, nine or ten pregnant women! I'm due next to last, with one due in July after me. Wow! I had no idea, and it's kinda exciting. I'm wondering if maybe I can get to know some of the moms, since we will obviously have a lot in common, and get to be friends with them. That would be cool. What also excites me is that I know there will be lots of little people for Taryn to play with in her class, since they will all be born before September, when the grades change. Hooray! I was also excited b/c not only did Ruth sit next to me (which is cool, b/c she was my first real church buddy, even though she's old enough to be my grandma!), but we had communion today. I like communion, and the bread, for some reason, was just really good today. The best part of church, however, was the sermon. Well, kinda. To be honest, I really wasn't feeling it like I usually do for the most part of it. Usually everything he says is just so profoundly speaking to me and my problems at that second, that I was a little let down that I felt like he was talking about something not pertaining to my immediate troubles today. Go figure, he didn't automatically tap into my brain and feel moved to write about me! Here's the kicker, though, and the reason for my title today: The last line of his sermon just hit me, and I felt like it really got to me and answered all of my questions. I thought for sure that it would change my life, and I would never forget it. I would love to tell you what it was he said, but I FORGOT IT! Needless to say, when I left church today, I felt good, and I feel motivated to carry on and try to make the best of my life right now.

Thanks go out to Karla and Daemon Cain, for all of their nice words and really thought provoking comments of the last couple of days. They have told me things I already know, but have chosen to push to the back of my mind and ignore. So, in essence, they have brought them back to the forefront of my brain, and hopefully I will be able to keep them there, instead of the depressing crap I have been set on. I think that staying home sick all last week and not thinking about anything external really didn't help at all. Sometimes it's just nice to focus on stuff outside of home, so you can focus a little less on problems in the home. I think that's kinda what Pastor Jones was talking about today in his profound statement (which I forgot!) during the sermon. I think he said essentially what Karla said, and Daemon, that God has a plan for everyone, and we have to learn from it. Something like that. I think I will have to email him and ask him what it was he said, b/c it's bothering me that I can't remember, especially since I was so convinced that it was going to make such a difference in my life!

I watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton today. It was cute. I have been wanting to see it for a long time. I really like Topher Grace. I don't know why, but I think he's so cute, and I really like his sarcasm. Of course the movie was cheesy at times, which I totally expected. However, it was very likable if you are expecting a teen kinda flick. The guy, Josh Duhamel, who played Tad isn't really much of a favorite to me. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's pretty good looking and all, but he just doesn't do it for me. However, upon watching this movie, I noticed that he looks a LOT like one of my favorite actors in the world, Timothy Olyphant. Now, Timothy is HOT! I kinda wish he was in the movie instead, even though I don't think he was quite right. Check them out, tell me if you think they look similar.

Well, I gotta go back to work tomorrow. Igh! It's like, I'm looking forward to going back, somewhat, but not really. I liked being with TJ all day everyday. I'll miss him this week. Just four more months, and I can have that! I can't wait! I am so excited that there are so many pregos out there! I'm so excited for everyone! I hope you all have a terrific day, and I'll see you soon!

Have you ever had a period in your life when you felt like you were in a deep hole, and everytime you went to climb out, someone dumped another big scoop of dirt on your head? That's how I feel lately. By lately, I mean the last three years, which is probably not so good.

I woke up this morning thinking, "Today is going to be a great day, I can feel it!" We had an appointment to get our taxes done at 9:30, and I just knew they were going to tell us wonderful stuff. So, when everything was going wrong, and the appt. didn't actually start till after 10:30, I still was undaunted, even though Trey was now going to be late to work. It would still be good...Finally, at 11:30 (he was supposed to be there at 11), the incompetent man at H&R Block finished our taxes. The grand total-less than $3000. I was hoping for at least $4000, as we got last year, b/c I want to pay off Trey's car. That kinda threw a wrench in my plans, eh? Just goes to show that making more money doesn't always work in your favor. Nonetheless, I still kept my hopes up that today would be good otherwise.

So, from 1-3 pm today my real estate agent had an open house planned for our house. I'll admit that that seems a short time to me, and I wonder why he's not having it tomorrow, too, as most people do. However, he's a good agent, and I figure he knows better than me. When 3 came around, I was hoping that at some point in the near future, I would at least get an email from him, just letting me know what's up. It seems to be a considerate thing to do, right? I got nothing. This says to me that, regardless of what happened, nobody came in, fell in love with the house, and immediately put a contract on it. I emailed him this evening asking how it went, and hopefully he'll write back, even though I doubt there will be news to celebrate. I do appreciate your help if you were praying and hoping for us. I have come to the conclusion that God wants us to learn a bigger lesson from this house than just to have to scrimp and save for a while. So, we have decided that we can no longer afford to pay the payment anymore, and I'm quite sure we will learn a BIG lesson from what's to come. What a sad ending to this story...

If you've ever been in a situation such as this, where it seems like nothing you do works out right, and everytime you see hope in the distance, it turns out to be another disappointment, how did you manage? I feel like it's really hard to stay the optimistic person I try to be when life keeps smacking me in the face. I realize that events of late have shown that my problems are nothing in the grand scheme of things, and that I should be thankful for the wonderful things I have. By far, even those I know, have suffered far worse scares in just the last week alone than we have over this house. However, when all slows down, and I can't focus on worrying about other people, it just hits me in the face again what is going on in my own life, and how I have no control over it.

I'm sorry if I just totally told too much information to you all, and if you really don't care to hear this. I guess I just figured that if this is truly my online journal, then I wanted to write about the stuff that's really bothering me. Hopefully you understand, and I promise I won't always air all of my dirty laundry. Anyway, I guess I'll go now. I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon.

Today was filled with much better news. Amanda had her surgery, and everything went fine. Karla was allowed to leave the hospital, and she and the baby are okay. If you prayed for them, thank you. Here, again, is proof that prayer works!

So I'm taking this medicine to get rid of this sickness, and I swear it's side effects are worse than what I was experiencing. The doctor told me to drink lots of water with the codeine, but I didn't realize that she meant I needed a tap hooked to my mouth! I have been drinking water like it's going out of style all day, so much so that it makes me sick. However, everytime I stop drinking it for a little while, my mouth dries out and I get a whopper headache! Plus, everytime I take any of the medicine, I get VERY tired and weak. I sure hope it's all gone before Monday, b/c I don't see me taking it during school hours! My cough is on its way out, though, which is good since TJ ate all of my cough drops!

Big news that I need your help with again...Tomorrow is the actual open house for our house. It's from 1-3 pm. The weather is expected to be pretty good, from what I've seen, and Trey went today and tidied up and freshened the air. All of the lightbulbs are in perfect working order, and he even blew the leaves all over again. So, it's at its best now, and I just pray that someone comes to see it and falls in love with it. My mom has been mindful to remind me that usually open houses really don't draw that much attention, and it probably won't sell b/c of it. However, I must keep hope alive. Tim, the realtor, advertised it online and in the Lancaster newspaper, plus he's putting up signs everywhere. So hopefully that will get a few people out. It only takes one serious looker to like it, right. If the house doesn't sell, we will be forced to look into drastic measures that could end up hurting us credit-wise. Soooo, please, if you read this in time, pray, pray, pray that it gets sold! We need all the help we can get! I feel like this is beginning to become a prayer request blog of sorts, but I promise that I will back off after this. Just so much important and scary stuff has been going on lately.

Oh, and I guess this is good news. For those of you that don't know, I haven't spoken to my dad in well over a year now. We are on the outs for many reasons, which I won't go into now. However, lately it seems that my problems with him have drifted over into the lives of the rest of my siblings (with the exception of my little brother, who just doesn't give a damn), and caused problems with them as well. So, a month or so ago I sent my dad a card telling him that I want to mend our problems and settle our differences. I didn't hear back from him, so I figured he didn't want to. My sister, who's also on the outs with him right now, asked him if he had gotten it (at my request), and he said yes, and that he was waiting to hear from me. I figured the card had put the ball in his field. I thought that was the end of it till we approached it again in the future. However, tonight he called and said that next time I was in town he wants to get together and talk about it and get back on good terms. That's good, I think. I'm not too thrilled b/c he said he wants me and him, and his wife Wanda to all sit down and talk, but I really don't want to talk to her, at least until I've talked to him alone. However, I guess both of them is better than nothing. I still don't know if I want to open up a relationship with him in which I'm expected to see him all that often (again, a long story, but I'm not overly fond of him or spending time with him). I guess it's better to be on good terms with your dad than none, though, right? After all, he is probably going to die sooner than later, as he has cancer and is determined to drink and smoke himself to an early grave anyway. So maybe it won't be that bad after all. Susan, Wesley, and anyone else who has any feelings on this, especially, please comment and tell me what you think.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Check out the quiz under this. I'm the It's a Small World ride....only my favorite ride at Disney World, and the scariest! I hope you all have a magnificent day, and I'll see you soon!

Today has been a day filled with mixed emotion, to say the least. I, myself, am pretty sick, and have now missed four days of work, which will soon be five, as my dr. told me not to go back until Monday. However, that is the least of my worries. Today I went to visit blogland, as I always do, and found out some disturbing news. First off, I read on Julia's page that her step-daughter, Amanda, has found a tumor on her breast. She just turned 15, and I'm sure that is a terrifying thing. I'm 26, and I couldn't handle it! It looks as if she'll be okay, but still, there's reason for worry. Then, as I was calming down from that, I read on Daemon Cain's page that Karla, in a precautionary visit to the dr., found out that her baby (she's about seven months along) is having heart troubles. Oh, how scary! I know that if I heard this news, I would die, and I can completely understand how she must be feeling right now. Mark told me that it looks like everything might be okay, but they're holding her till tomorrow to make sure. They are not out of harm's way yet, and I'm still scared for them. I had to cry a little, from sheer fright for them, and Richard's family, and afterward, vowed to pray and pray for them all until I am sure that everything's alright. I would ask that you, too, do the same please. I have my fair share of problems right now, as I'm sure most people do, but sometimes it takes hearing news like this to realize that my problems are hardly worth fretting over when there are so much more important things to worry about, such as the life of a child, or one that hasn't even had her first breath. It sure does make you think, even more so when it's someone you know (even if it is only through the internet).

Well, I think I've said enough, it's making me sad again. I went to the dr. today, and I got three prescriptions. One was for codeine, which I had to be ID'd to get. It's a narcotic. I feel so cool! Sure hope I don't get hooked! It would be nice if it actually works, and I can talk again!

Oh, and I have to tell you this story. I feel totally vindicated in my parenting skills now. Since I have been home with TJ all week, I've been trying to get him on a more set routine for the evenings before he goes to bed, and kinda try to fix some of the stuff that we were doing wrong. For instance, we would turn on cartoons for him when he went to bed, and then he found out that he could run out everytime a commercial came on to tell us that the cartoon went off. Wesley pointed out to me the other night that the tv was more than likely stimulating him and keeping him awake. I was tired of him being up till 12:30 every night, especially when I had to work in the morning. So, I made up a routine. At 8 we turn off all the bright lights and go to lamps. We eat. After we eat, we chill for a little bit and clean up the mess from the day (ie-toys). Then TJ takes a bath at 9 (yes, that's still a little late, but Trey doesn't get home till 9:30 or so, and he likes to see him before he goes to bed). Afterwards, I dry him off and give him a massage with baby lotion (I read that it stimulates a baby's intelligence when you massage him--plus, he smells SO good, and he loves it!). Once he's in him jammies, he gets his vitamin (spidamin), and then brushes his teeth. He gets to hang out for a few minutes, where we usually read a book ten thousand times over, and then he is put in bed. It's a great and easy routine, and even fits with my tv schedule. So far this week he has been fighting us when he's actually in the bed b/c there's no tv anymore and just music. He will get up about ten times or more. Tonight he only got up twice, and then passed out! Hooray! Oh, but here's the clincher...When we first finished eating, and I told him we were going to clean up, he went right to it. How cool! Then, while we were cleaning up his music instruments, Trey came over and starting playing his drum. I started to go off about what lesson he was teaching TJ, and then TJ did the unexpected...He walked up to Trey and said, "NO! Daddy, we are cleaning up right now!" He got right up in his face and gave him a dirty look! It was a classic moment for me, which I'm sure I showed with a shit-eating grin on my face! Then he repeated his message to Trey, "Daddy, stop! We are cleaning up right now!" Talk about making a mommy feel good about herself and the job she's done! I will live off of that forever, and I'm sure I'll be telling his friends that story one day!

I have got to work on making these a little shorter, as I'm sure I'm losing you all after the first sentence! Please remember to pray for those most in need right now, as you can only help their situation. I hope your day goes well, and I will see you soon!

Ha ha ha! I feel so evil, and sneaky! We don't have classes on Wednesday afternoons, and I should be working. After all, I haven't been here for four and a half days now. I don't feel like it, though, so instead I'll write. Sorry I've been away for a few days now, I've been sick and tired. Plus, when you have been sitting around your house all day everyday, there's not much to talk about, aside from whining about being sick. Who wants to hear that!

So I showed up at work today right before lunch, and I decided to go visit my class before they left. Michael thought it was the funniest thing that I can't talk. I can see that if I don't get my voice back soon, this could get bad. I also found it interesting that, although he wasn't working, as soon as I walked in, Michael thought it a-okay to start running his mouth and got up and started walking around the room. I need to work on that. My workshops last week taught me that I have made my problem with him what it is to an extent, and now I have to fix it (or go crazy, whichever comes first!).

So I've kinda got an issue with myself lately. I'm pretty sure that I am viewed as a slacker at work now. For good reason, no doubt, but still it's a little alarming. I mean, I can honestly say that I care very little anymore about what goes on around here. The atmosphere has gotten to me, and I'm not the motivated and excited person I used to be. However, I don't want to be seen as a joke, which I think I am. For instance, today was Coach's retirement luncheon. I volunteered to make fudge for it. I forgot, as I have been sick and had no real idea of even what day it was until this morning. To be honest, even if I had remembered, I don't know that I would have wanted to, being sick and possibly spreading nasty germs to everyone who ate. They said it was alright, and there was plenty of dessert to go around, so it was fine. However, I felt like, deep down, they were like, "Well, shoulda known better." I have been out a lot lately, a LOT. Mostly it's because I've been sick in one way or another. I know that if I didn't dislike being here so much, though, that I would probably come on some of the days I was out sick anyway, and just suffer a little. I'm sure that everyone understands that it's just b/c I'm pregnant, and this is the time of year for sickness anyway. I have to admit that this pregnancy is a little more taxing on me than TJ's was (which scares me a little as to how the child will end up!). I would feel like everyone understood, except that the teacher across the hall cheers everytime I come in after being gone. Today I got an email from her saying how glad she is that I'm back. I suppose I should be happy, except that when other teachers are gone, I don't think she does it with them. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that she teaches resource, too, and she has to watch my kids a lot when I'm gone. Still, I feel like I'm singled out and it makes her mad when I'm not here, like I'm screwing everyone or something. Whenever something is going on, like the luncheon today, I try to volunteer to help. I've thought about it, and decided that maybe I would be better off just not volunteering, as I tend to forget things a lot lately. I have the "pregnancy stupids" right now, which doesn't help my case very much. Does anyone think I'm just making all of this paranoia up, or does it sound valid? Have you ever felt that way about your job? I know it probably has something to do with how I feel about my job myself. I know I am not working to full potential anymore. I don't want to. It would take far too much effort to do all of the things I want to do, and I don't have the time to do it. I am not going to give up my family time to work on school stuff anymore, as I did my first year, and part of my first year here. It's funny, one time my boss came and yelled at me, and when I told her I didn't have time to finish all of the things that were expected of me (they gave me another class in place of my planning period, then took my end of the day planning away, too), she told me I should take it home and work on it. Little did she know, I already was, and it just wasn't working. However, that day was when I decided that all of the hard work I was doing was getting me nowhere, and I was sacrificing something far more important to me--my family. Trey and I were having problems, b/c I spent all my time working on school stuff and trying to find a few minutes to see a show or two. I vowed to no longer take school work home. If it didn't get done before 3:45, then it would have to wait. I'm still backed up beyond belief (and here I am typing away instead of working on that!), but I have realized that I always will be. Now, however, my family life is TONS better, and I'm a much happier person. I've even slowed down on the magnitude of grey hairs I've been growing! I do feel bad, though, b/c again, I am not the teacher I want to be. I am just getting by, not changing the world. So what do you think? I am sure that family is more important, but would you feel bad if you didn't do your job to your full potential? Do you sacrifice your job or family to find true happiness at just one of them? All I know is that lately I feel like a slacker at work, and that everyone else can see it, and that doesn't seem to be such a good thing.

Alrighty then, I guess I gotta go now. I have to go to some dumb math training session right now. I think it's funny that it's being taught by a teacher who makes me look like teacher of the century. It's my understanding that she doesn't do anything but hand out worksheets all day, and sit and read books. This should be interesting....Have a terrific day, and I'll see you tomorrow!