Have you ever had a period in your life when you felt like you were in a deep hole, and everytime you went to climb out, someone dumped another big scoop of dirt on your head? That's how I feel lately. By lately, I mean the last three years, which is probably not so good.
I woke up this morning thinking, "Today is going to be a great day, I can feel it!" We had an appointment to get our taxes done at 9:30, and I just knew they were going to tell us wonderful stuff. So, when everything was going wrong, and the appt. didn't actually start till after 10:30, I still was undaunted, even though Trey was now going to be late to work. It would still be good...Finally, at 11:30 (he was supposed to be there at 11), the incompetent man at H&R Block finished our taxes. The grand total-less than $3000. I was hoping for at least $4000, as we got last year, b/c I want to pay off Trey's car. That kinda threw a wrench in my plans, eh? Just goes to show that making more money doesn't always work in your favor. Nonetheless, I still kept my hopes up that today would be good otherwise.
So, from 1-3 pm today my real estate agent had an open house planned for our house. I'll admit that that seems a short time to me, and I wonder why he's not having it tomorrow, too, as most people do. However, he's a good agent, and I figure he knows better than me. When 3 came around, I was hoping that at some point in the near future, I would at least get an email from him, just letting me know what's up. It seems to be a considerate thing to do, right? I got nothing. This says to me that, regardless of what happened, nobody came in, fell in love with the house, and immediately put a contract on it. I emailed him this evening asking how it went, and hopefully he'll write back, even though I doubt there will be news to celebrate. I do appreciate your help if you were praying and hoping for us. I have come to the conclusion that God wants us to learn a bigger lesson from this house than just to have to scrimp and save for a while. So, we have decided that we can no longer afford to pay the payment anymore, and I'm quite sure we will learn a BIG lesson from what's to come. What a sad ending to this story...
If you've ever been in a situation such as this, where it seems like nothing you do works out right, and everytime you see hope in the distance, it turns out to be another disappointment, how did you manage? I feel like it's really hard to stay the optimistic person I try to be when life keeps smacking me in the face. I realize that events of late have shown that my problems are nothing in the grand scheme of things, and that I should be thankful for the wonderful things I have. By far, even those I know, have suffered far worse scares in just the last week alone than we have over this house. However, when all slows down, and I can't focus on worrying about other people, it just hits me in the face again what is going on in my own life, and how I have no control over it.
I'm sorry if I just totally told too much information to you all, and if you really don't care to hear this. I guess I just figured that if this is truly my online journal, then I wanted to write about the stuff that's really bothering me. Hopefully you understand, and I promise I won't always air all of my dirty laundry. Anyway, I guess I'll go now. I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon.
My ranting and raving, and hopefully your reading!
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Oh well...
posted by Christi at 12:26 AM
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5 Comments:
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Look at all of the concern you've been showing to everyone else. Karla and I, the kids at school, Julia and her family, plus you've just been sick and you're going through regular pregnancy stuff too, and probably a million other concerns that I don't know about.
If I can suggest, you, Trey and the family should take some quiet time for yourselves. Just "be" together. Stop worrying about everyone else. It will only cause you more stress.
I'm positive the answer to your problems is right in front of you. You just haven't seen it yet.
On another note, I'm guessing your real-estate agent didn't bother scheduling an open house for today because it's Super Bowl Sunday.
Just a cheezy idea I had...have you thought about applying to be on one of those TV shows where they repaint and do some design work in your house to help sell it? Like "Take this house and sell it" on A&E?
http://www.aetv.com/tv/shows/sell_this_house/
You never know! -
I thought about that, the tv show thing and all, but the house really doesn't need it. It's an awesome house already, and everything is nice and newly painted in neutral colors that people like. As a matter of fact, supposedly everyone who's seen it has loved it. They just don't either care for the stairs, or care for the back yard, which is mostly paved, then a hill going up to the next person's back yard. There's nothing we can do about that. If you want to see some pics, not enough to do it justice, of course, you can go to: http://charlotte.coldwellbankerunited.com/content/AgentListingDetail.asp
I didn't think about the whole Super Bowl thing. It's probably b/c this year, for the first time in I don't know how long, I have absolutely NOTHING planned to do. Oh well. I only usually enjoy it b/c we get to party. I even got to drink last year! We had a kick-ass party at our house! This year, Trey has to work, so no luck, eh?
I know I shouldn't be worrying about so much stuff, but really, have you ever just tried to stop worrying about stuff that's important in your life? Not the easiest thing to do. Oh, and btw, I know everything's alright now, but I put a prayer request in at church today for you guys. I figured that you never can be too safe, and what better than a bunch of strangers in South Carolina praying for your well-being! It asked if I wanted the pastor to stop by to see you, I thought it best to put NO. I'd really have to up my tithing if I wanted him to go up and see you guys! -
See, this is exactly what I mean! You spend so much time caring for everyone else!
You know, sometimes it's ok to be selfish! People will understand! If they don't then they aren't worth it!
And it's also OK to say you can only handle so much in your life. It's way to easy to let the bad things in life bog you down.
After all, we all have goals but it's the journey in reaching those goals when actually happens. Try to love every minute of it...especially when it's not easy!
These are the experiences that will continue to shape and colour your future, your memories and the history you share with your children and grandchildren. It would be pretty boring if it was always easy.
Look at each of these challenges with the passion and zest for life that you've proven yourself to have and the convinction of knowing it's all surmountable.
Throughout all of the panic that this week brought Karla and I, through all of the fear and tears and nausea I knew that ultimately everything would be ok and one day, I'd look back and be amazed at how upsetting it all was.
Oh Christi
You poor thing! It sounds like it’s just been one thing after another for you. Have you heard the saying for every three steps forward that you take, you take another two steps backwards (or something like that).You’re thinking and hoping things are going well, you’re doing everything in your power to help keep your life on track, and them WHAM, life throws you a cosmic 2x4 right between the eyes with enough force to knock you back to almost where you started.
I wish I knew of some magic words of wisdom that could make you feel better, but all I can offer is that you’re a wonderful person and a woman with conviction. Your confidence and beliefs will help pull you through. Combine that with the love and support of your family and friends are you are already ahead of the game. Your spirit and faith and the support of your family and friends already make you a very prosperous person. You are equipped with the things necessary to help guide and pull you though any rough times that lie ahead.
I know this saying must be sounding so old, but I really truly do believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it’s not easy to understand why life is making us go through the things we have to go through, but it’s all a part of our path of self discovery and growth. I find knowing this helps me deal with issues when they come up (good and bad ones), and I try and evaluate and understand what life lesson I am supposed to learn them (and sometimes, I never do understand the lessons learned until years later when I realize that if it hadn’t been for an incident I dealt with in the past, I wouldn’t have been as emotionally strong or know the things I know to deal with the issues of today).
Ps. This is your blog, and your life! Feel free to air your dirty laundry any day. Its not good to keep things bottled up inside!
Pss. To change your profile photo, log into blogger. In the top right hand corner there is a link called “Edit Profile”. In there you can paste a link to the file you want.
Psss. I noticed that the Disney photo is causing your blogger template to push the side bar thing to the bottom of the page. If you are feeling adventurous, you can go in and edit the HTML for that picture. There is an image tag that starts with “img src = …”
After the border=”0” you can add:
Height=”155” width=”400”
That should return your blog template back to normal.