So I was reading my library book today, The Happiest Toddler on the Block, and it said some stuff about how to speak Toddler-ese. Has anyone ever heard of this? It sounded kinda silly to me. I mean, he said that you have to figure out what is wrong with your toddler when he is upset, which I fully agree with, as opposed to just saying it will be okay or what-not. He also said your facial expression is just as important as what you say, if not more. I can attest to that, as I have often had to stifle a laugh in order to reprimand TJ for something he's doing wrong (yet it's so cute!), but unfortunately too late. He can see my smile, and then proceeds to continue to do wrong. I have been working on that, and feel I'm doing much better. Then he started talking about how you should speak to an upset toddler. He said you should speak to them on their level. Okay, I got that, good idea. Plus, it should be in their language. Yep, don't use big words or long phrases, as that will just confuse them and upset them more, can't agree more. Then he said, you should say what they are thinking. I thought I got this, but no. For instance (and this is the best way I can think of saying this), if TJ was made b/c I wouldn't go outside, I would say, "TJ's mad, mad, MAD! He wants to go out, out, OUT!" I should continue to repeat phrases such as this, with the same intensity of feeling as he does, until he sees that I understand what he wants, and calms down. Then, we can calmly resolve the problem, w/o a lecture. To me, it seems silly in a way. But it kinda makes sense. What do you think? Anyway, I tried it later when TJ got upset about something, and guess what...It worked! It was very exciting, but definitely something that will take practice.
I also read about reverse psychology, which I have kinda already been using. I had fun with it tonight, though, while TJ was, as usual, refusing to eat anything for dinner. He had eaten about two bites of the dinner he explicitly asked for, and wanted to get down. I said, "Fine, but don't you eat that hot dog." A big grin (yes, a mischevious one) crossed his face, then pop! a whole slice of hot dog into his mouth. I did that until the entire hot dog was gone. Then we moved on to his grapes. "TJ, now don't you eat those grapes! I'll have to tickle you!" Pop! Grapes gone! He even ate most of his corn--he couldn't get it in fast enough to do what I told him not to! Of course I had to laugh about it, and hey, he finally ate something. It just seems so messed-up though, doesn't it? It's a little freaky to me how much it works.
Next I think I'll try it on Trey..."Don't take out that trash!"
Okay, I guess that's enough for one day. I hope you all have a great day, and I'll see you tomorrow!
My ranting and raving, and hopefully your reading!
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Kids are so great!
posted by Christi at 11:37 PM
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6 Comments:
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I dunno. I used to have temper tantrums like that all the time when I was little, and I surely didn't have a problem with talking! I used to beat my head on the floor, while kicking the wall. My mom even took a pic of me doing it one time! I actually did it until I was a teenager (although VERY rarely, and not quite as bad). When I would get really upset, I would go and hit my head against the wall. And here I wonder why I have such problems with headaches!
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I am just about done reading my book by the same author (The Happiest Baby on the Block).
I like this author, but some of the stuff he’s said in the happiest baby seems out of this world. He talks about how the first three months are essentially like a fourth trimester, and how you use the five “S”s to comfort you baby and create an envrionment similar to that of your womb (Swaddling, Side Position, Shhhing, Swinging, and Sucking). He makes a lot of sense with most of what he says in this book but some of the stuff is just wack! I mean…he actually suggested ducktaping your baby in a swaddle if they are extra squirmy to make sure the blanket stays put! Umm…no thanks!
I like where you’re going with the reverse psychology idea! I might try the “don’t even think about vacuuming” on Mark and see where that gets me!
I’ll have to get my copy of the Happiest Toddler in a couple years too! :) -
I've never heard of this author or his ideas. I like the fourth trimester idea. I was a big fan of Dr. Sears for the first couple years. I followed a lot of his recommendations creating that womblike atmosphere in the beginning with a baby sling. I loved my sling. I could do so much more independently than with a stroller. I could hold her all the time, yet my hands were free to do something else. I got a Maya Wrap with a long tail, so I could be walking in public and breastfeeding at the same time and nobody would know. Alison was a very happy baby because of it. People were always saying that she never cried, which wasn't exactly true, but it seemed that way sometimes. Also, because she slept next to me in the beginning, breastfeeding whenever she wanted to in the night while I slept through it, I actually got to sleep all night from the very beginning.
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At 3:47 AM,
john_m_burt
Sounds interesting. I wonder how that would work in public, hehe. I would feel really silly doing that, but I guess if it works, great. I sure am glad I'm past that stage. Alison and I can communicate on a fairly sophisticated level. I do remember how frustrating those temper tantrums were, especially for Andrew. He would get so mad that he'd find a hard thing like the kitchen floor and bang his head on on it. I suspect it was because he was slow to talk, and that frustrated him. He didn't start stringing 2 word together until he was 2 1/2.