So I see that many are doing the whole year in review things. I had a pretty exhausting and frustrating year, one, to be honest, that I don't care to rehash. A couple of cool things that happened: EVERYTHING that TJ did, TJ got baptized, and well, that's all I can think of right now. So, I thought I might try to figure out what I would like for the new year...

First, I would really like to sell my house, and for Trey to get his promotion. That would ROCK! Getting these two things done would take me to my next big goal, which is quitting my job, which is a terrible place for me to work. Then I would be able to stay at home with TJ and his new sibling in June and be the mom I really want to be. I think accomplishing all of these goals would greatly improve our lives. It couldn't possibly make me love my husband and children any more, but I certainly could show it better. Another great big goal I would like to attain, is to have a healthy baby in June. I am so excited to go to the doctor on Jan. 18th to find out what it is. So I guess another goal is to find out what it is. TJ will be 2 on Friday of next week, so I really am excited about that. I am not going to have his birthday party until March, when it is warmer, so hopefully that will go well. I would also like to get rid of some of our debt if we ever sell the house, and also lose some weight after the baby is born. Perhaps I should make that a 2006 goal, though! I would also like to become more active in the church, and I think I would like to make at least one new friend that I can really hang out with, not just an acquaintance. I feel like I don't have too much that I want to get done this year. Of course, this will all change, and really, those are some pretty big goals.

Okay, this was a sad post, but I felt like I had to do something for the new year as well. Do you guys have any big goals for the coming year that you would really like to see happen? Oh, and if you could please read my last post, as I really want some input on it, I would appreciate it. Have a happy new year, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Karla's post got me thinking about names for the baby. Here are some ideas I have so far:

For a girl, I've pretty much set my mind on this:

Jaimeson Taryn Pitchford

Not sure how to spell the first name yet. They all look a little weird to me. I like the ring of it, though.

For a boy, I want to use my grandad's last name, and something else Irish/Celtic:

Braxton Edan Pitchford
Braxton Kyle Pitchford
Braxton Sloane Pitchford
Braxton Dilon Pitchford
Braxton Maddox Pitchford
Braxton Flyn Pitchford
Cody Braxton Pitchford
Braxton Evan Pitchford
Braxton Abbott Pitchford
Braxton Graham Pitchford
Braxton Hayden Pitchford
Braxton Ian Pitchford
Braxton Jayden Pitchford

Okay, now that I look at my girl name in writing, I don't like Jaimeson so much. Gotta think of a new girl name:

Kelsey Taryn Pitchford
Kallie Taryn Pitchford
Kassidy Taryn Pitchford
Darcy Taryn Pitchford
Taryn Reese Pitchford
Taryn Shea Pitchford
Bailey Taryn Pitchford

Okay, I guess this list is long enough. I don't even know what the baby is yet! Tell me what you think. Any that you like, really don't like? Have at it. I need your help.

It's Wednesday...and my vacation is growing shorter! PLEASE, SOMEBODY, STOP TIME!!!!!!!! I don't want to go back to work! It's cruel and unusual punishment. I think I'm supposed to have been away so long that I'm excited to go back. Not true. That will not happen. Somebody help!

So, anyway, we had an exciting day today! TJ and I met Marie and her cheerin' at the playground today. We stayed for an hour and a half, and TJ played his butt off! It was somewhat warm outside, but all the kids and parents had jackets on, so I put one on TJ so I didn't get those "looks" of disapproval from all the other moms. He didn't seem to care. However, I could tell he must have been sweating, b/c when he got home, he smelled like a dog! It was pretty nasty. He had so much fun, though.

We went to Sticky Fingers for dinner tonight. Sitting at the table next to us was a guy named Jeremy Richey that I went to high school with. He was in the Air Force, but now he lives in Ladson. It was nice enough to see him, I guess, but a little awkward. I honestly hate running into people that I knew from a while ago, but didn't really hang out with. Always awkward, and I just want it to end. I guess it was nice to see him, though. He looked all grown-up.

Tonight we went out and met Ashley, Will and Leah at Chick-Fil-A for a "playdate". It was so much fun! First the kids played in the playset, of course, with Ashley and me, as they couldn't get up themselves. Then Will finished eating and joined us. It was fun! We took a break for a while and Ashley got them ice cream cones. I would have thought that I would have freaked out more watching not one, but two, toddlers attempt to "eat" ice cream cones. They made such a mess! I discovered just how many times you can clean off an ice cream cone from the floor and continue to eat it before you have to give up on it! That was much more fun that I thought it would have been! As we were leaving, I told Ashley and Will that they could tell all their friends that they went out tonight, and leave out some of the details so they could look cool. Tell their friends about the "party" they were at, where they trashed the joint, spilled their drinks everywhere, were crawling around on their knees, and all that fun stuff. Sounds like a pretty kick-ass party, eh?

Speaking of how our lives change, today has really gotten me thinking. While we were out, Ashley saw some teenagers come in, in a large group, of course. One did something strange, and she said, "Teenagers are so wierd." It was like a big lead ball hitting me. It occured to me just how old I am, that I am now having conversations about teenagers being wierd. I had it in my mind that I was just recently a teenager myself! No way, though, my life is SOOOO different now, it's not even close to funny. Talk about feeling old. Then, on Kirsten's site today, she talked about what she was like ten years ago. I wrote back about myself, and realized that I have changed, a LOT, in ten years. She got me thinking about what my life will be like in ten more years. I'm scared. What's funny is that I still like a lot of the same things I did ten years ago, but I just can't do the same stuff. I would like to, but my life doesn't allow for such behavior anymore. I mean, I know I have a kid and all, but I feel like I have just dropped everything about me that's me. I think that's another reason I don't like the whole work world. It doesn't allow me to be me. I don't like acting like the person I should be everyday. I want to be what I am. Okay, I've gone off, but anyway, do you ever think back to how you were, or how you will be? It's kinda scary. I will say, though, I wouldn't give up what I have for all the money or old me in the world, even though I feel like sometimes now my problems are much worse than then! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life! I think, as I figure Traci must be feeling right now, that I need to make some changes...Ever feel that way?

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I hope you have an awesome and fun day! I'm going home tomorrow, so see you from home next time!

Life is interesting, isn't it? I went to the playground with my friend Julia today. Well, to be more precise, Julia, her two kids, a friend's kid, TJ, and me. I felt wierd when we left, b/c it seemed kinda strained, our whole quasi-conversation while we were there. I thought maybe she didn't want to talk to me. I felt bad, b/c I gave her a present for her kids, even though she told me not to. I couldn't help it, though. I REALLY wanted to get it, and I really wanted someone to have it whom I thought would enjoy it and really learn from it. Her kids were perfect for the job! I'm sorry Julia, I hope you're not too mad at me. Anyway, so I was a little rattled when we left. Then, I went to my friend Ashley's house this evening, who talks as much as I do, but also has a kid who's a month younger than TJ. Leah, her daughter, spent the most part of our time there flopping around on the floor trying to get our attention (mainly mine), and the rest of the time was spent trying to get TJ and Leah to get along and share toys. So our conversation was somewhat fractured and strained. Then it hit me, as I was leaving. I don't think it had anything to do with me or them (or so I hope!)! WE HAVE KIDS! Yes, that's right! Julia and I spent most of the time at the playground trying to watch our kids and make sure they were all in check and not killing ourselves. Of course we couldn't carry on a normal conversation. Same with Ashley. This parent thing is SOOOO different! I feel very fortunate to have a handful of very good friends that I have had since high school, and whom have always been there for me, even if we don't get to see each other enough. Now, with the exception of one, we all have kids (or kid), and our lives have drastically changed. It's funny, b/c before I had TJ, I kinda felt like I had nothing in common anymore with Julia, and didn't feel right talking to her. Now I love to, b/c I can ask her for advice, and you know there's never an end to what we could talk about! Ashley and I are living almost the same lives now, with children the same age, and our stories are amusing to each other (and probably few else!). Marie doesn't have to be asked for advice, as she loves to give it. She's in b/t Julia and me as far as her kids ages go, and some of the stuff Julia can't remember she helps me with. Plus, she's great for hand-me-downs (yes, that's terrible!)! My one best friend, Mike, does not have kids yet. It is so wierd, b/c he still lives a party life in my opinion. He can come and go as he pleases, and he does. I really don't have much to talk to him about anymore. It seems like his issues are dramatic like a soap opera now. It's fun, though, b/c I still love him to death, and he loves me, and his stories are as fun to hear as watching a reality show (which I am always hooked on!). How blessed I am. I'm sad that I don't live in town anymore to take advantage of all of the great friends I have, but I know they will always be there, even if we do get a little busy and sidetracked! Anyway, I think it's fun that our lives have all changed. I felt lost for a while there, and now I fit in again! Now if only I could find a friend in the town in which I live! Ummm, hey, could one of you friends I have move to Columbia, please!?

Well, that's all for now. I hope that Susan is having a safe trip to New York. I hope that Julia gets some well-earned and needed sleep tonight, complete with sweet dreams of great memories. I hope that Traci finds her dream man. I hope that Jim gets the car he wants, and that the one his daughter wrecked is totalled. I hope that B$ makes the right decision about moving home. I hope that Karla and her hubby are having a great time wherever they are (as I see they must be gone--no posts!). I hope that Trey knows that I love him more than life itself. And I hope that you all have a fantastic day, and I'll see you tomorrow!

I'm tired, but I feel obligated to post.

Today I did lots of shopping with my mom. If you know my mom, then you know that we spent a LONG time in each store, and she left with TONS of stuff that she didn't pay ANYTHING for. I, on the other hand, found decent deals, and was bored after the first five minutes. TJ was also bored, and acted like a little jerk most of the day. I think he is getting sick or something, and I know he was very tired for the most part of the day. One cool thing was that my sister Susan met us for dinner at Sticky Fingers. I got to hang out with her for a little while before I leave and she leaves for New York tomorrow (Hope you have a great time!). Plus, she and my brother, Jimmy, got to see each other for the first time in about a year and a half or so. They are both really busy with their own lives, so that was nice. She even got to meet his g/f, Kara. How nice!

I had some time to think yesterday on my drive to Summerville (TJ was asleep, and traffic was mostly stopped b/c of a wreck or something). I decided that I was not left feeling like I had done anything this year for Christmas. I mean, I got TJ a gift I really thought he would like, and he did. I got some gifts I think maybe someone liked, but it didn't make me feel good. No one really NEEDED anything I gave them. I was too slack to donate to any of the worthy causes I could have. It's not that I didn't want to, I was just always too late with the money. So I decided that I think what I will do next year instead of buying anything is figure out how much I can spend on each person, pool that money together, and pick a charity and donate it to the charity. I'm thinking of the VH-1 Save the Music fund, or whatever it is called. I will have to research first. Also, I will ask anyone who may plan to get me anything to either donate what they would have spent to charity, or give it to me in cash to donate myself. That would make me feel better, and it would help others. Of course, I will still have to buy for the little kids, but that's it. I will also try to volunteer and help out more in person. I hope that by next year I will have more time to do such stuff. I just really think that giving gifts sometimes just gives you more stuff to clutter your house, and that money can be better spent. If it's something you need, then maybe it's worthwhile, but please tell me how many of you NEED a tin can full of hard candies or a commemorative coin. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Well, that's my thought for the day. I am tired, so I am off to sleepland now. I hope you have a refreshing and fun day, and I will see you tomorrow!

PS-If you get a chance, feel free to check out the new album, Christmas 2004, on my Fun Pics links. Fun stuff!

June Cleaver: You are June Cleaver from Leave it
to Beaver. You might not wear pearls while you
do your housework, but you probably like the
idea of being a traditional type of mom who
bakes special treats for your kids when they
come home from school and who sits down to
dinner with them at night. You think of
thoughtful ways to show your kids you care
like making elaborate Halloween costumes or
whipping up chicken noodle soup for sore
throats and you work hard to stay involved in
their lives.

Of course, you teach your children right from wrong
and always hold them to strict standards,
though you may prefer that someone else in the
household do the actual disciplining. That's
just because you are so devoted to your little
ones, you can't stand the thought of missing
out on any time with them behind angry doors or
pouting faces.


Which TV Mom are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahhh, finally, Christmas has passed. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of our extended Christmas, and it was a very exciting time for me, but I am just glad to be done with it. Now until next year.

So yesterday and the day before we went to Trey's parents' house. We didn't do much on Friday, aside from spend time with his family. I was kinda bugged a little when Trey asked me why we were going on Friday. I said, "Uhhh, I figured you might like to spend some time with your family before we had our hectic Christmas day." "Oh," he said. Alrighty then, excuse me for assuming he liked his family. We did watch A Christmas Story, though, and that alone was well worth the trip.

Friday was long and busy. I don't really remember doing much of anything, as breakfast was made for me when I woke up, and Gayle wouldn't let me help her do any of the cooking. Come to think of it, I didn't do much of anything except hang out, but man was it exhausting! Christmas dinner was nice. The food was all good. I had rice pudding for the first time. Trey loves it. Not for me. I sat at the kiddy table in the kitchen with Traci, her sis-in-law Candy, and Katie. Katie was the only "kiddy", although I do believe the rest of us probably fit just fine. I had a feeling Traci chose the kiddy table so as not to have to sit at the big boy table with J and Todd, and I kinda did, too. I was worried about how yesterday would go, as J and Todd were there, and there have been recent "family disruptions" b/t them and everyone else. It went well, though. Everyone was very civil, and you wouldn't have known that just months before Todd disowned his sister, whom he sat next to on the couch and chatted with yesterday. That was nice. I even did my best not to interpret everything that came out of J's mouth to mean that she was stupid, although it was hard not to. Trey told a very bad joke, and she tried to explain it to me, thus losing me more, and confusing everyone in the room with trying to figure out what in the world she was talking about. Anyway, no fights broke out, and everyone had a nice time, I guess (I didn't notice any uncomfortability--is that a word?).

So after dinner we opened presents. Everyone was way too full to think of dessert yet. It started out the way Bob likes it, with one present opened at a time, so everyone can see it and who it came from. Then Katie, who played Santa, was decidedly going too slow, and not rationing correctly, so Trey booted her and took over. He shoveled everything out and the mad rush was on. I had been taking pics of the kids as they opened their gifts (only the kids got gifts this year--a group decision), but once that happened, I lost track of it all. I think I kinda caught Gayle opening her ring Bob got her, which she didn't much care for, and I loved. This is strange, even to me, since I really can't stand jewelry. TJ got the Fisher-Price Learn Through Music that I wanted him to have, and he loved it. Gayle got KK a LeapFrog Little LeapPad, and I thought it was funny, b/c she wouldn't stop trying to play TJ's game. I tried to play with hers to get her to want to come play, but she could care less. I have to admit that I didn't much care for the LeapPad, as I told Gayle in my dissertation on why I wanted the Fisher-Price one, b/c it's a pain in the butt to get it to work. I'm not sure that J could figure it out enough that KK will ever get to use it! Other than that, the kids all got some clothes and video games, and we got Bob and Gayle a DVD player and some old shows to watch on it. It was great fun to watch all of them open their presents (until I lost track and they were suddenly all opened!). I loved spending time with family, even those I barely knew, and those I don't much care for.

So, even though I'm super glad Christmas is over with for the year, I'm really glad it comes each year. I really don't look forward to buying presents and all that crap. However, I really like spending time with family, as I don't get to as often as I would like, and it is fun to watch the little people get stuff (since it's okay to be greedy and self-interested in your little years). I feel good b/c all of the things I wanted for TJ, he got, and he loves every one of the things he got. It makes me feel like I really know my kid and his likes (now, that is!). He has been playing up a storm for the last few days, and could really care less that I'm around. It's so cute, and a little scary, that he will take his toys into his room now, and just play. Sometimes he won't even let us come in. He says, "I'm going to my room to play now," and that's our sign to back off and leave him alone. For those with older children already, I know you're laughing at me and my bewilderment at my child growing up so fast. For those with younger, or some on the way, just wait. It's the most wonderful and scariest thing in the world. TJ just will not stop growing up, as much as I beg him not to. What a fun life!

Well, I must go now, as I have to pack to go to my mom's for a few days. I hope you have a restful and charmed day, and I will see you tomorrow.

Today was TJ's second Christmas of the year. And was it ever a doozy! He got so much stuff that our car, a little SUV, was so stuffed that we had to put a car radio b/t us in the front seat, and I couldn't even see TJ in the back! I'm going back to my mom's to visit next week, and I told Trey that he didn't have to bring it all, but undoubtedly at some point I told him it couldn't possibly all fit, and that became his challenge in life! TJ got lots of little fun things such as books and play cars. Plus, he got a really cool drum and instrument set from my brother and his g/f. He also got an Aquadoodle that must be cool, b/c Bo had to search everywhere for it and it's sold out EVERYWHERE. I think TJ will like it. My grandma got him a Step 2 wagon that I wanted, that has seats and cup holders and storage, how cool! It didn't have the wheels on it yet, and TJ climbed in and started rocking it back and forth. He thought it was a cozy see-saw! I feel so bad that I'll have to put the wheels on one day! Lastly, Bo, in his quest to make me crazy, bought TJ another MegaBloks set, this time a giant fire truck full of blocks. I'm sure TJ will love it, as he loves to build things, then destroy them! Trey also got a car radio. Now maybe he will be able to listen to more than the one AM station he is able to pick up on his near-dead radio he has! I might actually might start riding in his car again! My mom got me some really cool stainless steel coasters. I like them! I'm kinda mad, b/c my brother and I vowed that we wouldn't get each other anything, and then he went and got us a gift certificate and a wine rack (a rather cool one, at that!). While we were eating before, he kept asking me these dumb questions about liking the restaurant he works at (I'm not overly fond of it, myself), and if I drink wine. I should have figured it out. Now I have to go shopping and get him something. Gotta love my brother. I know his g/f got the presents for us, but you know that when I asked him what he wanted (she said, "Don't get us anything."), he said, "Uhhh, a hat." I love him! Oh, and TJ also got a race-car bed and a cool Spiderman chair! We are now being forced to move to a bigger apt., as Christmas has forced us to fill the one we have! I must remember that this is not what Christmas is about, but it still is fun! Especially when your child has so much fun! TJ, after we opened the first gift, was like, "Open it! Open it!" It didn't really matter if it was his or not. I did screw up, though. I accidentally forgot to bring Bo's present. They gave me grief the whole time and made me feel bad (all in good fun, mind you). Bo kept saying all he wanted was a forty. So, after we left, we went and got him a forty of King Cobra and some Funyuns. He, I'm sure, was so thrilled to receive his gift! Fear not, he'll get his real present when I go back next week!

Oh, and my grandma has these fans w/remote controls. TJ LOVES to play with them. It was hot in her house, so we went to turn on the fans. Each one has its own remote, and it must be facing the fan to work. Grandma had the one to the far end of the room, but was trying to turn on the light to the one above us. Trey had the one to that fan, hidden behind a box. Grandma kept trying to turn the light on, and it would turn off. She was freaking out trying to figure out what was wrong with it. Meanwhile, the rest of the room was dying laughing. It was cruel. I'm sure Trey has a special place down under waiting for him for such cruelty! I told Grandma later, and Trey said he thinks it pissed her off. It was kinda funny, though. I figured if I didn't tell her, she'd pay someone a million dollars to come out to tell her that nothing was wrong. Isn't Christmas great!

Alright, I may not be back till later. Going to prepare tomorrow for Christmas #3 as we go to Nana and Grandaddy's house. It promises to be a big one for TJ, too. I tell you, this is work trying to get all these presents situated for him! I think I'm going to purge some of his stuff, so if anyone needs anything, let me know. I hope if I don't come back before then, that everyone has a FANTASTIC and BLESSED Christmas. I hope you enjoy special times with family and friends, and that you have great stories to tell when you get back! See you when I see you!

I was excited about today. I really and truly thought that I would be hearing good news. All signs pointed to it. I was wrong. To sum up why I am so upset, I'll say this: Trey has been working at his restaurant for over five years now. He was on the fast track to upper management, with them begging him to become a manager to begin with, from the start. He messed up about three years ago when he asked to be transferred to Charlotte. His boss told him that it would screw him up, and he said, "Fine." While he was in Charlotte, he did such a good job that it was rumored that he would become Senior Mgr. (2nd in charge). They needed one, and instead decided to transfer someone else in. Okay, strike one. Then they transferred him to Columbia, where he is now. Same thing. He wowed them, and the rumor began that he was next in line. This time, they did the same thing, but worse. They transferred in someone that Trey originally trained, who SUCKED! Since he has been there Trey has been doing his job, since he can't handle it, while he has been getting paid for nothing. Again, it was rumored, and this time by the higher-ups, that Trey would become a Senior Mgr. by January. As a matter of fact, he was told that it would happen by Jan. So, a couple of weeks ago when the sucky guy walked out and never came back, I was just waiting to hear the good news. So yesterday the big guy was supposed to come, and I assumed, let everyone know Trey was moving up. As usual, I was wrong. Instead, they are going to sit down with him in Jan. and tell him all the things he needs to do to get everyone else to do their jobs (?????). They have decided, since the sucky guy sucked so much, that they will reevaluate what it means to be a Senior Mgr. there. I am SO PISSED, b/c we are at a point where he has no choice but to put up with it unless some miraculous super-job comes out of nowhere. I have half a mind to go talk to his manager myself. This is ridiculous! I'm sorry you had to read that, but I am livid!

On a lighter note, I FINALLY got TJ's hair cut today. He looks like such a little gentleman now. He did so good, as he did last time. His hair stylist even gave him a kiss! He still has some of the lipstick left on his cheek! All the old ladies at the place were going on and on about how good he was and how cute he is. It didn't hurt that there was a 4 year old at the back screaming his head off! I think TJ remembered that he was going to get a sucker, so he was super cool. Now if I can just remember to go get it cut again before he looks like a gremlin again!

I'll try to post tomorrow, but I make no promises. I'm going to my mom's to have Christmas #2. I cleaned up around the house today to prepare for all of the stuff TJ's going to get this week. Hopefully there will be space for it all! I hope you have a fantastic day, and I'll see you soon!

I'm skating! 

A Rudolph FULL of CANDY! Who could ask for more! And it sings my favorite song! This must be heaven! 

He's almost figured out the wrapping paper! 

Cooking away! 

Today TJ had Christmas 2004, Number 1. Yes, that's right, number 1. He will have 3 this year. I am a little excited, to tell the truth. I mean, I didn't want to buy presents, and I don't really care to get any, but I am excited to see what TJ gets, and for him to have fun. We had ours today, as Trey has to work every other available day, or we will be gone. We gave TJ a kitchen set and some play food, which he loves. It has a light, lots of parts that make sounds, and even a phone. What could be better! Trey bawked at the idea of giving our son a kitchen ("Look, there's even a girl on the box"), but I thought it was perfect. I mean, that's what his daddy does all day at work, and it's good for his imagination. Already, he's baked his milk in the oven, brought us numerous bowls of Corn Flakes, eaten the french fries, and boiled water. I would highly recommend a kitchen play set to any young child, boy or girl. Plus, this one doesn't look very "girly". We also got him skates and some puzzles. He tried on the skates for a few minutes, but I quickly learned that the kitchen floor is not the place to start your child with skates. He tried it for a while, but then opted to go back to the kitchen. I think he will have lots of fun on his skates, we'll just have to work up to it! He likes the puzzles, too, and we've already put two of them together. Of course, I also got him a stocking full of candy and little matchbox cars. He was very excited about the candy, and already ate an entire little box of Tic-tacs. We also played with the cars for a while, driving them all over Daddy's back and head! I'm so glad he likes his presents, and I can tell he's excited! Two more to go! Christmas is so much fun with kids, I could care less about me!

So, I went to the dr. today. I am at 15 weeks right now, and looking good. I am happy to say that in the whole time I've been going to the dr. since I got pregnant, I have only gained 2 pounds. Yaa for me! Of course, that could be wrong, as I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that must have weighed at least 2 pounds before I went to the dr. Yeah, that's it...Anyway, we heard the baby's heartbeat, and TJ got to hear it. He had a very stunned and confused look on his face, mixed with serious listening. He was a very good little gentleman the whole time. When I went to pay and set my next appt., he couldn't stop talking about the baby, and how it went night-night until it sees Daddy. I don't think he gets it yet, but he does realize that something's going on, and there's a baby somewhere that he can't see. I wonder what he'll be like as a big brother. I'm sure he'll be great, mixed with complete jerk! How fun! I keep trying to picture him holding the little newborn baby. What a Kodak moment! They asked me if I wanted to do the test where you can find out if they baby has spinabifida or down syndrome, or any of that stuff, and I said "No thanks. Wouldn't want to know even if I could." I was trying to think of reasons you would want to know if your baby was going to have problems, and all I could think of was if it ran in the family, or there were some specific reason it was likely to happen (ie-mated with your dad or brother, older woman). I couldn't imagine knowing that my kid was going to come out with some kind of disability. That would just worry me to death and ruin the rest of my pregnancy. It would be like knowing when you are going to die. I mean, yes, it would be good to be prepared, but really, can you ever be prepared? What do you think? Is there anyone who would want to know this? Why? I'm interested to know.

Okay, well, I have to go now. I think we are going to venture out and try to shop now. Why? Who the hell knows! Oh, I almost forgot to tell you! I am scheduled for my ultrasound on Jan. 18th, so if you could please pray that I get to find out what the baby is, I'd appreciate it. I'm not one that does well with suspense or surprises, so I need to know. Also, if you comment, put in your two cents on what you want it to be, or think it will be. Okay, have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow!

I'm on round two of watching Harry Potter and the Scorcerer's Stone today, that's twice in a row! Why? I have NO idea. I haven't tired of it yet, though, so I'll keep watching until I do.

I am down to one box of stuff that needs to be dealt with, and some minor rearranging, and the new apt. is organized. Hooray! It has been driving me CRAZY with everything just being everywhere and in the way. I still think we need to get rid of some stuff, as I'm running quickly out of spots to put things!

Okay, so while I was wrapping presents today, and TJ was napping, I watched House of Sand and Fog. I read the book (it's in the Oprah book club) a few years back, and I liked it. I remember not liking the end, but I couldn't ever remember why. So, when I saw that there was a movie, I figured I'd check it out. It was not a movie that most husbands would enjoy, being as there was no action, and it was somewhat slow. However, I would put it above that of a Lifetime movie. It was about a girl whose house gets taken from her by the county for unpaid taxes, and while she's trying to figure it out, it gets auctioned to a family in which the father wants to resell it for more and make some money. You would think this would be boring, but it's not. Now, I know that I am at a heightened sense of feelings these days, being prego and all, but this is why I highly recommend this movie: I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried at the end. No, that's not correct, I sobbed. I won't tell what happened, but for those of you that read the whole "Susan kid dilemma" about losing a kid, this REALLY made me think about it. Julia, if you cry at the mere thought (which I do, too), then you will sob as I did if you see this movie. As a matter of fact, I'm just thinking about it, and my eyes are watering. If I were to tell you what happened, I would have to leave for crying so hard. This movie really moved me, and I would say that if you want to be emotionally affected, do rent this movie. Needless to say, I now remember why I didn't like the end of the book. Not only did it end not the way I wanted, but also not in the way I would have ever suspected. Good movie.

Well, that's about my day. I guess I'll talk to you again tomorrow. Until then, I hope your day has something wonderful and new!

I just got home from the in-laws' house, and I have to say it seems like it was a really long day, even though I really didn't do anything. It started slow, and eventually we got moving. Once we did, I went to turn in the keys to the old apt., but they were gone for an hour. So I went to the ghetto mall near it and found a way to waste an hour. I took TJ to get his pic taken with Santa, and it's horrible. I'm so excited! He was all about going to see Santa, and as we waited our couple of minutes while the girl in front of us got her pic taken, we talked about going to see Santa, "Gonna go see Santa..." Then it was our turn. I walked with him over to Santa, and about five feet away, he pulled back, and I knew it wasn't going to be good. I managed to get him on his lap, and the girl managed to get a pic, right before he busted out crying and screaming. I think he thought I was leaving him, as I walked over to the camera to get out of the picture. In the picture he is trying to wiggle away from Santa, and has this really disgruntled look on his face, and his belly is hanging out where Santa was trying desperately to hang on. Those Santas are blessed and wonderful men! I could have passed on the pics, except I knew this was my only chance, and I can't wait to pick on him about them later when he can be embarrassed!

So, after we turned in the keys we went to Lancaster, just to get my wrapping paper and Christmas stuff. It took two minutes to get it out, and it didn't seem right to drive an hour one way just for two minutes. So we went to Nana and Grandaddy's house, and waited for Nana to get back from shopping. Bob said she would be right home, this was at four. Finally, at 6ish, we hunted down a number to reach her at, and found out that she would be home within the hour. I was ready to leave, but that wasn't happening! Anyway, TJ got to help her decorate the Christmas tree, and that was cool. This story is stupid.

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head right now. Have you ever wondered exactly what your purpose in life is? I know that I want to change people's lives for the better, but how? I don't like what I do, and I don't really feel like I change lives, at least not in the way I would like to. I mean, I'm sure I've touched at least one, as I do have easy means to do so if I do it right, being a teacher of emotionally troubled souls and all. I just don't feel like this is my calling anymore. I tried to figure it out on my drive home, and so far all I can come up with is that my purpose is to deeply affect the lives of my children. I am so scared of the world anymore, and for good reason. I'm not alone, read Susan's recent post. I really want my children to have the best lives they can have, and I know that I must be more involved than my present situation will allow me to be. I don't know if that is enough, though. I feel like I need to do more. I know that I must do something that will make me feel like I'm making a difference to someone, and where I feel appreciated in some way. It doesn't seem like much, but to me it is HUGE. I'm really stuck. Anybody else ever have these kind of thoughts?

Okay, well, I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to you later. I hope you have a blessed and inspiring day, and I'll see you tomorrow.

If you read this blog, please go to the links and go to Susan's Page and read her new post. I know most of you have or are having kids, and you could help her in her dilemma.

There is now one day of school left. I feel as though I may need to have some sort of lesson plan prepared for tomorrow, but it doesn't seem to make me want to think one up. Perhaps something will hit me before the students show up tomorrow. If not, oh well. We are supposed to watch a movie in the afternoon, but I doubt she lets us watch one in the morning, too. I do know that there are less teachers going to be there than those that are out. I was told Wednesday by more than a few people that they would be calling in Friday, not to mention those that had already gotten permission to be out. It might be a little scary. Just gotta make it through tomorrow, though, and I'm good.

We got all of our stuff out of the old apt. today. YIPPEE! HOORAY! All I have to do now is turn in the keys. I'm sure that this will not be the end of our dealings with Hamilton Mill, as I'm sure that "No, we're not going to pay a break lease fee," will not suffice for them. Oh well, I'm ready. Also, they had a Christmas drop-in at our new apt. tonight. We went for just a little while. I met a couple of people, one family which had a 1 1/2 year old and a 3 year old. I talked to the mom, who seemed nice. When I mentioned that we should get together sometime, she agreed, but didn't seem to interested. It probably didn't help that I didn't have TJ there with me. I'm pretty sure he would have helped me seal the deal. I met another woman who lives in the 600 bdg., and we talked about the complex. She has been here since September, and she's really impressed with it so far. Me, too.

Alright, I have something on my mind of late. I have had this conversation with the same class a couple of times now in the last couple of weeks. As I would expect (being in the living areas they are, and having very little education), I have a lot of students who hate gay people, as they say. I'm not sure how the conversations have come up, to be honest, but this class is well aware of the fact that my best friend is gay. Somehow we stumbled onto this subject again today, and they started gay-bashing again. Thankfully, this is my favorite class, and this is mostly b/c they are the most reasonable and thoughtful class I have as a whole. I pointed out to them, again, that when I meet someone, I don't think about who they have sex with. In other words, when I meet a straight person, I don't think to myself, "Hmmm, John has sex with women. I'm okay with that. I think I'll be his friend." I judge people based on their personalities, and decide from there if I will get along with them or not. I can understand if you don't agree with what people do in their private time, that you don't care to do it yourself. I, personally, do not want to partake in the sexual actions that gay men or women do, either. However, we don't walk around with "I have sex with men", or "I have sex with women" tattooed on our foreheads. I can not understand why people are so judgemental of others, when what we do in our private time is just that, what we do in our PRIVATE time! I can see where there would be a problem if someone had sex out in public or in my face, but I would have a problem with heterosexuals if they did that, too. I just can't understand how people can blatantly say before even knowing them that they hate all gay people. I can, I guess, as they are speaking from ignorance, and not really thinking about what they're saying. By the end of class, one boy, who's particulary affected by things that make sense (I so love him!), had changed from, "I hate gay people," to "I mean, as long as he didn't hit on me, I wouldn't have a problem with a gay guy." Did I really accomplish anything? Who knows, but at least he changed from using the word "hate", which is so strong, and so wrong. What do you think, though? I mean, I personally have no desire to think about gay sex, and it's not really for me (otherwise, I would be gay). However, I just take offense at people automatically judging a person based on their sexual preference. I think it's hurtful and ignorant. Any thoughts?

Okay, well, that was my soapbox for the day. Hope I didn't ramble on too much. By the way, if you happen to read this, and you watch The OC, please let me know. I LOVE that show, and I desperately need someone to talk to about it. It's too good to go w/o discussion! Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic day, and I'll be back tomorrow with my best thoughts I can give!

I'm so excited! Today we had our Chinese Christmas gift exchange, which was my idea. I was kinda scared that no one would take part, but they did, and it was fun! There were 18 people, and the spending limit was $5. I have to tell you, some of these people really know how to get a great gift for $5 (I think some may have gone over!)! I felt really good b/c I got a little lamp at Walmart and I was really hoping that whoever got it would like it. However, who could have known that six people would fight over it! One woman, who happens to be a very intimidating woman by nature, took it from the first person who got it, and I thought for sure she would keep it. She did, for the first round. Then there was a second round where we got to go around and take people's gifts again. The lamp got taken four times! It was fun stuff! I originally got a glove and hat set that was really cool, and which I really wanted. However, it seems that Ms. Boyd wanted it more, so she took it. I ended up with a pretty cool candy set (yeah, like I really need that!). I really wanted the gloves, though, as it is really cold in the mornings and I'm too lazy to go out and spend five dollars to buy my own! I tell you what, though, it was a vicious room! So much stuff got taken, that I can't remember who ended up with what! I don't think some of the people themselves know what they ended up with! What I thought was really funny was that Leanne mentioned how this was all done in the "Christmas spirit", right before she snatched a gift from someone else! I'm glad we did it, though, and that it was so much fun. I like when my ideas work out, even if it was just a normal old played-out one.

I don't want to complain, but I have to. (Do you like that flow there?) I went out of my way to make Ms. Smith happy the other day and did everything she wanted done. I figured the issue was at rest. So, today, when I got to work and she told me that the students in question were doing better in her class, I thought, "Good, done deal." Nope! During first period she decided to update her list and find more students that she needed stuff on and put that I hadn't done my job, then send that list to my boss again. What's more, before school today, the other resource teacher, one of her friends, told me that she told her that it was just a simple error on my part, and that if she had come to me first, I would have fixed the problem. She went further to remind her that we are a team, and should work as such. Yeah, right! I thought it was funny when she came running to me to let me know about the new list that Ms. Smith had sent out, and how all her talking had apparently done nothing. I tell you, I'm just glad I'm not her "friend". I would hate to have to be nice to her while she is stabbing me in the back (b/c her list also screwed over the other resource teacher, too). I am tired of work consisting primarily of making sure your ass is covered. I thought we were there to teach. I thought wrong.

Oh, and one more funny thing about my day. We were supposed to have an assembly today where the army band came and played Christmas songs for the whole school. Well, apparently someone did not do their job and reserve the chapel like they were supposed to. Soooo, instead, they had the band come into this little room and set up, and play over the intercom. Yes, that's right, they played for us in our rooms. This was the biggest joke I have ever heard of! I laughed out loud when they started playing. The kids all got mad b/c they thought we were going to get to leave class and go to an assembly, which is what we were told. It was a little disappointing for everyone. Had I been that band, I would have been really pissed, and I was pretty embarrassed for us. At lunch today, we all went out for our Christmas luncheon. Doug said something about "we don't stand for ceremony here," or something, and I said, "and we don't leave the classroom for assemblies, either." Well, undoubtedly, the principal was right behind me, and didn't find that to be very amusing. Ha ha! I did!

Well, I guess that's it for now. Just two more days, and sweet freedom! Well, at least for a little while. Please, if you pray, pray for me to survive these two days. I need it a lot. Thanks. I hope you have a totally groovy day, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Well, today was a better day. Sadly, this is b/c there were many MANY teachers out, so they opted to show movies all day. That worked for me, as I pretty much became a babysitter at that point. Of course, what's really disturbing to me is that lately it seems as though once a movie is turned on, a lot of the boys start to feel "randy" or something. I had to keep a close eye on two boys today in my fifth period class, as they kept reaching for their private areas, and you could tell what they were really trying to do. One boy went in the bathroom for quite a while, and I was pretty sure I knew what he was doing. I figured, though, better there than in my face. I really don't want to work in this environment anymore. I thought I could handle it, and I think I can. However, in order to do that, I will have to change and become a person I don't want to be. I don't want to be the bitter and uncaring person I see myself already becoming. I have been told that in order to survive here I must stop caring so much and learn to accept. I think that's what the root of our problems at school are, is that they want us not to care and just to babysit, but there are too many people who do care. And they are fed up. I thought very seriously today about just looking for a new job out of the field. I really wish we could get our house sold.

Well, I really don't have much to say right now. We watched I, Robot tonight. Not Will Smith's best work. It was an okay movie, but a little lacking. I can't really say where or why, just that I felt, well, not a whole lot when the movie ended. You know, usually when you watch a good action movie, you feel a little winded or "Whoa!" at the end. At the end of this I just kinda felt, "uhhhh, okay, soo....." It was entertaining, and the whole robot conspiracy thing kept me watching, but, well, I just don't know. It could be that I really didn't like the way Will Smith looked in the movie. His facial hair wasn't doing it for me. Who knows? If you get the chance, you may want to check this movie out. I would pick Dodgeball over this movie, though.

Okay, well, I'm going to bed now. Wish me luck tomorrow, as well as the rest of the week. We are ALL ready to be done with school for the week! I hope you have a blessed Wednesday, and I'll see you tomorrow!

So, today is Monday, right? Then why is it I'm as tired as if it were Sunday and I had worked 15 hours a day for seven days straight? I mean, I know I had a challenging day at work, but geez!

Speaking of work, if you ever get a chance to work with a bunch of juveniles with special disabilities, don't try to make Christmas cards with them. A big waste of time! Had I let them sit around and decorate pictures of their gang symbols and their gang nicknames, everything would be wonderful. I'm stupid, and I'm going to try another crafty project with them tomorrow, too. So wish me luck, please, I'm gonna need it!

Okay, I have a gripe, and what better place to air it than here. So, I get this email when I get to work today that says that I need to have special reviews for two of my students that are having problems in another teacher's, Ms. Smith's, class. I got it from my big boss, the head of special ed. A special review is an IEP meeting that you hold to review an IEP and make whatever changes need to be made. Now, mind you, this teacher has never once come to me about these so-called problems. She gives everyone a list every now and then that says how they are doing in her class. She had a "U" for Unsatisfactory for them. If anyone out there, teacher or not, can tell me what "unsatisfactory" performance means from class to class, and specifically in hers, please let me know. I have students that perform at an "unsatisfactory" level in my class, and I say that simply b/c I know they can do better. Is that what she thinks it is? So, needless to say, I didn't pay it much attention, b/c to be honest, that sounds like her problem and she needs to figure out how to run her class so that they perform at a "satisfactory" level for her. But, that's not how it goes...Nope, being their special ed teacher, it's, for some strange reason, as if I have no other work to do (might I add, ten times more than regular teachers, and enough that I don't have time to make lists telling other teachers if my students are performing "unsatisfactory" every week!), my responsibility to try to figure out how to make them mold to her teaching. I've come to accept this role as surrogate mother or something, and I have done my best to control students whom I can't control in my class while they're elsewhere. However, although she has had such problems as to label these boys "unsatisfactory", she has never once come to me to see if we can't figure out what's going on and how to fix the problem. Of course, happy Monday, when I get to work today, I see that she has made it a point to tell my boss. Now, our school has MANY problems that we can't get solved b/c of this thing called the "chain of command". We know that Judge Byars, the head of DJJ, would try to solve our problems if he was aware that they existed. However, b/c of the c-o-c, we can't go past our superintendent, Meda Cobb. She doesn't care about our problems, and certainly doesn't want the judge to know them. That would make her look bad. Ms. Smith is all up in anyone's butt that she thinks can help her be a perfect suck-up, so I would assume that she is aware of this policy. So when I received this message this morning, I was a little displeased, to say the least, to see that she did not follow the plan. What's more, I'm sure that if brought out into the open, she would simply say that she was giving my boss the head's up on how the special ed students are doing in her class. Well, that's nice and all, but she is not a special ed teacher, and thus has no reason whatsoever to be reporting progress to my boss. I'm really pissed about this. I asked a couple other teachers, even one of her pretty close friends, what they thought of this, and they thought it was pretty wrong, too. I thought it was funny that her friend said to me that she thought it was messed up that she has enough time to make these lists and keep track of such things, but not enough time to come to me and try to work out a solution to the problem. I wrote Ms. Smith a letter stating that we need to get together to try to work it out. We'll see how that goes. Another teacher pointed out that I should put it back in her court, since she has so much time to do such things, and have her keep a daily checklist (a long one!) of their behavior, so I can see exactly what is going on, and what needs to be worked on. I like that idea, and I think I will do it. I'll make sure to ask for lots of detailed comments. That really pisses me off. I hate work. I don't think I was made to work. Office politics and all the crap that comes with just trying to do your job suck.

I'm sorry to have wasted your time on my complaining, but I needed to get that out. I really hope you have a great day today, and I look forward to bringing you better news tomorrow!

I have a link off to the side called Ms. Smarty Pants' Page. It's actually supposed to be Mimi Smartypants, but oh well. If you get a chance, you should check it out sometimes. I love to read it. I think she is very much like me, just a better and more creative writer. She has a baby the same age as TJ, and her stories often cover just what I am thinking. She also seems to think like me in many ways, and have the same feelings about some big issues. It makes me feel more normal to see someone else like me. Her blog was turned into a book, so she must know what she's doing. Anyway, you should check it out. If you use my link, you have to click on the Newest link on the side of her page to see the newer postings. Funny stuff!

Okay, I need some help, please. If you know me at all, I have said time and time again that my child is really not all that interested in tv, aside from an occasional glance here and there for a few minutes at a time at some children's cartoons and stuff. To me, that's just great. Sometimes I wish he'd watch adult shows and enjoy them, so I could watch them and not have to play Mommy while I do, but that's okay. We'll live. Today, though, I was working in his room, trying to get some stuff organized. He was playing and changing the channels on the tv (he does love to play with the tv, just not to watch it!). Somehow he stumbled upon the show BooBah, much to my dismay. This is where my confusion has set it. I decided not to argue with him, as I didn't really care what we watched (although this would not have been my choice). I figured he was the one watching, not me, and he seemed to want it to be on this station. My child, who, might I remind you, watches rare moments of tv with little interest when he does watch, went nuts! He started giggling and blathering in baby talk and rolling around on the bed. He was so excited! When I say baby talk, I mean gagagoogoo kinds, not the somewhat formulated words he does now. He started making some strange sound like "blick!" over and over again, seemingly along with the beat of the song on the tv. Now let me tell you what was going on with this show: There were these little BooBah creatures running around in circles to some beat that really had no rhythm or definition. Then, one-by-one, they would stop and start doing this dumb dance where they lifted one leg and its matching arm on the downbeat, then switch to the opposite arm and leg on the next downbeat. That's it! So outrageously ridiculous and stupid! TJ was so thrilled and into it! I didn't know what to think, except that I wanted it off of my television as soon as possible. Actually, what I was thinking was, "Who on earth thought up this stupid idea, and what kind of mental problems must these people have to be wearing these stupid outfits and dancing around like that?" It hurt to witness, and I think I'm forever scarred. What's worse is that after that "dance scene" it went to another scene where some old lady was lying in a bed in the desert or something and turning a dial. WHAT???!!!! The whole time, though, TJ just said, "Mommy, I want Boobah. I want Boobah again." What do you say to that, "No, never again. I don't care if you like it, it's just rotted your brain and you've lost years of learning." No, you can't do that, so I vowed and promised that they would come back. They did, too, sadly. The pain! So, if someone out there could please help me to understand why this show exists, and why my child likes it, I would more than love to hear from you. I don't know if I can handle this. I would hate to have to program ETV off of my television so that TJ can never again stumble upon the evil Boobahs!

WE HAVE MOVED!!! I mean, except for the few last things here and there, and the fun cleaning I have to look forward to this weekend, we are moved in. Doug and Leanne from work came over to help, along with Trey's parents, and I am forever grateful to them all. I know we would have never achieved the move without them. I wasn't much help myself, being prego and all. We spent last night here, and it was WONDERFUL! I could breathe fresh air, and I didn't get my headache that I was getting so accustomed to suffering. Of course, you would know that I have a cold now, and can barely breathe, but who cares! It's so much easier to deal with in a house where you feel well. I'm so excited! I thought we would be a little cramped b/c this place is about 200 square feet smaller than the last apt., but it actually feels bigger to me. I really like the way Trey figured out to set up our room, and there's even some space in here now. TJ's room feels huge! The living and dining rooms are connected, and that's really cool. We put TJ's play stuff in the back end of it, and he's already using it more b/c it's separate, but still in the same room. I like that b/c we can be near him, but we don't have to drop everything to go play with him now. I love it here! What's more, we have already been invited to a holiday drop-in next week. How exciting! Maybe we'll get to meet some of our neighbors...I see that there are a lot of babies and small children here. I think this place is going to be cool!

We cooked at school today. It was pretty cool except that I forgot to bring the syrup for our waffles. The kids gave me grief, but made them anyway. We made eggs, sausage and syrupless waffles. A lot of them devised to take the waffles and wrap the eggs and sausage in them, kinda like a sandwich. They are so creative! Some of the guys did some pretty amazing things with the eggs. I see some real talent in some of them. I'm also glad that we cooked, b/c I was not in the right mind to really try to teach today, being that I feel like I'm going to die right now. I feel bad b/c I'm going to call in tomorrow, and it's a terrible day for me to be out (a LOT of people will be out tomorrow), but I wouldn't make it through the day otherwise. What are you gonna do, eh? I guess if they curse me, I won't know b/c I won't be there!

Quick note about a movie. We watched Dodgeball tonight. That was a pretty funny movie! It had Ben Stiller in it, and he is just hilarious in my opinion. It was dumb as all get-up, the plot being two gym owners facing each other in a dodgeball tournament you kinda had to know that, but that's what made it so funny. You just knew stupid things were going to happen, and that you were going to laugh whether you wanted to or not. My favorite part was when the guy got hit in the face with the wrench. Yeah, you have to see it to understand, but when you do, you'll crack up! If you are in the mood just to laugh and not have to think, this is a perfect movie! I highly recommend Dodgeball.

Well, I guess I'll go now. I need to sleep. May your day be the best day ever! I'll see you tomorrow!

Could it honestly only be Monday? I am tired enough for it to be at least Thursday already, or perhaps even Friday. How can it only be Monday?! Plus, to top that, we are moving this week, while I still go to work and have a very busy week (more busy than usual) there. YIppee! But, enough whining...

Guess what! TJ checked out his first book from the library today. I had to go to get some books for us to read in class tomorrow, and I took TJ so Daddy could have some time alone. The whole ride there I told him all about how we were going to go to the library and check out a book. The chant the whole way was, "Go to check out a booooooookkk." It was great! Then we got there, and TJ picked out three books. One had animals in it made out of shapes. One shape was a circle. He knew that one and was very proud to tell me the whole ride home. While we were there, and I was looking for my books, he put together puzzles they had in the kids section. It was cool. Oh, and did I tell you about the escalators! Now that was fun! Plus, the library was VERY big and open, and that was just perfect in TJ's eyes for running around! He had so much fun! Then, the whole ride home, while he read his book, we talked about showing Daddy his first book! It was cool. When we got home, he ran over and threw it at Daddy. I guess that counts, right? He may not be as enthused, but it sure was great to me! Even the people at the library were pretty excited, and congratulated him on his first library book check out. What fun! I can't wait to go back...it's a very nice and neat library!

Well, that's about my day. Nothing really happened except that. Got a couple more Christmas presents this afternoon, and I only have a few left to get. Yippee! Wish us luck tomorrow, we are going to begin the move. We signed the papers today, and the fun begins tomorrow. I hope you guys have a great Tuesday, even better than Monday, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Well, today was pretty uneventful. As was to be expected. I didn't feel good when I woke up, so I knew I wouldn't be overachieving today. I still don't feel good, and I don't expect tomorrow to be much better.

So, here's a funny story. I just know that Trey will kick my ass for writing this. Today TJ poo-pooed in his diaper, and I went to change it. He was holding a coat hanger at the time, and he put it down, only to land in his uh, stuff. So I grabbed it and gave it to Trey to hold for a second. I assumed he had seen what had just happened. He takes it, and just as I'm going to say to only hold the handle (where there was no poop), he sets it down on his head. That was a priceless moment. I finished saying what I was telling him about the poop and all, and he gave me this look. You can just imagine it, the "I just put poop on my head, didn't I?" look. It was great! I laughed until I cried. Then, he came back and sat down after he cleaned his head off, and was leaning back in the office chair. There were mega-blocks all over the floor (see pics), and he somehow managed to make the chair fall over, and right on to the mega-blocks. I tell you what, Trey was great entertainment for me today! Gotta love him!

So we're moving Wednesday. I am absolutely not prepared at all. Not to mention, I have twenty things to do for school this week, that need to be done in the evenings. This should work well! It's time to make miracles happen!

Do check out TJ's castle pictures. He worked so hard to make it this morning before Trey was awake. I told him we would keep it till he woke up to show him. A few minutes later I walked across the apt. to look up something on the internet. The next thing I know, TJ is trying to carry it over to me, so we can show it to Daddy. Right as I was telling him not to drop it, it fell. He got the saddest look on his face (it fell apart), and began to cry and ran over to the couch and buried his face. It was so sad, yet cute. I went and told him that it was okay and that we could fix it up to be better. After he calmed down, we went back to work, and he was so proud of his new castle. Why he decided to destroy it immediately afterwards (and mere minutes before Daddy woke up) is beyond me. It was fun, though, seeing him work so hard and thinking so seriously about where all the little blocks had to go. Man, kids are fun!

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I hope your Monday is the best yet!

This is the castle five minutes later...I fought, but he had to destroy it! 

This is TJ making his cool castle today. He worked so hard! 

Check out TJ in his (my) fancy shoes! Don't his legs look so long and skinny... 

I just love the Shanna Show. It's on right now. It's the lamest little kids show that lasts about five minutes b/t programs. A little black girl and her brother and stuffed animals (which talk and dance) show you clues to a job and you have to guess what job it is. It's very juvenile, just right for TJ. The song, though, gets stuck in my head all week. I find myself singing, "My name is Shane, it rhymes with rain..." at wierd times during the week. I'm sure my students think there is something seriously wrong with me. Of course, there is, so that's okay.

I was going to post last night, and suddenly out of the blue TJ just started screaming bloody murder. He was in bed sleeping before that. He tends to do that a lot lately. I always ask him if he had a bad dream. He tells me, "Had a bad dream," now, but I wonder if that's what it really is. All I know is that he will be in a sound sleep, and just all of a sudden start screaming. When I go in there he is usually really scared acting and cries for a while. Last night he cried for about twenty minutes, with no calming down till right at the end. If anyone has any ideas what could be causing this, do tell me. It freaks me out quite a bit.

Well, I'm happy to say that I'm almost done with all my Christmas shopping now. I still have some left, but for the most part I've finished. Of course, I ordered a lot of it from the internet, so now I've got to wait for it to come. I ordered one thing for my neice and nephew that said it's not supposed to come until the middle of January. I hope it's wrong, and it comes earlier like most stuff I order does. If not, I'll just have to hold off and give it to them for their birthdays and find them a new Christmas present. Hmmmmm....I keep thinking I'm done getting all of TJ's presents, but I keep remembering one more thing here and there. It's so hard to be so in love with your child. You want him to have EVERYTHING, but it's not really possible. Of course, really, the more he has, the more clutter my house has. So, I'm sure it's better for all of us that he doesn't have everything. Whenever he doesn't have something, we'll just find a reason to go visit someone that does!

Okay, well, good luck to all of you who still have Christmas shopping left, too. I hope you have a great day! I'll see you tomorrow!

Thank God tomorrow's Friday! I didn't think this week would ever end, and I didn't even work Monday!

I would like to make a profound thought today...Let's see...

Have you ever thought about just how much your kind thoughts, words and gestures can mean to someone else? For instance, today we did a lesson where I had the students write down what gifts they had to offer to people like their teachers, social workers, families, stuff like that (it was someone else's lesson that I "borrowed"). Some of the students were stumped in some areas, especially the teacher and social worker ones, since they claim to hate us all so much. I pointed out that there is one kid that gives me a big smile every morning when he comes in to first period, and it sets my day in the right way. There is another kid in first period that talks to me and gives me hope that not only will he do alright in the world, but that there are still some kids out there with feelings and consciences...Now, of course, as soon as the other students come in (he's usually first), he has to go back to being cool, but those little conversations we have just really make my day. I think that is a gift he gives me. It doesn't cost him a thing, we both enjoy the conversations, it doesn't hurt or strain him any, and it really means something to me. I'll admit, there are some students that give me the gift of practice in perseverance, as they challenge me everyday to try to find new ways to get through to them. However, for the most part, most of my kids give me gifts they could never imagine almost daily. Even one kid that I've almost grown to hate (you've heard about him before), did his work today, and it was so great to me. I bragged on him a lot, and pointed out how proud he should be that he accomplished something, no matter how small it was. It was nice for me to see him do something besides waste time, and it was definitely a gift to not have to put up with him misbehaving! So, to end my profound thought, possibly premature but I have to go to bed now, do you have any gifts that you never think of that make a difference in people's lives? Do you do something nice or thoughtful that you don't even think twice about that more than likely really make someone else's day? I know I do. I am the goofiest person I know, and some people don't like that. However, there are a few that find it quite easy to laugh, eh hem, "with me". I like that, even if they are laughing at me, b/c I know that as long as they are laughing, no matter what the reason, that is one moment that they are definitely not miserable! So, there, that is my gift...the gift of being NUTS!