I just got home from the in-laws' house, and I have to say it seems like it was a really long day, even though I really didn't do anything. It started slow, and eventually we got moving. Once we did, I went to turn in the keys to the old apt., but they were gone for an hour. So I went to the ghetto mall near it and found a way to waste an hour. I took TJ to get his pic taken with Santa, and it's horrible. I'm so excited! He was all about going to see Santa, and as we waited our couple of minutes while the girl in front of us got her pic taken, we talked about going to see Santa, "Gonna go see Santa..." Then it was our turn. I walked with him over to Santa, and about five feet away, he pulled back, and I knew it wasn't going to be good. I managed to get him on his lap, and the girl managed to get a pic, right before he busted out crying and screaming. I think he thought I was leaving him, as I walked over to the camera to get out of the picture. In the picture he is trying to wiggle away from Santa, and has this really disgruntled look on his face, and his belly is hanging out where Santa was trying desperately to hang on. Those Santas are blessed and wonderful men! I could have passed on the pics, except I knew this was my only chance, and I can't wait to pick on him about them later when he can be embarrassed!

So, after we turned in the keys we went to Lancaster, just to get my wrapping paper and Christmas stuff. It took two minutes to get it out, and it didn't seem right to drive an hour one way just for two minutes. So we went to Nana and Grandaddy's house, and waited for Nana to get back from shopping. Bob said she would be right home, this was at four. Finally, at 6ish, we hunted down a number to reach her at, and found out that she would be home within the hour. I was ready to leave, but that wasn't happening! Anyway, TJ got to help her decorate the Christmas tree, and that was cool. This story is stupid.

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head right now. Have you ever wondered exactly what your purpose in life is? I know that I want to change people's lives for the better, but how? I don't like what I do, and I don't really feel like I change lives, at least not in the way I would like to. I mean, I'm sure I've touched at least one, as I do have easy means to do so if I do it right, being a teacher of emotionally troubled souls and all. I just don't feel like this is my calling anymore. I tried to figure it out on my drive home, and so far all I can come up with is that my purpose is to deeply affect the lives of my children. I am so scared of the world anymore, and for good reason. I'm not alone, read Susan's recent post. I really want my children to have the best lives they can have, and I know that I must be more involved than my present situation will allow me to be. I don't know if that is enough, though. I feel like I need to do more. I know that I must do something that will make me feel like I'm making a difference to someone, and where I feel appreciated in some way. It doesn't seem like much, but to me it is HUGE. I'm really stuck. Anybody else ever have these kind of thoughts?

Okay, well, I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to you later. I hope you have a blessed and inspiring day, and I'll see you tomorrow.