Well, today was a better day. Sadly, this is b/c there were many MANY teachers out, so they opted to show movies all day. That worked for me, as I pretty much became a babysitter at that point. Of course, what's really disturbing to me is that lately it seems as though once a movie is turned on, a lot of the boys start to feel "randy" or something. I had to keep a close eye on two boys today in my fifth period class, as they kept reaching for their private areas, and you could tell what they were really trying to do. One boy went in the bathroom for quite a while, and I was pretty sure I knew what he was doing. I figured, though, better there than in my face. I really don't want to work in this environment anymore. I thought I could handle it, and I think I can. However, in order to do that, I will have to change and become a person I don't want to be. I don't want to be the bitter and uncaring person I see myself already becoming. I have been told that in order to survive here I must stop caring so much and learn to accept. I think that's what the root of our problems at school are, is that they want us not to care and just to babysit, but there are too many people who do care. And they are fed up. I thought very seriously today about just looking for a new job out of the field. I really wish we could get our house sold.
Well, I really don't have much to say right now. We watched I, Robot tonight. Not Will Smith's best work. It was an okay movie, but a little lacking. I can't really say where or why, just that I felt, well, not a whole lot when the movie ended. You know, usually when you watch a good action movie, you feel a little winded or "Whoa!" at the end. At the end of this I just kinda felt, "uhhhh, okay, soo....." It was entertaining, and the whole robot conspiracy thing kept me watching, but, well, I just don't know. It could be that I really didn't like the way Will Smith looked in the movie. His facial hair wasn't doing it for me. Who knows? If you get the chance, you may want to check this movie out. I would pick Dodgeball over this movie, though.
Okay, well, I'm going to bed now. Wish me luck tomorrow, as well as the rest of the week. We are ALL ready to be done with school for the week! I hope you have a blessed Wednesday, and I'll see you tomorrow!
My ranting and raving, and hopefully your reading!
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Better news today
posted by Christi at 11:30 PM
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4 Comments:
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I think I heard Leonard Cohen in an interview a few years back talking about how something has changed within the core of many people.
It's something that people seem to be generally aware of, that things aren't the "same" as they used to be.
It occurred to me that the only reason society works is because we all agree to it. Government is useless if you, and everyone else, ignored it, so are laws.
I don't pretent to have any answers but this weekend, in Toronto, there were about 4 or 5 violent murders.
One kid was stabbed outside his house for not letting some kids into a private party. And this, apparently, was in a "good" neighbourhood (whatever that means). A few weeks ago, this 13 year old girl (I think) was caught in a cross fire of gunshots (on the Public Transit BUS) and lost her sight and no one will come forward. Why? People don't agree that the police are the "good guys" anymore.
I don't know what the world is coming to but I do know that it seems like people just aren't "agreeing" to have society the way they used to. Maybe it's just evolving, maybe it's disappearing. I guess time will tell. -
Julia, I was joking one day after you mentioned having a "badoonkadoonk" (sp?) with my students. I told them that my friend who delivers pizza was told that while out on a delivery. They suddenly got really interested and asked me what kind of situation it was. I told them that I thought you said they were some young black boys, but that was about all. They went off, and told me that you should not be going to areas like that alone. They said that if it were there "woman" going there by herself, they would shoot those people who said that, and beat her for going. I really didn't know what to think. I was a little shocked that they jumped to such a conclusion based merely on the facts of what you told me (they, mind you, were all young black boys themselves). I was somewhat happy that they would have cared enough to be upset if their "woman" came home and told them that. Then, of course, I was quickly shocked again at the mention of beating her! Kids aren't raised the same anymore. I started thinking the other day when TJ came to me and I asked what Daddy was doing. He said, "He's checking the email." I thought, "Hmmm, I would never had said something like that when I was 2. Nor would I know a lot of the things that TJ does, or have access to half of the stuff he does." His life will be SO different from mine (hopefully in good ways, of course). Unfortunately, I can't control everything, and some stuff will be bad. What's even more unfortunate is that so many other children out there won't have someone for a mom or dad who cares about them like we care for our kids. A lot of my kids have parents in gangs as well, and who use drugs and are in prison. I also wonder where "society" has gone, or is going. I'm a little scared for TJ and his generation, not to mention the ones to come.
I'm sorry it's so hard. I'd hate to see you turn bitter and uncaring too. When they do movies do they count that as a school day? Are they allowed to do that because they don't get a summer break? About the boys um, pleasuring themselves, what are you officially supposed to do about that? I mean, if a teacher in a regular classroom saw that it would not be a matter of saying, "Hey, put that thing away." It would be a big stinking deal. Some of this stuff I hear you talk about like the lock downs, gang symbols, and planning for riots is just totally shocking to me. I don't know why I should be shocked. It is a state prison after all. I don't know how much you make, but I am certain that you are underpaid for the job you do.