So, last night we went to a cookout with my Sunday School class. It was a lot of fun. Mind you, Trey is a vowed anti-social kinda guy, but admit it or not, he had fun. We had to bring our own meat to grill, and a side dish. I brought potato salad, and I have a TON left over. So, if anyone wants some potato salad, please, let me know. I'll airmail it to you if necessary! We also found t-bone steaks on sale at Walmart that were HUGE, and everyone was eyeballing them once they were cooked. I think they took up the whole grill. I didn't even finish most of mine, and that's not like me at all. I don't like to waste food, which is pretty obvious if you look at me! I went nuts over the fruit plate for some reason, and ate a ton of oranges and grapes, and there was a really good salad with walnuts and strawberries in it. I need the recipe for that one.

So we got there, and Trey was immediately sent out to be with the guys....mind you, guys he's never met. He did well. He used TJ as a buffer for a while, and tried to avoid any communication as long as he could. Eventually, though, I think he was sucked in. After we ate, the guys all went and played pool (they had an awesome pool table), and the girls sat in the living room and talked, mostly about babies and the like. Wendy and Randy are a couple in my class that's a lot like Trey and I. Wendy talks a lot with little restraint, and Randy is quiet and also anti-social. He and Trey got along well, and somehow managed to carry on a conversation about how they don't like to talk! Wendy is also prego--she's two weeks ahead of me--with a little boy, their first. His name will be Ethan. There was another girl there named Amy, who just had twin girls who were a month and a half premature, I think. They are now 8 weeks old, and they weigh about 8 pounds. So I figured I should hold one just for a little practice before Taryn comes. After they had been passed around for a while, I got Skylar (the other one's Sierra), and sat down with her. I figured I'd call TJ over to see her, and see what he thought. He was amazed. He was like, "Can I hug her? She looks cold. Here's a blanket. I will hold her foot because it's cold. Can I hug her? Can I kiss her? Can I hug her again? Cover her up, she's cold." Then, since I didn't realize he'd be so excited, Randy took him to wash his hands. He ran willingly to the bathroom so he could hold her. He came running back, and was like, "Can I hold her now?" as he's reaching to take her from me! I wasn't too into the idea of him holding someone else's tiny little baby, so I offered to let him hold her with me. He sat in my lap and wrapped his arms around her, and we rocked her for a little while. After a while, he got bored with it all, so he was off to play again. As he got up, though, he said, "I love her. I'm going to take her home with me." It was so sweet! I'm really excited about having Taryn now. I mean, I'm sure he will get a little jealous after a while when he sees that she's getting a lot of attention, but still. I was so worried that he'd be rough or mean or I don't even know what. I can tell he'll be a good helper. Now I'm mad that I have to wait so long! What's also cool is that Skylar was trying to go to sleep, but not doing so well with all the action going on around her (meanwhile, Sierra was knocked out!). Whenever TJ sat with me and was close to her, she got all nestled up to him and was much more content. It probably didn't help much, either, that the baby in my belly was kicking the crap out of her the whole time!

Trey did terribly at pool, but I'm glad he played and hung around other people for a change. When we left, he said he liked Randy and that everyone seemed pretty cool. I told him it must have been different than being around all his restaurant people (restaurant people are a different class of society all to themselves) and the dirty mouths and the like. He was like, "Ummm, didn't you hear them talking about 'getting some' and slipping out curse words here and there?" Nope, but I'm sure that just made him feel more at home! Anyway, I had a lot of fun, and Trey and TJ did, too. There was even a little girl, McKenzie (the twins' older sister), there who's TJ's age, and Drew, who's 18 mos. or so, for TJ to play with (plus all of Drew's wonderful toys!)!.

What's even better is that TJ has gone excitedely to Nana and Grandaddy's house for the weekend. I am all by myself! I'm sure I'll waste most of my time just sitting and catching up on tv I've missed to watch Dora and Blue's Clues. I plan on painting the cars and stuff that I got for TJ's wall, though. If I do that, then I have had a productive weekend! How exciting!

Okay, you guys have a great weekend, and I'll talk to you later, after I've enjoyed my time alone for a while! Bye!

Today it has been exactly two weeks since the departure of darling Ava. She is now surely comfortable in her new home, and under the wonderful care of a God that loves her more than she can ever know. I am still so deeply affected by her tragedy, and will forever be changed because of it. Her brief but special time on this earth was so important in so many ways. She will always be remembered and cherished by so many people around the world. I still wish there was something more I could do other than pray that everything turns out alright.

Julia mentioned the other day on her blog that she misses Mark and Karla, and wonders how they are doing. I, too, really miss them and hope that everything is going alright. I so wish that I lived closer to Canada, or even just had some money for gas, so that I could go to them and give them a big hug, and just sit and listen for a while. I still feel like they are both really strong people, and will come out of this stronger and more ready for the world ahead. However, I'm sure that's not how they feel right now, and that's totally understandable. So, if you happen to read this, McGrandma, please let us know how Karla and Mark are doing. I really, really miss them, and I would love to know if they are okay.
Also, if you are reading this, please continue to pray for them, as this is quite possibly one of the hardest things that could happen to someone, or so I think.

Just on a quick good note, I wanted to tell you this little story. We went to the other side of Columbia today on an adventure just to see what it's like over there. We ended up going to Columbia Mall to check it out. Trey had promised TJ he would take him to the candy store, and we went in and got a few pieces of gummy candy for him. The total came up to $1.17, and I realized I didn't have any cash, so I tried to pay with a debit card. The guy said they don't take cards. I was trying to figure out how to pay, or tell TJ that he couldn't have the candy (and anyone should know how hard that would have been!), and the guy who worked there said, "Hey, I've got it. You guys have a nice day." I didn't want to take his money, but I also didn't want to tell TJ he couldn't have his candy. So I accepted, with tons of thank you's and smiles and some more thank you's. TJ told him thank you, too. Wasn't that just SO sweet! It always makes me happy to know that there are still nice people out in the world. Yes, this seems like not such a big deal, but to me it is. Anyway, it totally touched my heart, and I'm glad God knows who I'm talking about, b/c I immediately prayed that something great would happen to that guy to pay him back for his generosity!

Alrighty then, I hope you all have a good day, and I will talk to you again soon. Please keep Ava and her parents in your heart. I know almost as much about her journey as I do my own child-to-be, and I can honestly say that I will never forget her. I just know that if she has her mom's humor, she will be cracking people up in Heaven forever and ever!

Here's what TJ and I made yesterday. It's my first attempt at a layer cake, and, well, it's edible. TJ's in love with it, though, and he helped me make it even! 

Here's TJ working hard! He's gotten so much better at these games in such a short time...it's kinda scary... 

I'm sorry, but what American Idol are you American people watching! This is the umpteenth week now that Scott has been saved by the stupid* Americans who should not be allowed to have phones, much less near them. Umm, and Anthony? He needs to go, too. I mean, it's inevitable that they will go soon. Bo, Carrie, and Vonzell need to be in the top three. Then Vonzell will have to go. Then Bo and Carrie will totally hook up and make the hottest couple around, and no one will care who wins, so they both will! Yep, that's how it has to go! Needless to say, I, again, played the role of bad mom tonight during the show. TJ had calmed down, and was going to go to bed right after the show was over. Of course, this was to be after Scott was voted off, and I could go back to enjoying the Tuesday shows again. Instead, some idiots* voted for Scott and Anthony instead of Constantine, and I was left upset....very upset. I screamed and screamed! TJ chanted with me, "Scott sucks!" and got all riled up again, complete with bouncing on the furniture and hitting everything he could. So anyway, on to the next subject, but American Idol voters....get with it and start listening on Tuesdays!!!

*if you voted for Scott or Anthony, I'm not calling you an idiot or stupid...I meant the other people who voted for them (I just want you to come back and keep reading!).

As for my last post, I guess I kinda already knew what the comments would be, for the most part, I just needed to have it told to me. However, some stuff was brought to my attention that I hadn't thought about. For instance, my thought on making sure TJ got out and about as much as possible was that I was making up for lost time and to get in as much as possible before the baby comes. However, I didn't think about the fact that he would come to expect it. Yeah, I know for a fact that when the baby is born, we won't be leaving the house unless Daddy is there for a while! So I'm glad that was brought up. I also made up a tentative schedule (I'll have to see how it goes) today for my days. Of course it's open to change, as my days do still involve changes, but hopefully I can kinda stick to it. It's really no different than what I loosely do now, but it's more set now that I wrote it down, or something like that. I'd tell it to you, but I think that you may be aghast at it, and I don't want to hear it when you see how my days go! I do feel better, though, and I'm glad that I'm not the only imperfect parent out there, and that no one is expecting me to be one. I do want to be a great parent, though. I see really bad parents all the time, and the outcome of bad parenting, and I have to admit that it puts a lot of pressure on me to be better than that. I will say, though, that as far as the consistency thing, and trying to be TJ's friend, I'm not worried about that. I agree with Julia that it's hard to be consistent all the time, b/c TJ really tries to test me, and it is really draining. He won't just stop b/c I say no, so I have to continually get up from what I'm doing to make him stop. He has been in time-out a few times in the last couple of days, and that's not hard for me. I know he'll still love me even if I do punish him...I mean, I still love my mom! (ha ha! Just wanted to see what you say to that, Mommy!) I always just fear that he won't be the genius that I knwo he is b/c I'm too lazy to teach him! I'm sure that's a bit of an exaggeration, though. I'm sure my mom took some days off, and I still turned out a genius... :)

Anyway, thanks everyone for your help.

One question now, who do you want to win American Idol, and why? I'm all for Carrie. She's messed up the last couple of weeks, so she better get on the ball, but she still ROCKS! She just looks like she's been doing it for years when she's up there! Alright, talk to you later, and you have a terrific day!

Lately I've been feeling quite guilty. I'm almost positive that my actions are due mostly to my being pregnant, but I really can't be sure. I know there are millions of people out there that can help me with this problem, and I'm calling on at least some of them to help.

Okay, here's the deal: I feel terrible, b/c I'm sucking at being a mom lately. I can honestly say that being home with TJ all day everyday is taking its toll on me, and that I had no idea how very exhausting it was going to be. I know I've said it before, but it's so much harder than working was! He has so much energy, and demands so much attention. I feel so terrible, b/c it seems like everyday I pay a little less attention to him and try to get him to play by himself. I feel like I'm short changing him, and I'm being selfish to want to ignore him so I can sit on the couch for a while and watch tv. Tonight when I opted to read a book while he took a bath (I sat on the toilet and just kinda monitored), I felt horrible afterwards. He's used to me playing along. What's really getting to me is that his behavior seems to be getting bad. I mean, he's a good kid, don't get me wrong, but he's started having these little fits all the time now, and he keeps ignoring me and doing exactly what he wants until I punish him. I used to just be able to say no and he would go along. Now I say no three times, then have to put him in time-out. After time-out he's alright, but I've gone from time-out once in a blue moon, to four or five times a week! His temper sucks, too. He's me when I was little! Oh, my poor Mommy!

Anyway, I didn't feel good a couple of days this past week, so we pretty much sat around the house and did next to nothing those two days. We didn't even go outside. I already felt bad about that, b/c kids need to go outside. I would play with him sporatically, but overall I just vegged out. So today I tried to make it up to him, and I took him to the playground and the library, and then to Trey's work to see him. He seemed to enjoy it, even though he ran away from me and had to go to time-out at the park. I felt so bad, though, b/c I really just didn't have the energy to play with him on the playground, which he really wanted, and he had to play alone. I told him I didn't feel good, and for a few minutes, he sat next to me and said he didn't feel good, either.

I know that some of my problem has to stem from the fact that I'm pregnant. I mean, my energy level has gone from decent to none in just the last few weeks. I can't even walk a set of stairs anymore w/o having to stop and catch my breath. Not to mention, the baby is having a hayday sitting on my nerves, so walking is not fun anymore, and every muscle in my lower body is as sore as it can get now. However, I feel like maybe I'm just being lazy, too. I can be lazy at times, I know this, and I'm trying not to be. I think maybe I am, though. I feel so horrible, b/c I just keep thinking I really want Trey's mom to come and take him away for a couple of days so I can sleep. Then I start thinking and feel bad b/c up until now I never was a full-time mom. I think TJ's tired of me, too, b/c he hates it when Trey leaves for work now, and begs him not to. I think I'm the mean parent and I'm no fun. That's not cool.

So maybe my question is this: Do you think my current behavior is just from being pregnant, or do you think I'm being lazy? Also, for those of you who've had two kids, did you have this problem? If so, what did you do about it? I don't want TJ to think I suck as a mom. What's worse, I don't want to stay this way and be a terrible stay-at-home mom. What if this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing, and really I should go back to work instead? Am I just being irrational b/c of the whole hormones and braindead thing? Please help....

Alright, I'll talk to you later. Have a great day!

I had my second shower yesterday. It was pretty cool. I'm glad the people who showed up did, b/c they are all cool people. However, I was a little upset at some of the people who didn't come. I guess I felt a little let down. But hey, at least now I know who my real friends are, right? I mean, there were some people who legitimately couldn't come, but for the most part, the people I was hoping would come didn't even rsvp.

Anyway, besides that, I had fun. There were about 9 people there total, with me included. It was held at Atlanta Bread Company, one of my most favorite places to eat. I love that Gina, my sis-in-law who threw it for me, decided to have it there. I just think that was so original and unique! She had all these pink plates and pink stuff out, and it was so cute! I have really started to take to this pink thing, and quite frankly, it's scaring the bejeesus out of me! What I really liked was that she had these little cards on the plates that had nifty little quotes and pictures on them. That was a nice touch I've never seen before, and may have to copy if I ever get a chance to do something cool like that one day! She had a tray of pastries from ABC and some mixed fruit, and that was cool. It was nice a light...of course, being that I was there, I had to buy coffee, sooo...

We played two games. Well, the first wasn't so much a game as it was just making everyone use their brains. Gina had everyone write down their favorite easy recipe on an index card for me to use once the baby was born. I was looking at them last night, and I have to say I think I'll use pretty much every one of them! Not only were they all simple to do, but they also looked like they'd be delicious! I put mine in just to play along, which was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ramen noodles. I eat that so much that TJ now thinks it's a matched set, and looks for noodles anytime I give him pb&j now! The next game was where we had to sniff 6 jars of baby food and guess what they were. It was challenging, but I have the advantage of not being too far out of baby food land on my side. I got 5 out of 6 right, and the one I missed was pears, which I forgot even existed! That was pretty fun! I didn't realize, either, that carrots and sweet potatoes looked and smelled so much alike!

Afterwards, we chatted for a few minutes, b/c we were hoping Susan would get there (she was running late), but to no avail. So I went ahead and opened presents. I got a waterproof pad for the crib mattress, which I really needed, and a nice sage green sheet for it from Lynda. Ruth gave me the cutest little purple gingham dress w/matching bloomers and hat and some burpcloths. Louisa gave me a back seat mirror and a neck support w/Elmo and Cookie Monster on it, which TJ has already taken to be his own personal neck warmer to wear around the house! Susan gave me a gift card for Wal-Mart (when she got there), which I have already used to order a car seat protector/toy holder that I really wanted to get! It was perfect! Lastly, my Sunday school class gave me a carseat! How wonderful! I have to say, I am a truly blessed person, and I totally believe that God is totally looking out for me! I mean, everything I got yesterday is something that I had registered for and was really hoping to get. Like, you know there are some things you can take or leave, but some things you just really know you'll need. That was yesterday...and the other shower for that matter. My friends and family ROCK!

What was really cool is that after the shower Susan stuck around (my sister) and hung out with all of us. We went to eat at California Dreaming and saw Trey for a few minutes, then chilled at Wesley and Gina's house. It was a nice evening. We also took a cool pic of the three of us w/the kids. I wish I had it on my computer, but I don't. If I can get it from Gina I'll post it, b/c it's a pretty cool pic.

Anyway, for those that wanted to know, that was my other shower. I had a nice time, and I'm so thankful to Gina for being so sweet and throwing it for me! I am such a lucky person! I hope your day yesterday, and today, was great, and that tomorrow is even better! I will talk to you soon!

My mom told him to pose....He does look happy, though! 

Since when did TJ become a camera ham? 

My mom said to give her a "real" smile. There you go! 

Kara (my bro's g/f) is tough! If she knew what my mom was doing, she'd beat her down, I just know it! 

I've got just the car for you! 

Trey is ready for action! 

Bo (my stepdad) and Jimmy being "Hard". You're scared, aren't you? 

This is my brother, Jimmy. Doesn't he look sensitive? (Yeah, he is a pretty good actor!) 

This week has been long, indeed. I can't say it was all bad, though.

Trey was off Wed. and Thurs., and although he had court on Wed. morning, we managed to turn that day into a pretty good one. My mom has a timeshare in Myrtle Beach in April and in October. Why, is beyond me. Nevertheless, she always invites us to come and hang out if we want, and we figured, "Why not? A free place to crash in Myrtle Beach for the day." It was nice to get away, and just enjoy being somewhere else for a little while.

Of course, if you know anything about my mom at all, we went shopping, twice. She is a shopaholic, and lives to save money (it's somewhat rubbed off on me). They have tons of outlet malls in Myrtle Beach, and she can think of nothing better than to go to them and try to find deals and use the coupon books they have. Outlet malls used to be a really cool place to save money, now they are pretty much like any other store. Old Navy, and probably plenty of other places, manufactures clothes just for the outlet stores, which usually cost more than the regular stores. The idea originally was that unsold and outdated stuff would go there to be sold at a discount, but whatever...I digress...So anyway, Trey got his yearly pair of New Balance tennis shoes, which are almost identical to the ones he got last year, and the year before that, and the year before that...white with a tiny bit of navy blue accent. Same price, same coupon, same store. This time TJ got a blow up tiny little beach ball, though, so I guess that makes it all worth it. I also talked him into getting a pair of flip-flops to hang out in, and a new t-shirt b/c TJ managed to scratch him and make him bleed all over the one he had on!

We went to the pool a couple of times yesterday (it was indoors and heated), and TJ learned how to swim again (he did last year, but was terrified when we tried this year). Of course, his swimming includes wearing a life jacket, but...At first he was freaking out, and by the end he was like, "Can I swim by myself?" My brother and his girlfriend were there, too. They went with us to the pool the second time yesterday, and there was also a hot tub there. Trey and TJ went over to get in it. I told my brother I couldn't, and he was like, "Why?" I explained that it was a lot like a boiled egg kinda thing, and that I didn't want to cook Taryn like that. He didn't get it, nor did he believe me. I'm so glad he can't get pregnant!

We also played putt-putt yesterday. We went to the chinkiest place you can imagine. I still don't understand what a dinosaur, octopus, shark, starfish, and pepto-pink castle have to do with each other, but...and it was all made out of what looked like paper-mache', then painted with gross colors that must have been oops! paint at Home Depot! The course itself was falling apart, with the bricks tipping everytime you touched them. Overall, it was a nice, safe place to spend the afternoon! TJ won the game, with about ten holes-in-one. My mom came in second with one more stroke than TJ, even though she only had one hole-in-one (now how does that work?). Mind you, my mom was the one keeping score....I lost. I think my mom was out to get me. She kept saying I was cheating. I have no idea what she was talking about, but I'm just shocked! I mean, I would never push the ball into the hole with my club, or hit it before it stopped moving! The insult! Supposedly, Trey was cheating, too. I see no problem with taking three "practice shots" on each hole before you're ready....It was pretty cool, though. The most fun we had was dodging the giant bumble bees that were all over the place!

Anyway, it didn't seem like we did a whole lot yesterday, but I'm still totally exhausted from it. I don't plan to do much today, and I feel bad for Trey that he has to go to work today. I guess I'm just happy for him that he's not pregnant. I'm just glad this week's almost over! I hope you are, too, and that you have a great day. I'll see you soon.

I think this would be the week to make it through, and then next week should be good. What's funny is that I'm actually not the one having any real personal problems right now. However, having just overcome most of mine, it seems that everyone else is, which is actually more disturbing and upsetting to me than my own were. Julia's grandma-in-law is in the hospital, and things aren't looking good. Gina's dad is in the hospital with heart troubles, and she says he's way too young to be dealing with heart problems. Of course you know about the devastating tragedy Mark and Karla have just suffered. It's hard to think of your own life and enjoying what you have when all of this terrible stuff is going on around you with the people you really care about. I don't want to be happy, b/c I want to be there for them to show them that I care about them. I think, though, that maybe it's better to be happy and to carry on my life, so to say that there is hope and that I can be there for a positive word or outlook when it's needed. Nonetheless, I do plan to curb the baby talk and whatnot for a little while out of respect for the extreme loss that Karla and Mark have just suffered. It's so upsetting, because I was really looking forward to seeing Ava and hearing all about her, then telling them all about Taryn. I don't suppose they will want to hear about her now. Of course, I can't guarantee that everything will work out for me, either. All I know is that knowing Karla and Mark has made this pregnancy so much more fun and exciting! Please remember to let go of a balloon tomorrow to honor Ava, and keep up your prayers. I'm going in the morning to get ours. I think I'll get purple, the perfect baby girl color.

Trey has court tomorrow. He got a ticket in December of 2003 for speeding and not having his updated registration. He went to his ordered court date and requested a jury trial, b/c he said he was not speeding, and that it was a different white car (he was driving mine at the time). I don't know how it will go, but I'm not feeling good about it. I got proof that we paid our taxes in Lancaster that year, but I can't find the registration. To be honest, when I listen to Trey's story, I don't really feel convinced. I just hope that the cop doesn't remember it at all, and that he doesn't care. If the ticket is put on Trey's license, his insurance will go back up again, and it was just brought down b/c something came off of it. I'm sure everything will work out alright.

Oh, and I'm feeling pretty good. We went about 200-300 minutes over our regular plan this month on our cell phones. By "we" I mean "me". It seems now that I'm not working during the days, that gives me plenty of time to talk on the phone. I'm not feeling good about the fact that my cell phone bill will likely be ten times what it usually is. However, I went up there today to change my plan to get more minutes, and I think that it may actually come out to less than it was. We had 700 min. to share, w/1000 mobile-to-mobile and 1000 night and weekend minutes. Now we have 1200 min. to share, and unlimited everything else. However, w/our old plan it was $20 to add the extra line. W/the new one, it's only $10. As well, I noticed that for some reason we were paying for mobile web ($6/mo.) and Mr. Rescue, which we never would have used ($6/mo.). I got rid of those. The new plan is $20 more than the old one was. If you figure it up, though, it's about $2 less. I'm sure there will be some taxes added or something that will make it more, but still, a few bucks won't be too bad. I just like that I have more minutes and less to worry about. I need to stop answering the phone all the time! It seems that some of my friends think that now that I'm home I'm free to talk all day everyday.

Well, I guess I'll go now. I still have to finish laundry and get ready for bed. I have a lot of praying to do tonight, as it seems that everyone I know is suffering some hardship right now. I hope you had a lot of praying tonight, too. Please have a good day tomorrow, and I'll see you soon.

Following up on my last post, I would like for you all to please go to Karla's Page. The entire world has experienced a great loss, and your prayers are much needed now. Ava will be very sorely missed and is loved by more than she will ever know. Please keep in mind that on Wednesday balloons will be let go in her honor. Please do this as well.

It feels weird that I have friends that I have never met, and will more than likely never meet. It's new to me to think that I could care so deeply about someone who is an entire country away from me. Just to think that there are people here that I know in person, and I don't know nearly as much about them as I do these people from all over the world that I have never met. It's a surreal (is that the right word?) feeling, and one that both excites and scares me. I mean, how exciting is it to know people from all over the world! Hey, if I want to go on vacation one day, I might even be able to just crash at someone's pad in New Zealand, and get a tour guide! On the flip side, I do care about these people that I feel compelled and drawn to check on each and every day. I love to learn about their lives, and correspond with them. Sure, there are some that I actually do know. Sure, there are some that I don't, but that I know better than others. Some blogs I just read on occasion, some I read religiously...but all of the people I feel like I know at least a little bit about, which would be unlikely if this method of information transfer didn't exist.

So that's why I'm so upset today. I'm upset over someone I have not met, and never will meet. I'm upset for people I have never met. I have heard so much about them all, and even shared outside emails with them, but never met them. To be honest, as much as I'd like to meet them, the chances of that are slim, as they are an entire country away. However, something so terrible has happened to them, and they are in the worst place I can imagine right now. I spent all of last night, after I found out, crying and trying to figure it all out. I can't, and I can't be there for them, and it disturbs me greatly. I don't know what to do. What do you do when someone you really, really care about has a horrible tragedy happen to them, and you've never even actually spoken to them? I want to be there to help them. As it stands, though, I can't even afford the gas to get out of the city, much less out of the country. I've thought about sending flowers and a card, but it just seems so trivial at a time like this. What do you do to really show you care, and want to be there for someone? I feel like what we shared was this blog thing, and now I can't carry on my blog. I can't talk about my good news, knowing that theirs is so tragic. I don't feel at liberty to discuss others' personal problems, but if someone could help me figure out how to deal with this, I would greatly appreciate it. I've never even thought about how I would feel upon finding out such awful news about a fellow blogger. This is a whole new avenue that I'm guessing most of you also have never dealt with. I would appreciate your thoughts, though.

Okay, talk to you later. Have a great day.

If you don't believe in the wonderful things that God does, then well, you suck.

I found out today that I am approved and eligible for unemployment! Hooray! I didn't hear anything back from the lady I spoke with at the unemployment office, so I kinda figured I would be. However, I didn't think I'd hear back so quickly. Isn't that just super! I'm not sure when they will start to pay me, but I don't even care. I got paid today, which is also great, so there's no rush. What's even better is that I qualified for the maximum benefit allowed. It's still only about half of what I used to make, but still...What a great thing!

To add to my wonderful day, I got a $98 refund check in the mail from my old doctor's office b/c I had overpaid them. How nice!

Oh, and I got some stuff for decorating the babies' room. I couldn't find any wall stick-ons that I like, so I went to the craft store to try to get some ideas. I thought about making little cars and flowers out of foam and felt, but then I thought that TJ would no doubt destroy them. Then I stumbled upon lots of little wooden shapes of cars, trucks, planes, etc. They had paint on sale 4/$1.00, as compared to the regular $.76, and they even had the paint brushes on sale for half off for a pack of everything I would need! How great is that! They also had big wooden letters (6") on sale for $1.48, which were regularly $2.49. Since I have letters of TJ's name (that were about $8-10 a piece!), I figured I could do some for Taryn, too, and hang them on the walls as well. Isn't that just so cool! Plus, I got these little airplane model sets that I'm going to make and hang from the ceiling above TJ's bed. I so wish I could paint the walls, b/c I got a cute little boat that I want to be in the water, and the cars need a road to drive on. Who knows, maybe I'll figure something out for those, too! Of course, the part that stinks about this crafty stuff is now I have to find time to paint and hang them (which is actually easier said than done!), but it will have so much more sentimental value or something like that in the end (and I think it will look so much cooler!). TJ loves stars, so I even got him some for the wall! Now I have to see how that goes, and I'm going to go from there for Taryn's side. I got the sheets from Gina today, and they just have little purple flowers on them, so that should be easy.

I watched Blake and Julia tonight (my nephew and neice). It was fun. They are a handful, though. I'm so not used to having more than one child at a time. It really drains you when you are babysitting and you feel like you have to watch so closely and entertain the entire time. They are pretty good, though. I'm sure Wesley wanted to kick me, though, when he came to pick them up. Their bedtime is around 8, and he came at 9:45. They had just finished eating pizza and drinking caffeinated Dr. Pepper right before he got there. Blake was pretty chill, and passed out before they left. Julia, on the other hand, was wild, and she and TJ were running around like wild monkeys the entire time until they all left. It was so funny. Plus, Julia has a soccer game at 8 tomorrow morning. She had a total meltdown in the parking lot when they were leaving b/c I had Trey carry her carseat and she wanted to do it. I felt bad b/c I know it was b/c she was tired, and I'm sure Wesley really wanted to do more than kick me then! I'm such a bad aunt! Oh well...we still had fun! After all, that is what my job is, right? At least I didn't feed them candy!

Well, I'll talk to you later. I hope you have a great day! Bye!

Today Trey took the spare bed out of the bedroom for me. Then he put the crib in it. It's now put together in the corner, just waiting for the next step! We rearranged the bedroom and put TJ's bed on the opposite wall. Tomorrow we are going to get the bedding from Gina to put on the crib and get some crates for TJ's books. I will be so much closer then! I'm on a mad hunt for the right wall stick-ups for the room. TJ is going to get cars and trucks and what-not to match the new sheet and comforter I got him yesterday. I have to take a closer look at Taryn's bedset to see what I'm going to do with hers (Gina's letting me use Julia's old one, and I know I like it, but I can't remember what all it has on it!). This is getting so exciting! I'm so glad that Trey got in on it with me a little bit, b/c he's REALLY good at organizing things, and I'm not. He put the room in an order that makes more sense and looks better than I would have. I do well with the micro-organizing and tidying up after he sets up the design! In that respect I think we make a good team. Yes, and one the room is done, that means Taryn has to come out, right? I'm starting to get a little excited! Trey keeps telling me I'm nesting...Whatever!

So, I'm officially broke now. In order to refrain from accruing attorney fees for foreclosure on the house, I had to pay off the total amount that we owe today (missed payments and late fees). I wasn't worried about them foreclosing on the house before the sale went through, but I wasn't too keen on adding a few thousand dollars in attorney fees for nothing. No, really, I just didn't want the mortgage company to have to go through all of that trouble for nothing, sweet girl that I am. Now all of my credit cards are maxed out, but I'm free from worry for now. There is no more fear of foreclosure. I talked to Tim, our real estate agent, today, and he also said that we will probably close earlier than expected. I think that's good, b/c it was supposed to be in June, and my fear was that I would have to miss it to have a baby. I'm feeling much better. I don't like having no emergency cushion, but hey, I guess this could count as an emergency, right? It's funny to me how I spent over $3000 I didn't really have today, and yet I'm so happy because of it!

One last thing...TJ is growing up so fast! Today when we were moving the beds back and forth, he helped us. Trey propped the crib mattress and the sides onto his wagon, and he insisted on pulling it all the way back to the apartment by himself. He did it, too, and well! I kept trying to make sure it was balanced, and he would yell at me..."NO Mommy! I wanna do it by myself!" I had the biggest smile on my face! I know it must have been heavy for him to pull all that way, but he didn't flinch once. Oh, and when we went grocery shopping, Trey gave him a little bag (it was light, I promise), and he carried it all the way up the stairs by himself! I came to get some more stuff to bring up, and I almost fell over I was so excited! I was so proud of him, and he was so proud of himself! He said, "I did it! I did it all by myself!" The cutest part is that he does it in this little squeal that tells you just how really excited he is about it! I love TJ! Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky!

Alrighty then, I'll let you go now. I hope your day is inspirational, and I'll see you soon!

I really can't think of much to say right now. I guess my life is at a lull or something.

I went to the library today w/Gina and her daughter Julia. They have a story time on Wed. mornings there, and I thought TJ would enjoy it. Gina took him once, and he supposedly was so great. Instead, he ran wild and talked the whole time, till I finally took him out of the room halfway through. I thought we might go find him a book to read together, and then go back in and hold the book while the librarian read aloud. No such luck. Instead, while I asked the librarian where the board books were, he found the toys. So, we built lego stuff instead. He was happy. I'm sure the librarian reading was happy. So, I was happy! I'm debating going back next week or not. I figure if we make a goal to make it through at least half of it, and if TJ realizes that it's something we do every week, then it might work. I just don't want to get on the nerves of everyone else in the room who actually wants to hear the book, and the librarian who actually wants to be able to read it! I'll ask Gina and see what she thinks. Any thoughts from you?

We went to Lancaster yesterday to run some errands, and Nana got her TJ fix for a little while. She was at his beck and call all day long, and to me it was so funny! No wonder TJ prefers to be there than here. Don't get me wrong, I play with him and the like, but she actually quit eating dinner b/c he wanted her to read him a book! No way! I'm sorry, but I don't stop eating for anything! It was fun, though. I also stopped by my old school I taught at my first year on the way there, Kershaw Elementary. I saw a whole bunch of teachers I used to work with, and they couldnt' believe that TJ was so big. My mentor while I was there was the Speech Therapist, and I showed her how all of her tips made TJ a very well-spoken little boy. I hope she cared, b/c if not, she probably got really annoyed with me repeating it every five minutes how well he speaks and how her tips got him there b/c I followed them! He liked her b/c she gave him a sucker and played with puppets with him, so he actually spoke to her. I got some grief for letting him still have a pacifier, but oh well. I'm not ready to fight that fight yet, especially since he will want it again after the baby is born I'm sure. They told me that the teacher who replaced me is now leaving (she's been there two years now) b/c she can't handle the kids. She has tons of experience and is getting her masters or doctorate or something, and also had TWO aides instead of the one that I had. They also told me the aide I had quit b/c of personal problems, and that the teacher who took my place couldn't work with her at all. That made me feel a little better. I know, that's not good stuff, but I quit b/c I couldn't work with her, either, and I really couldn't handle that class. Of course, it was my first year and I was pregnant almost the entire time! Then I had a newborn the rest of the year! I actually thought I would have been able to do much better the second year had I stuck around. I didn't like the atmosphere of the town, though. It's a really small town where everybody knows everybody else's business, and everyone's related. Not for me. It was nice going to visit, though. Everyone there was so nice, and it was so much better run than Birchwood was! They told me that if I ever decide to come back, they would gladly take me. That was really nice to hear (of course, I didn't mention the whole getting fired thing...I just said I'm being a mom now!).

Well, I guess that's it for now. TJ's napping, so I think I'm going to just chill out for a little bit and try to rest while I still can. I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

This will be Taryn's first outfit that we'll bring her home in. The shoes don't exactly match, but they're SO cute, and they have the blue thing going! The blanket has some significance, b/c I brought TJ home in it, and my mom brought me home in it. Only fitting for me to bring my new baby home in it! 

I have not stopped since I stopped working for pay! Today I am doing exciting stuff, though! I went to the doc today, and everything's good. I have to start wearing my maternity belt again, hooray...It's unsightly, but it definitely helps, so I guess that's a good thing. I was in and out of there so fast, it almost hurts to know it cost me a hundred bucks for that ten minutes!

So, since I got home from the doctor's office, I've been trying to arrange the baby girl stuff I have so far. First I got all of TJ's winter clothes out and sorted them for sale and keep. Then I got all of Taryn's stuff out and sorted them for hang up now and hold on to until she's bigger. I rearranged TJ's dresser to be TJ and Taryn's dresser, as well as the closet. I'm so excited! You should see all the little pink and purple stuff in there! I figured out what her first outfit to come home in will be, and now that I've decided, I wonder why it didn't hit me as I was buying it! I even have little shoes that will go alright with it! I'll take a pic of it and show you in a little while. I went through the stuff from the shower this weekend, and I have to say, they made it hard b/c they hooked me up! I'm really interested to see how the next one goes, now. She got lots of little dolls, soap and shampoo, plugs (pacifiers), bottle/nipple brushes (you can never have too many of those), blankets (awesome ones, too!) and a few very cute outfits! She even got some hoochie shorts from my other mother Nikki! Trey just shook his head when I showed them to him! (Fear not, Trey, I'll put a onesie under them so no diaper or skin will be showing!) Now I can't wait to be able to get the spare bed out of the room and put in the crib. That will be it, and the room will be almost ready. Then I'll just have to figure out what I'm going to do with the decor (I'm going to have both TJ and Taryn in there, so...), and it'll be set. Maybe I can get Trey to move the bed out this week and I can start to work on it. I don't think anyone else will really be spending the night in there. This is starting to get very thrilling!

Trey told me yesterday that it's starting to hit him that he's going to be having a girl. He couldn't explain what he meant, but just knowing that is making me even more anxious and excited! We're going to have a girl! We're going to have a girl! It's scary even to me!

So I was made aware this past weekend that I am a self-centered and selfish person. I didn't realize this, but it came from two of the most important people in my life, so it must have some ring of truth to it. I don't mean to be as such. I do know that I tend to talk about myself and my life a lot, but that's mainly b/c it's what I know best. I suppose I could try to listen more and talk about other people's lives. Anyway, for those of you that know me, please do let me know when I am being self-centered and selfish. For those that don't, let me know, too. Also, if you know some of the things I do that are selfish, let me know. I am on a quest to improve myself and my life, so I need all the help from you I can get (not to be selfish, just b/c I don't see my flaws as well as others, obviously).

Well, let me see if I can get some of the pics from this weekend posted. Here, just go here and you can see them all. My mom only took pics of me opening presents, so you don't get to see the rest of the festivities. Sorry. Talk to you later. Have a great day and I'll see you soon!

Sometimes I wish I could come up w/better titles for my posts. Oh well...

So I had my first baby shower today! It was SO exciting! Marie had it for me....Thanks so much Marie (even though she doesn't read...slacker!)!!! We had a better turn-out than I thought we would. My Aunt Mabel came, as well as Nikki and Debbie Julian. Johnny came, even though my BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, Mike, didn't come (long story). Julia came, and brought her two total cuties Andrew and Alison. Gayle, Traci and Jennifer also came. Hmmm, did I miss anyone?...Oh, and Kara, my brother's g/f came, too. You'll see pics of her when I get around to posting them here, b/c she sat next to me. Did I mention my mom came, too?

So anyway, we played a couple of games. They were, ummm, interesting...The first one was five diapers w/different candy bars melted in them. The diapers were closed, and we had to just smell them and try to figure out what candy bar was in each diaper. I do love me some chocolate, but I tried to explain to Marie that I don't really look before I eat candy bars, I just shovel them in! I definitely don't smell them! I didn't guess one right! The next game was ten bags of white powders, and again, we had to guess what each was. They were all kitchen products, some cooking materials, some cleaners. We could only look through the ziplock baggy. It was HARD! I think I put flour for about three of them, and bisquick for about four of them. Needless to say, I was wrong! For that matter, she didn't even have Bisquick! She said that if we didn't get them, we were bad moms...Sooooo....I now have to put my kids up for adoption...any takers? There will be others up on other blogs soon, I'm sure, as I was not alone in missing well over half of them! Oh, but I did learn that you can put corn starch on a baby's butt if it's red...that was number 10! Oh, and I got grits right, b/c my mom made them this morning! If she hadn't, I can honestly say I would never have known what they look like! They were pretty fun games, and I think everyone had a pretty good time!

For gifts I got lots of stuff. What's cool is that I didn't get an abundance of clothes, b/c I have enough now for about ten newborns! I did get lots of bottle/nipple brushes and pacifiers, so that's awesome! I got some diapers and lots of pretty pink blankets, too! For some reason I was so worried about having pink blankets for her so that people would know she was a girl! No worries now, for sure! I got a double stroller and carseat from Gayle and Traci, too! I now have everything big that I will need for Taryn! I even got a cute little doll for Taryn's first baby doll! I'm really starting to get into this girl stuff, and it's kinda scaring me! Best part, no frill!

Afterward, I knew Gayle would need to get her TJ fix, so we went downtown b/c Jennifer had never been there before. It was pretty cool. We walked around downtown at the market and ate at T-Bonz. Then we went to Waterfront Park and TJ ran wild! Overall, it was quite nice. I hope Jennifer enjoyed it, even though we didn't really get to give her a good taste of what makes Charleston so cool. Maybe it will make her want to come back and see more...

Well, I'm sure this has already gotten quite long now. I'll try to post some pics soon from the shower. I have to find some that are flattering to me, first! I hope that you all had a wonderful Saturday, that was just as exciting as mine, and I hope that tomorrow is just as great! I'll see you soon! Bye!

This could be a blessing, or not. It's weird first being home, and now it's even more strange being home on his days off and knowing that I don't have to work tomorrow or that I didn't call in to be home with him. It's nice to have him, but my tiny bit of organization for my days is already off b/c he is here. No biggy, though, b/c we're going to Charleston tomorrow for the weekend, and that would have thrown us completely off anyway! Today I'm going to try to clean the house and take advantage of his being home. Wish me luck. He's already moaning and groaning b/c I'm on here!

So, I think you should check out a couple of blogs. Gina's Page has lots of pics of my so adorable neice and nephew! This guy Charles is just really nice to look at, plus he has some interesting ideas and the like. Another nice to look at pic is on Kurt's Page. Who knew he was so cute! Yeah, so if these guys come back here, they're probably going to want to kick me, but hey, oh well!

Did I mention that I have the absolute cutest kid in the world! Oh, and my hubby ain't bad, either. I often wonder how I got so lucky...I think it was the drugs I slipped into his drink the night we met. It could have been that I *supposedly molested him the night we met.

Oh, and we got new fishies, which I think I mentioned before. This time they're guppies. They are so small! TJ, with the help of Daddy, named them Ted and Socks. I think the orange one is Socks, and the yellow one Ted. I'm not sure. Let's see if I can keep them alive!

Alrighty then, I suppose I'll go now. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I'll see you later!

*I did, but I'm sure he loved it!

What love!

The new fishies. Their names are Ted and Socks. Which one is which is beyond me!

My three favorite cups. You'd have to read Monkey Mama's page to know what it's all about. Then you should do it, too!

See, I'm being a good prego! Of course, you didn't see the iced mochacino I treated myself to earlier! See my favorite drinking from glass!

Okay, in an unprecidented feat, I am going to post a picture of me at 7 months. Please don't laugh too much! The wind was blowing in my face, and I can't make me look any better! Don't ask my why I felt the urge, I just did!

So yesterday was a wild day! Well, we did see semi-wild animals...TJ and I had a learning day, and we went to the zoo. We saw all kinds of fun animals and flowers, including snakes and fishies! Afterwards, we went to see Daddy (Trey) at work, and ate lunch/dinner with him. It was so nice to get to sit down with him for a little while and chill out. Plus, we got to show TJ off a little. Usually TJ is in Lancaster when I get the chance to go up there to see Trey. We even went bargain shopping after that, and TJ got a new tape for his radio, which he LOVES. Now I get to hear NSync, Mambo #5 and the like mixed in with his kid music tapes! It's no Korn or NIN (have you heard his new song, so cool!) or Linkin Park, but it's a start, right? Needless to say, I was more tired than when I was working by the time I got to go to bed! This staying at home thing is going to take some getting used to!

So, I don't want to run this thing into the ground, but you should check out Monkey Mama's page if you get a chance, and look at the post "Birds and flowers", and the one right after it. I think it's so fitting for me right now. It kinda sums up my life right now, and how I'm feeling. It also tells about the amazing way I have found to keep positive and upbeat about things. I don't want to be the preachy type for sure, but I am really happy that I decided to let God take over my life. Even though bad stuff keeps happening, it just doesn't bother me anymore. Plus, it seems like great stuff comes from it, and I feel like I'm actually learning more from my problems now. Gotta love life, eh!

So, I had my unemployment appointment today. I won't know for up to three weeks whether or not I am eligible. That kinda sucks. I don't know if I'm that patient. However, I don't really think I have a choice either way. I kinda doubt that anyone really would hire a 7 month pregnant woman who's going to leave in two months. We'll see. The woman who helped me seemed like she didn't want to be there at first, and she had this look on her face that kinda scared me and made me worry. However, a few minutes into the appt., we were going on and on about babies and the like. She was pretty cool. I'm glad she's my case worker, or whatever they are called there. She even fixed it to where I could redo my application and get a little more money due to the base periods changing (please don't ask me what that means, b/c I don't know!). The only thing that I have to worry about, I think, is that the state has their own person unempl. has to go through, and who knows what could happen there. I should know by Friday, though, if there's any disqualifying reason for me being fired (and I'd love to know what it is!). She said she would call me if she hears anything, b/c she's even interested in hearing what the reason is. She asked if I was abusing any students or anything. I told her no, but that the thought had crossed my mind a few times with a few of them! Anyway, if you happen to be praying to win the lottery or what-not, please do me a BIG favor and throw my name in there. I figure God's already made his decision for me, and it's in my best interest, but it couldn't hurt, right?

Something I noticed while I was there is that I didn't feel like I fit in. I mean, I'm sure every kind of person gets fired, and I'm probably being stupid, but...I overheard people talking around me while I waited, and the girl next to me said they "owed" her back unemployment. Another guy was like, "Yeah, well, you know, I get fired and then I get my check." I just didn't feel like my attitude was the same. To me, if I get accepted, this will be a total blessing, and I will be so appreciative. I really need this money. I mean, I guess they do, too, but...Oh, I don't know! I just know I was wishing I hadn't said the stupid comments (such as, "I wish I could get fired!") I did, b/c I see now they worked. I felt kinda bad to have to go there, and it just added to the humiliation of being fired. Like, who gets fired from teaching jobs except those who have sex w/their students or abuse them? Oh, just me.

Oh, and I have one more confession to make, which I have avoided talking about. Spike and Water died. We came home yesterday and found Spike "sleeping" at the top of the water. Water bit the dust about a week ago. I felt so bad, like I am a bad parent. I mean, who tries to teach their child responsibility, then kills all the fish! I went to the store today and had the water tested. Thankfully, although still sad, it wasn't my fault. Well, not exactly. We had too much ammonia in our water, and our tank was not meant for goldfish. So, we have guppies now. Supposedly they will be fine. They better, b/c they cost over $3 a pop! I got two, and later I think I will ask TJ what he wants to call them. I'm kinda glad he doesn't seem to care that all the other ones died, b/c I would have a terrible time trying to explain that right now! I'm so not ready for that talk!

Oh, one more thing and I promise I'll go. Yesterday at the zoo there were two turtles going at it. All the parents were freaking out and laughing, and wondering what to tell the kids. I said they were playing leap frog and got stuck! Then TJ and I had the talk. I told him, "See those turtles, TJ? That's how you came to the world, but Mommy and Daddy weren't turtles." He seemed to be cool with that, b/c he didn't ask anything further. Anyway, I thought that was pretty funny!

Okay, I'm leaving, really. I'll talk to you later, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

So, we woke up today and went to church. I was kinda excited, b/c we were having a cookout after the service, and it was casual day. My Sunday school class was in charge of cooking, so we were excused from class and the service. It ended up that all the women really did was sit around and talk, but it was fun. We went to the nursery (many of us have little ones) and let the kids play while the men cooked. I liked hanging out, and feel like I got to know some of my fellow churchgoers even better. I like them. They're great people, yet they can still accept me with my "special" personality! Plus, I got to see who all the kids are in TJ's age group. He's moving up to the bigger boy room next week...My baby's growing up! So I got the names and addresses of all of the people in my class, and I plan to invite them to the shower. Hopefully they won't think I'm a freak since I don't know them REALLY well yet. I mean, I've been going pretty religiously to class now for a couple of months, but...They are all really fun people, though, and who better to invite, right!

So we went to the cookout, and it was so cool! They saved me a seat at the table that all my classmates sat at. That made me feel pretty dog-gone special! After we ate, TJ and I went outside to play. They had big bubble things that you just dip in and wave around, and TJ had a blast with them! All the little kids did, and it was so cool! Of course, he also thought it funny to take the bubble wand and rub it all over me while covered in bubble juice, but hey, at least it's soap! He managed somehow to cover himself in it! After that we played croquet, if you could call it that. We hit the ball around some. I never actually knew what that game was all about, and I still don't, but I liked it. One day I may have to invest in a croquet set.

As we were going to leave, we saw a lot of kids at the playground, so I decided to let TJ to go play a little while longer. There was a little boy there that was a bit older than TJ, and while we were there I gave TJ some fruit snacks. He was carrying them around w/him, and the other little boy took them from him. I didn't see it, but TJ came running to me crying his little eyes out. Everyone thought he must have fallen down or something, but then we saw the other little boy w/the snacks in his hand. He was shoving them into his mouth. His parents made him give them back, and there were two left. I told TJ that the other little boy wanted some, so he should eat one and give one to him. He did, totally willingly, and it was so cool! I was so proud! Then, his parents gave me another pack of snacks, so I told TJ to share them with him, and he totally did! I'm so excited! My little boy is learning good manners! Isn't it great! That's one thing I will make sure TJ and Taryn have is manners. I can't stand people with bad manners!

Oh, and let me tell you something that is not great. When you run to the store to get stuff you really need, and when you go to check out you realize that you left all your money at home! I had to go all the way home and get my card, then come back! I hope I learned from that...Something great, though, is that my total bill was $49, and that was after I saved $25! That's pretty cool, eh? I love saving money!

Okay, I guess that's enough. I'll talk to you later, and I hope you have a magnificent day! Tomorrow starts the beginning of my new stay at home mom life. Wish me luck!

You should check out this blog:

http://2wildmonkeys.blogspot.com/

She has twin 2 year old girls, and she's ga-ga over them, much as I am over TJ. I think her writing is cute and funny. Plus, she has tons of pics of her too cute babies!

I have a feeling that rain days are going to start meaning a whole lot more to me now. When I was at work, they didn't really affect my day. However, now, if it rains I can't go outside and play w/TJ! That kinda took away half of my plans for the day. We got by, though.

So, today had some nice events. Trey was off, and for dinner we cooked together and made a scrumptious and delicious dinner. It was the best meal I've had in a while, and what was best about it is that I helped make it! Even TJ helped! We had steaks (rib-eye, I think), mashed potatoes, squash and zucchini cooked all squishy, and the best green beans I've had in a while. Trey cooked them for me the way I was imagining them--fresh ones in olive oil, lemon juice and minced garlic (I love garlic!)--with a nice bite to them. Delish! Oh, and we had garlic bread, too. It was the only thing we knew from the start that we wanted. Everything else just kinda grew from there. For dessert we made strawberry shortcake. It was so nice. I like doing that kind of stuff, and to me it was better than going out to dinner or partying for sure.

I did something today that could have crushed me, or made my day. Thank goodness it made my day! I went online and found the email addresses of the people I used to work with at DJJ and emailed them good-bye emails. Unfortunately I didn't finally figure out how I could get the addresses until about 2:45-3. I went ahead and sent them, knowing that most of the people had already left for the weekend. However, two women, whom I really hoped would, wrote back, and they may not know it, but they totally made my day. Louisa, who was at the birthday party, wrote and said that she was hoping I'd get in touch w/her, since she couldn't find anything out about me, and that she will call me tomorrow. Carole Anne (sp?) told me to give her a call or an email sometime and that she missed me. You don't know how much better that made me feel! I could really care less about working at DJJ anymore, or for that matter, even the fact that I got fired (it upsets me some, but the same people that I'm upset at I was upset at when I worked there!). I really do miss my students, which I still wonder why, and I wish I could have said bye to them. However, what upset me the most was the thought that maybe once I got fired everyone said, "Well, she's a total idiot and good riddance." I had some pretty decent friends there, and I was so hoping that I wasn't just totally forgotten as of Monday. It really made me happy to know that it was at least noticed that I was gone. It's kinda sad that of all things, that's what I'm worried about the most, but sometimes you just need to know that you meant something to someone, right? I really wonder if any of my students are upset or care that I'm gone. I had one that told me Monday morning he wished that I would just go ahead and leave. If only he knew what he was about to get! There were a few in particular that I really do miss and wish I could see just one more time. They were so special to me--well, they all were, even the ones that hated me! I know they are mad b/c we were supposed to eat (we had cooking lessons for rewards for good behavior) on Tuesday, and here I went and got fired on Monday! I hope they know it wasn't my fault, and that even if I knew I was going to get fired Tuesday afternoon, I still would have wanted to be there long enough to give them their just rewards. I also hope to goodness that someone gives them there certificates of excellence that I made and hung on the wall for them. I know for a fact that there were a couple of guys that really, really wanted it, and that had worked hard to get one. I wish I had thought of that before I left. Perhaps I should try to contact someone to see if they can get them to them for me. I sure do miss them. I can't talk about this anymore, it's making me sad, and I want to cry now...

Oh, but I'm glad that some of my work friends do still like me. Almost my entire baby shower at the end of the month was work people. Perhaps I can still invite them and have some show up.

One more thing that is making me happy about being out of work. It feels so weird, yet so great to know that every night when I put TJ to bed, I can say I'll see him in the morning. I used to only see him four or so nights a week, and I knew that only two of those days could I wake up with him in the morning (I was usually gone to work the other days). Now I know that everyday I can put him to bed, and I can wake up with him. It's the greatest feeling in the world!

Oh, and a question: Do any of you go back when reading others' blogs and recheck the comments from the last posts? Just wanted to know. I know I do, to see if anyone else wrote anything, or commented on mine.

Okay, you guys have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

Man, oh man am I sore and tired! We emptied out our house today, and goodness do we have a lot of JUNK! I must have filled about ten trash bags with trash, and that doesn't even include all the trash that got packed and brought here that we didn't feel like sorting through at the time! I can not understand how I have accumulated so much stuff in such a short lifetime. It explains a lot to me, though. I can't wait to be able to go through it all and get rid of it. What a burden that will be! I'm going to sort through it and have a garage sale, since we now officially have a garage that we're renting! What's funny to me is how attached to all of his junk Trey is.

We met the man who's buying our house tonight, too. He came right near when we were finished packing. He seems really nice. Plus, he's really excited about the house, which is so great to me. He brought a whole bunch of his buddies over to start moving stuff in, and they were all seeing it for the first time. They were having the same experience that we had, and that our friends and family had when we brought them there the first time! You'd have to see it to understand, but when you come in the front door it's just really awesome! The front door brings you in upstairs, and immediately ahead of you is a balcony that looks down on the HUGE living room, complete with an entire wall of shelving unit that's just right for TONS of knick-knacks and what-not. (yeah, packing up all that crap was not fun!) The only thing that upsets me is that he and his friends smoke, and they were walking all over the house doing it. I mean, I guess I don't live there anymore, so it's not my place to care, but....Well, you know how it is. It excites me, though, that he's so excited to get moved in. He didn't show up until around 10 tonight, and he wasn't supposed to start until tomorrow, so you can tell he doesn't want to wait anymore. This all just makes finally selling my house even more great. I really wanted the person who bought it to love it as much as we did. It is a totally awesome house, and it was so sad to see it all emptied of our stuff...

Well, I guess that's it for now. I have had a LONG day that I'm sure to regret for the next week or so. I am so tired, and my whole body hurts! I'm sure TJ will be up bright and early tomorrow, and full of energy, so I better get my butt to bed to get ready for him! I hope you all have a super day, and I'll see you later!