Monday, August 14, 2006
Guilt?
I think Julia and family may have thought I was kidding tonight. While I was working, I crashed a cookout at her mom's house for a bit, b/c I didn't want to take any more pizzas out (although my tips were actually pretty good), so I figured I could waste a little time there before I was scheduled to get off. Anyway, while I was there, I told them all that I seriously thought about putting my kids up for adoption this morning. I meant it. All week long I've felt like crap, and I have just wanted my kids to go away. I just don't feel like it. I decided this morning that I just don't cut it in the mom world, and that maybe they'd be better off w/one of those overachiever moms. I mean, they are super-smart, and I know they could benefit from someone who was willing to put the time and effort into the job of raising them. Everyone kinda chuckled when I said it, which I suppose is good. I mean, who wants some weirdo crashing their cookout and divulging that she wants to rid herself of her kids? I'm really, really just hoping this is all b/c I'm pregnant. I really, really do...b/c I really do love my kids, and I would die w/o them. Oh, but there are some days...It's like there are two of them trying to beat me on the outside, and one trying to beat me on the inside! I can't win! I did start reading this book I've had forever this morning. I think it's called Guilt-Free Parenting. I've only read the first few pages, since I basically had a few minutes during lunch, but so far I like it. I'm hoping I start to feel less like a loser mom from reading it. Wish me luck.

Anyway, on a good note, I did pretty well at work this weekend. I am so proud of myself. I made $62 on Friday! Then last night I made $40 or so, and tonight I made $37. Not bad considering it was pretty darn dead last night and tonight. It was so dead tonight I was just plain bored. I begged to be cut, but I was the only one she didn't cut. I think I asked too much. Julia said it's like when your kids ask you for candy to the point that you don't want to give it to them just b/c they asked too much. Yep, that was me tonight. I was so tired. Then I got some coffee, though, and I felt much better. Of course, by then it was pretty much time for me to get off!

Alright, I guess that's good for now. I hope you all are having a great day, and I'll see you again soon.
 
posted by Christi at 12:11 AM | Permalink |


7 Comments:


  • At 7:50 AM, Blogger Julia

    You said the same kind of thing when you were pregnant with Taryn. You can come drop them off with me for a while if you need a break. It sounds like you're overwhelmed at the moment.

     
  • At 10:18 AM, Blogger holy chaos

    that is a great idea, julia... it is so hard when they are that little and are so needy. it is tough being a mom in the stage that you are in. just some time to yourself will help alot. i think all moms have felt like you...even the "super -achiever" moms. maybe they do what they do out of guilt... maybe???

    take care...

    natalie

     
  • At 11:45 AM, Blogger Jillian

    Well, you and I can share a table to sell them, cuz I've had the same kinda week. It'll all be okay. I promise. Breathe, relax, and TAKE A NAP.... or maybe a xanax, those always help me! :-)

     
  • At 11:53 AM, Blogger gina

    welcome to motherhood. it is normal. we have ALL felt it at one point or another. there! does that make you feel better?

     
  • At 3:44 PM, Blogger holy chaos

    xanax,wine,lexapro... take your choice...too bad they are addictive = )

     
  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger Kurt

    I'll take one if he/she's a good sweeper or mopper.

     
  • At 10:47 AM, Blogger Christi

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