Trey told me he had put Taryn down for a nap in the afternoon yesterday. He went to check on her after a little while, and this is how it went:

Trey: Hey, where did you get those Pringles? I didn't even know we had any.
Taryn: I don't have any.
Trey: They're right there. And you ate them all.
Taryn: I didn't.
Trey: Yes you did.
Taryn: I need a drink. I wanna party. WHOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm not sure if that's verbatim, but I do know for a fact she said she wanted to party and WHOOOOOOOOO! That kid's nuts!

So, I have angst. Yesterday, the local children went back to school. As I was finishing up my paper route, I started to see them scattered about on various street corners, in the dark no doubt. It scared the crap out of me, b/c the first time I realized they were there, it was when I almost hit a little girl! This is not what brings me troubles, though. What's bothering me is that I'm at odds with my whole world right now.

I desperately want to home school my children. At this moment in time, I'm not quite ready. I can't get my act together so that I can insure that they get everything they need on a daily basis. That's why I'm going to try to get fixed at the psychiatrist. It's the only reason, b/c all of the other problems I have I've known about for years, and I'm fine with them. If I can just get my focus issues fixed so I can plan and execute and organize, I'll be good to go.

However, I'm the only person in my life who is behind my plan (well, except for Julia!). I am tired of people asking me when TJ will be starting school. I am tired of them saying, "When he's in school..." I am tired of saying that I plan to home school and getting a lecture on why he needs to be in school. I am so tired that I just go along anymore and try to avoid the question altogether or just answer something vague to get them to leave me alone. It's as though everyone I know has done tons of research on homeschooling, and I've done none. The fact remains that that is exactly the opposite of the truth. I have done plenty of research on the subject. I have read books, looked online, spoken with people, seen real-life examples, contacted organizations, and gone to stores focused on homeschooling curriculum. I know about different types of homeschooling, different curriculum, and different scheduling options. I know about the sacrifices that come with keeping your children at home with you during the day, and I know about what they will miss out on. I know my stuff, I'm not just some chick that woke up this morning and thought it would be fun.

It might surprise you to know, as well, that I also know about the other side of the coin. What I have that other parents that home school may not have on their side is knowledge of the inner workings of the public school arena. Lest we not forget that I was once a teacher, and saw how the education system works. I was also a student, in the best district in the state. I studied at a college level, as well, and was given the opportunity to observe and practice in many classes throughout the area, including private schools. I got to talk to many teachers about their thoughts on education, and I spoke with parents as well. I know a lot about what schools have to offer, and what they lack. I even had the chance to work with those students who benefited the very least from public education, and instead chose crime. I've been there, done that. I've weighed out my options, the choices, the benefits, the consequences and everything I can think of pertaining to the decision between homeschooling and public school.

My mom says she thinks I should send the kids to private school. Well, I can't even afford preschool right now, and that's NOTHING compared to paying for private school. So that's out, unless she would like to find me a nice, wealthy benefactor that would like to fund my children's education. You can bet, though, that they will be attending only the best, b/c if they stayed home, that's what I would be giving them!

I get the argument most often that the children need socialization. My children have NO problem socially. They make friends quite easily, and are not in the least bit shy. Equally, they know better than to talk to strangers w/o my approval first, and don't aren't quick to befriend just anyone. Sure, I know there are some things that they won't get at home that they could at school, but I don't think it will make that big of a difference in the long run. I do want to work more on getting them a set group of friends their own age. Right now, they have friends, but they are different ages, and there are times when the age gap does inhibit some activities. However, they also learn a lot from their older counterparts, and from the younger ones, so I think it's great they have friends out of their age range, which is something you don't get a lot of in school.

Anyway, I think I've gone on long enough. I had to vent. I'm just so wanting people to see that I'm not out of my gourd. I do know what I'm doing, and I know what's best for my children. I just wish that everyone else would give me that credit!

I hope you have a great day! Talk to you later!