Wednesday, June 14, 2006
The End of the Line...
It's over, I quit. This is the end for me. I won't be doing this again...

And really, you can't blame me. I can not have another baby, and I won't even be trying (that means, not even "accidentally" getting pregnant). This will surely be the last kid I have. By have, I mean give birth to. Honestly, I hope it's not the last kid I have. In my future, I really hope to be able to either adopt kids in need, or become foster parents for kids in need. That, however, will have to remain on the back burner until my own kids have grown up a bit, and we are able both financially and mentally.

Anyway, back to this baby. The last one. This news, I'm sure, will come as a happy thrill to at least some people in my life who are still wondering why I'm even having a third. I will admit that a while back I watched a clip of a news show about a family that had 16 or 17 kids. While I was watching it, I was trying to figure out how I could make something like that work, and if I thought I was up to the challenge. I really didn't, and still don't, want 16 kids, but I see families with five kids work fine all the time. Five isn't that bad. So the thought has crossed my mind...

However, it won't be happening. Now, I'll admit, this baby is a little sooner than he should have been. I don't think my body had time to quite get over Taryn. I was just noticing my hair going back to normal when I found out I was prego. So I know that that fact is not helping matters anyway. I had a hard pregnancy with Taryn, though, and she came two years after TJ was born, which I think is a pretty good amount of recoup time. This pregnancy is even harder already. Not only have I felt completely blah and out of it, but I am in pain any and everywhere in my body that I can have pain. I waddle around during the days in pain, and I'm just barely showing! I'm not sleeping well, my inner thighs hurt like I was in an 18 hour orgy, and I was the main event, my head hurts constantly, and now even my wrists hurt from using them to pick my heavy self up! I like to sit on the floor and play with the little people, but lately, I sit with them only when necessary, and I have no want to pay them the least bit of attention. It sucks. TJ has started having "accidents" and peeing everywhere but in the toilet, and I think it's b/c he's not getting anything but attention for the bad stuff he does lately. Thank God for Trey and his helping out when he's home, but what on earth am I going to do starting next week when he's gone five days a week?

I'm hoping that once we move, things will calm down a little. I won't have to watch people's kids anymore, and I won't have to worry about the move anymore, either. I figure once we settle in, and get some sort of routine down, my mind might come back again. I hope! Anyway, what I was getting at is that having these kids has killed my body. Before I had TJ, I never had any troubles (well, except headaches), and ever since I had him, I've now had a bad hip that's gotten progressively worse with each child. There's more, but I won't bore you with the details. So, I've decided that my time after Nov. will be spent taking care of the three little people that I have already, and not making anymore.

Well, I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!
posted by Christi at 11:25 PM | Permalink |


  • At 2:12 AM, Blogger Julia

    Oh, you poor dear! That Mommy guilt can be overwhelming. Yes, TJ will get the attention he needs eventually and it's very normal for you to not feel so good. When I was pregnant with Alison, other than the throwing up, the guilt over not paying enough attention to Andrew was the worst part, and I only have him to care for. I can only imagine having TJ AND Taryn. Whatever your insufficiencies are right now, you're not ruining him for life, and I've always thought a little neglectfulness doesn't allow them to think they are the center of the world. Just try to think of it as a good life lesson. At least you still have a sense of humor. When I read this:

    my inner thighs hurt like I was in an 18 hour orgy, and I was the main event

    I nearly spit out my drink.

  • At 7:21 AM, Blogger aka_Meritt

    Oh my. LOL. Well, rest assure that you are probably just having a rough week.

    It's highly possible that in 2 more weeks you are going to feel better, TJ will be over his accidents and everything will look a little more cheery. (It could happen!) ;)

  • At 9:00 AM, Blogger Kurt

    You're pregnant!?

  • At 12:35 PM, Blogger holy chaos

    you're are too funny! I am with you-I can understand your pain!

  • At 2:38 PM, Blogger Carrie

    hey sister;

    can I get a whup whup?

    ok, just kidding, but I do hear EXACTLY where you're coming from, and I only have rhena to tend to.

    Meritt hit on a good point in that this could just be a hormonal swing for you. it's TOTALLY understandable... I mean SHEEEE-IT. pregnant, moving, working, throw in some kids and this LOVELY summer weather.....

    hang in there. You're a fabulous mom, a caring and wonderful woman, and EVERYONE will not just survive, but THRIVE from having been around you.