Friday, December 02, 2005
Okay, how is it that you can ruin a perfectly good day by going shopping for clothes for yourself? Sure, so you're wondering now if I did. Well, no. I'm broke. However, I was thinking about it today. Let me start from the start (don't worry, it's short and idiotic):

Okay, so I told TJ that we could go to the playground today b/c we've been cooped up all week sick, and we needed to get out and get some fresh air and move. He was overjoyed. I went to get dressed, and I put on my favorite pair of Old Navy jeans and a t-shirt. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom. I felt pretty good, and thought I didn't look half bad. Yeah, so I'm overweight, but you know what, I'm learning to live with it and accept it. Now, I don't find myself so grotesque! So anyway, then I put on my favorite Old Navy hoody sweatshirt, and looked again. I was afraid it wasn't going to fit anymore, but it looked pretty damn good! I was quite happy. I thought, "Man, I wish I had more clothes that made me feel good like this." (I happen to think the jeans make my butt look nicer than most pants I own) So, I thought that maybe I would go shopping if I ever get some money, and buy some more. Then I got depressed, just like that. I had a flashback to every time I ever go shopping, and how upset I get as I try on clothes that I'm sure are going to look great on me while I'm picking them, then look HORRIBLE on. I am lacking a decent wardrobe. I can blame it on having a baby, and outgrowing stuff, and lack of money. Yes, that is most of it. However, if I had money, I feel like I probably would still have the same problem. I am so shell-shocked at having to look bad in dressing room mirrors, that I get miserable just at the thought of buying new clothes. Do you know where most of my clothes come from? My mom. She buys stuff for me on clearances and at great bargains, and I love her for it. However, she is never concerned about whether or not my butt will look good, or if it will fit just right, just about the deal and if it's my size. So, I end up looking like my clothes were a bargain, and for a reason. Why can't I just learn to accept who I am, and move on? Just be happy I'm able to move and, oh, I dunno, lift my arms above my head and bend my knees or something! What's funny is that I know most of my friends are not supermodels, either, yet I always think they look so good, and I'm jealous of how great they look and the fact that they can find clothes that actually fit them. I would venture to guess that I'm not a whole lot bigger than most of them, but it sure feels like it.

Well, anyway, I don't know where that came from, but it's there now, and I have no plans on deleting it (I mean, it did take a few minutes of typing and a little thought, you know!).

Okay, if you read this before 10 am (Eastern time) tomorrow, I have an interview for a job I would really like to get. Please pray for me that it works out. I think maybe God wants me to get this job. I hope. Anyway, if it works out, I'll let you know all about it. If not, then screw you! Okay, just kidding. If not, then, ummm, well, I dunno. So, let's just make sure I get it, and then we know what will happen, okay.

Oh, and Taryn is sitting herself up now. Today, I looked over at her, and she had herself propped in a sitting (well, almost) position, and was holding herself up with her hands. I swear, she scares me....but I guess in a good way! I love that girl!

One more thing...while you're praying (even if it's after 10 am), could you also pray for a little boy named Zachary? He's a baby in TX, and he's about three days old now. He's got a hole in his lung and double pneumonia, and they don't know if he'll make it or not. He's distantly related to a good friend of mine, and she really would appreciate it if anyone could offer any good thoughts they could. He needs all the help he can get. Thanks.

Alrighty then. I guess that's all for my random, prayer-request day! I hope you're having a great day yourself, and I'll see you soon!
posted by Christi at 1:14 AM | Permalink |


  • At 7:47 AM, Blogger Jillian

    I think its just a girl thing, cuz I'm the exact same way when I got shopping. I've finally gotten to the point of taking someone else with me to tell me if it looks good on me or not. I think it's just my view, not really my body. I take my best friend Big Gay Steve with me and he tells me when stuff looks good, or if stuff looks bad. Shop with a friend (and if you're like me, good luck finding one to shop with) it'll make you feel better. I always try to shop with female friends that are bigger than me, then I don't feel bad grabbing the size 15 off the rack! It's nice once in a while to have someone envy your size. I absolutely at all cost avoid shopping with 'skinny bitches' cuz if they're looking for a size 00, I can't help but want to strangle them. Good Luck on the job. Prayers are with you!!

  • At 11:18 AM, Blogger Anvilcloud

    Good luck on your interviews and in accepting the only body that you'll ever have. And you know what? As much as it grieves you now, I'll lay odds that your present financial troubles will make you an even better person in the long run. Let's get back to this in twenty years, if I'm still around. Okay?