Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I should be excited
Okay, so today was a BAD day. It seems now that my son not only can't make it to the bathroom in time to pee most of the time, but he also seems to think it quite funny, and actually peed on the floor today, in front of me, to piss me off, and gave an evil grin about the whole issue. (wow, what a run-on sentence!) I was not happy. It may not have been so bad, had it not been the fourth pair of soiled underwear and the third pee stain I had to clean up off of the floor already today (and it was only 1:30!). Did I clean it up, you ask? Oh hell no! I made his little devilish butt do it himself!

Nevertheless, though, that's not all. I'll just say that today was really bad. So bad that I called everyone I could think of, and finally gave up (not home, busy, etc.) and called Trey at work in a desperate moment to have someone help me regain what little sanity I had left before I did something I would regret. He suggested I take them to his mom's house to stay for the night. I'm not overly excited at the thought of them going there, but the idea was just too good to pass up. So, finally, tonight at 8:00, they climbed into Nana's car and off they went.

Now tell me this--Why is it that I should be elated and thrilled to have gotten rid of my kids for a day (I have tomorrow off!), but instead all I can think of is how much I miss them already and when they are coming back? I am so sad.

I'm wondering lately if I'm not the worst mom in the world. I have asked, and been told that I'm not, but I'm beginning to think people are just being nice. TJ has become more than I can handle, both mentally and physically. He was better when I first brought Taryn home, which makes me wonder if his behavior is b/c of her. I keep thinking that maybe now it is worse b/c she actually wants attention more and demands it. He keeps hitting her lately. Time out is not working, no matter how consistent I am with it. Nothing is. I'm going to admit something in total shame--I swatted him on the butt the other night, hard. I did it b/c I couldn't think of anything else to do, and he was being reprehensible. The worst part is that all he did was yell at me for hitting him! He was not at all phased, AT ALL. He has fits all day everyday, about nothing. He hits and throws things when he gets mad. He won't go to sleep for naps or for bed. He won't sit down to eat. He sucks. So do I. I just have the feeling I was too slack before, and now he just thinks I'm a joke. Yes, my mom was right. I was too afraid to hurt his feelings, and now look where I've ended up. I've become the screaming and mad mom that I dread. I want to be a stellar mom, but I'm not. It's not for lack of trying, and reading every possible child-rearing book, article, website, etc. I can find. I am a wealth of information when it comes to how to discipline a child. Does any of it work for me? No. I need Nanny Joe(SuperNanny) or Nanny Deb (Nanny 911) desperately. I even try all of their stuff, and they make it look so easy. It's not. I need support, a LOT of it. I know I need to spend more time with him each day, and that would help some (I stress the word SOME). I've made a schedule with playtime together scheduled in, but it's not enough, and I'm SO TIRED of doing these dumb little kid things. I keep trying to get together with people, and it never works. I can't do this anymore!!!!!!

Hi, I'm sorry for that. I needed to vent a lot. Maybe my free time tomorrow (getting the car fixed!) will give me the much needed break and let me clear my mind some and get refreshed and ready to tackle the babies again. We'll see. Until then, have a good day, and I'll talk to you later.
 
posted by Christi at 11:26 PM | Permalink |


9 Comments:


  • At 8:16 AM, Blogger gina

    as sad as it is, it sounds normal. dont be down on yourself... we all have days (weeks) . you gotta keep on keeping on.
    yeah, i think it is something in the air- sorry i couldn't get together - lets just say it would not have been good... bad week all around.

     
  • At 9:13 AM, Blogger Cara

    I'm a stay at home too Christi, it's really hard! I agree with Gina, my son is being a ringtailed tooter this week too!
    Love your blog, I'll be back for sure. You were asking... My son Dawson is 2 he will be 3 in March, he is just REALLY big for his age. And I do have a 10 year old sister and a 9 year old brother. Wild huh? I was an only child until I was 16! anyway.. Talk to you soon..

     
  • At 9:33 AM, Anonymous Suze

    I hear ya! They totally know how to push out buttons, don't they? It's amazing how quickly little guys who've only been on this earth for 2.5 years can figure out the ways to piss us off the most. Heh. I was laughing at myself this morning, because I always seem to be rushing to get Daniel out the door to preschool. I rush like I've never rushed before. You can drop them off anywhere from 8:00 to 8:30 and I always try to get there as close to 8:00 as possible to get the maximum possible time. I don't know if you want any advice or not, but I'll give it anyway -- it might be good to back off potty-training for a couple of days and just let things settle back down a bit. And then try it again. Just a thought. We've been reading D the potty book for a while and we have the little potties and he'll sit on the potty. One day, I decided to be more proactive about potty-training, and by the end of the day, he was saying "NO POTTY!" So, we just backed off again. I'm kind of hoping that he'll pick some things up at preschool b/c there are one or two kids who are potty-trained already, but we'll try it again soon. Anyway, I hope today goes better.

     
  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger TBG

    Good luck. I dont have any advice for you but hang in there you are a good mom that just needs to find the right discipline for TJ, every child is different.

    A solution to this peeing issue. Is stop completely put him in diapers and tell him until he can act like a big boy and use the potty the right way then he will have to wear diapers like a baby. When he is ready to act like a big boy you can try this potty thing again. Just a suggestion even though I said I wasnt going to give one. But the peeing on you and everywhere besides the potty is definitly something that needs to be resolved.

    Good Luck and enjoy your day kid free.

     
  • At 11:29 AM, Blogger Echo

    You can take mine. I won't mind a bit! lol jk

    I agree with Suze. I think he's trying to test you, so maybe taking away the privilege of wearing undies (or just backing off for a bit, however you prefer to go about it) might be beneficial. I have a friend that does a sticker chart for her 2½-year-old son (he has a little brother and being nice around him is on the chart) - she says it works well for him.

     
  • At 11:34 AM, Blogger Anvilcloud

    A break in any schedule is a treat to enjoy.

     
  • At 1:47 PM, Blogger doer

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  • At 2:46 PM, Blogger Mel

    He's at a tough age. I highly recommend "Parenting with Love and Logic" (Cline & Faye). Hang in there and enjoy your day off!

     
  • At 2:55 PM, Blogger Cheeks

    wow...

    go curl up on the couch, and be lazy

    youve earned it