Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I can think of no greater love
Okay, on with my rant from the other day, sorta...

So I read Echo's post today, and Kristin's as well. Both of them were talking about how in love they are with their babies. I can't agree more with them. The other day, when I actually began my post, it was meant to be about how much in love with my babies I am right now. Somehow it turned into something about how my life has changed...which pretty much is directly related to my overwhelming love!


Echo has two babies, one three and one that's almost two. I have hung out with her a couple of times now, and what really excited me was that she is as in love with her little ones as I am with mine. While we were out eating the other day, Jaiden said, "I taste Coke!" when she took a sip of Echo's drink. It was so cute! Echo was so excited, and she so hoped I had heard it, too. I love that! I think TJ is so cute, and that he says and does the most adorable stuff all the time. I want everyone to hear and see it, and they better think it's as funny or precious as I do! I'm quite sure that everytime he says something, everyone I know hears about it, sometimes many times. For instance, yesterday, TJ answered my mom's phone when it rang, and thankfully it was Julia calling. He was like, "Hello? Hello?" I heard someone saying something (I was on my cell phone, and couldn't get there in time), and then CLICK! Okay, yeah, it was probably not the coolest thing, but I thought it was so cute! So once I'd talked to Julia and found out he hadn't hung up on some life threatening news (or my mom!), I immediately called my mom to tell her all about it! I keep my phone with me at all times, I believe, just so I can make sure to call someone right away to tell them all about what wonders TJ lets me witness! As much as the boy drives me nuts day in and day out, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!...", I can not get enough of him! My favorite moments with him are tied. One is early in the morning, when I wake up and roll over and he's there (yes, he climbs into our bed in the middle of the night every night, and maybe it's wrong, but I don't care!). I absolutely LOVE to put my arm around his tiny little body and snuggle with his sleeping little self! He'll cuddle all up on me, and it's just so sweet! It makes my insides go all gooey! The other one is at random times during the day. He'll come up to me out of the blue and give me a hug, and say, "I love you. Gimme a kiss." Again, I turn to pudding (yes, chocolate, of course!). I love him more than life itself. I truly thought I could love no one more than that little man...

And then came Taryn. Oh my goodness! I worried throughout my whole pregnancy about not loving her enough. I mean, TJ has been the center of my world for over two years now. Surely no one else would be able to just walk into that. I figured it would take time, maybe a few months, to get to know her, and that I would have to learn to love her as much as TJ. I was so wrong! That child came out, and all of that fear was thrown to the curb! She is absolutely PERFECT! As perfect as TJ! I can't get enough of her! Today, I went to Julia's house for a little while, and only took TJ. Taryn stayed behind at my mom's house. When I got home, she was asleep, and I instantly felt my heart drop. I wanted so bad to just pick her up and love all over her and talk to her and just hold her all snuggly up on me! She's got the most gorgeous smile, with the cutest little dimples (from where, I have no idea!). We have the best conversations about nothing! She so openly loves and adores me, and it makes me get a little teary when she gets so excited to see me! My favorite moments with her are early in the morning, when no one else is awake yet (including me!), and she greets me with the biggest smile! Then I go to feed her, and she can't manage to finish the bottle for an hour b/c she's too busy trying to smile at me around the nipple! As much as I don't want to be awake, I'm just as excited to see her as she is me! Another one is when we are lying on the floor and having our "talks". She absolutely loves talking to me! I'll come up and go "Ahhhhh," and she'll coo and ahh back to me! She's already even learned about how conversations involve back and forth banter, and how we have to wait till the other person's done talking first! I didn't think there could have been a baby as good and sweet as TJ was, and man was I wrong! I daresay Taryn is even better! God must truly love me to have blessed me the way He has!

I loved what Kristen said on her first post back from the hospital. She said, "I comprehended that my life would change in the same way a teenager understands that he will get old some day, or a child understands that she'll be an adult some day." No words that I have ever heard can explain the miracle of having a child better than those. That's what I love the most about Kristen is her explicitly poetic use of the English language, and how she can make one simple comment and make it mean so much. Her new child, Nolan Robert, is so lucky to have a wonderful mom like her! Anyway, back to my point...She is so right! I remember being pregnant with TJ. I was eager, and I knew that I would love him. I couldn't wait to meet him. I knew that my life would change, in that I would have to lose sleep and change diapers and the like. Never in my wildest dreams could I ever have known that a little person could pull at my heartstrings the way he did! I feel deep loving pains in my chest all the time that just come from nowhere, and make my whole body shiver. It's the greatest thing in the world! I never thought that I could care more for someone else than I do myself, but I would rather die than let any little thing happen to my children. I never knew what was about to hit me! Then, during my pregnancy with Taryn, I was sure nothing new would come. Again, I got hit in the head with a ton of bricks! It's strange, I love her in a different way, yet I love her the same. I love her just as much as I do TJ (where does it all come from!?). I just can't get over it. I truly understand now why people have multiple children, despite all of the hurdles that must be faced. Who could pass up that incredible love that you get to feel not once, but twice, three times, over and over again?

I have been given a charge, to make sure that these children are raised to the best of my ability. I have to say it's the hardest job I've ever had, and definitely the most stressful. It's a career I can't imagine not having, and one that I will put my every ounce of being into!

While I'm on it, congrats to Kristen on your new little miracle, Nolan Robert. He is gorgeous! Thanks for renewing the excitement for me!

I'm out! I hope you have a fantastic day, and I'll talk to you later!
 
posted by Christi at 11:02 PM | Permalink |


8 Comments:


  • At 4:50 AM, Blogger Kristin

    Thanks Christi...I loved your comment back to my post too. I am beginning to understand what all the fuss is about.

     
  • At 7:53 AM, Blogger gina

    and you know what the funny thing about what you just wrote is? deep down, NO one thinks that anyone could love their own child as much as you love yours! LOL

     
  • At 8:13 AM, Blogger Renee

    Gina you are so right!lol

    Another greta post and the pictures are so great! i can NOT believe how much Taryn has grown!!

    Hey where did you get the spiderman chair?!!

     
  • At 11:02 AM, Blogger Mandi

    Christi, I didn't think it was possible to love anything as much as I love my son! It's promising to hear from another fairly new mom that you do love your second as much as your first!

    Gina, great point!

     
  • At 7:14 PM, Blogger Echo

    :D Aw! Well, my plan is working .. you think I'm awesome! LOL

    JK - I think you rock, too.

    And it figures - I wrote that entry and then they started being little terrors. *rolls eyes*

     
  • At 11:22 PM, Blogger k8

    awwww. that's very touching. NOW WHERE ARE YOU ON THE I.M.??????????????

     
  • At 12:13 AM, Blogger mrhaney

    that was a long post christi but it was a great one and i am glad i took the time to listen to it.i have a text to speach program on my computer and when i highlite your text i can have it read to me.
    kids are just so great aren't they. my wife and i had 4.

     
  • At 11:39 PM, Blogger Jillian

    I know exactly how you feel.. when Gavin wakes up in the middle of the night, and I'm so tired I just wanna shoot myself in the head, he looks up at me with that wonder and i see those dimples and i just don't wanna put him back in bed. He sleeps with me too, cuz I just can't bear to put him down sometimes. He's just as perfect as I hoped he was and I'm glad that you told me not to worry about loving him. You were right... it was instant, and now he is the most important thing in my life. Crazy how that works.