I'm pissed, and I can't stop.

So, Monday, what should have been didn't really happen. It all started innocently enough. TJ has asked me over and over and over again if he can have his karate teacher, Mr. Billy, over to play Guitar Hero with him. Finally, to appease TJ, I told Mr. Billy of the request, and he sounded genuinely interested and said he'd really like to come. When I told him, I assumed he would give me the whole, "Oh, yeah, that sounds nice, we should do that sometime," thing, and all would be forgotten. Since he didn't, I took that as a cue to run with it.

I planned a "game night" for this past Monday, which I later found out was Labor Day, a day that most people didn't work. Kewl. I invited everyone I ran into, in the hopes that if even some of them came, it would be a pretty good gathering and lots of fun and socialization. Everyone who was invited, with the exception of a couple, enthusiastically stated they would be there with bells on, and were looking forward to it. Even Trey had a couple of people from work that wanted to come. It was looking like it was going to be bigger than I had planned!

Now, first I want to say that I have a tendency to get a little too much into things. I put all of the emotions I have into everything I look forward to, and thus, set myself up for disappointment, time after time after time. I should have kept this in mind this time.

Monday came. Trey and I spent the day getting ready by cleaning the house and running to the store to pick up gathering essentials. We told everyone to either bring booze or a side dish, and we would supply the meat and chips and stuff, and some booze. I planned it to start early-ish, around five, b/c I knew people had to work the next day, and I wanted to have plenty of time to have fun and stuff.

First, I heard from a friend I haven't seen in a while. He was in town at a wedding I was at Sat., and supposedly was looking forward to coming and hanging out with old friends. Apparently, his grandmother had heart problems, and was at Trident getting checked out. No go for him.

Then, I heard from Trey's boss, whom I was really looking forward to having come. I don't know why, other than the fact that I really like the guy. He's fun, and funny. His wife had a migraine. (yeah, I've never had one of those before when I didn't want to do something!) Two down.

I couldn't get ahold of Ashley, who had been telling me that she wanted us to have another "game night", and who had promised she'd be there. Conveniently, her phone was not where she was able/wanted to answer it. She was out.

Another friend, Ramona, called later, to let me know that her grandmother-in-law was also in the hospital with heart problems...Trident even! Hmmmmm, I wonder if she ran into James? Surely they put all old people with heart problems at the same place? What got me was that neither one of them could say for sure what was wrong with the grandmas...the dr's. couldn't figure either one of them out for sure. Strange, eh?

Oh, and then there's Mr. Billy. Well, when I called to make sure he knew where he was going, "Something came up." That was the best he could do. I should have expected as much. Did I tell TJ he wouldn't be coming? No. I was hoping he would forget as he played with his other friends.

Speaking of friends, there were others that didn't show, either, but you get the point. However, Julia and clan DID come, and I couldn't be happier b/c of it. I love them, and I know I can always depend on them to come when they can and bring the fun. And we did have fun, and fantastically delicious lasagna that she made. So I don't know why I'm so upset about it all. I just am. Still. Angry.

I think it makes me feel kinda crappy, like we're no fun to hang out with. I don't think that's true, b/c people have come over before, and they seemed to have fun. I don't know, I'm just really let down. I wouldn't mind making new friends and having a group to hang out with sometimes. Lord knows that now that we have kids, it's too hard to go out to have fun, so I'm more than willing to open up my house to have others over to be social and let the kids play. I also wouldn't mind having friends that don't have kids, you know, for a change of conversation. I dunno, though, after this, I just feel shot down, and I have no desire whatsoever to try anymore.

You know, I really enjoy hanging out with Julia and her family, and the kids LOVE her kids, so maybe I'll just stick with that. Sure, I'll open the invitation to everyone else if we do stuff, but I'm never expecting anyone again.

(I say that now, but I also know that next time, I'm going to act the same way when someone doesn't show that said they would!)

So is this something that would bother you? Have you had this happen before? How did you feel? What did you do to get over feeling angry?