I'm scared. And excited. And terrified. And thrilled. And confused. And anything else you can think of, really.

I talked to the whoever guy today, and it's set. TJ will be "attending" the online school K12. He starts August 20th. That's in just 13 days! I'm not ready! They will be sending me all of his stuff in the mail very soon, and that will be that. I will have to meet with his coordinating teacher once a month or something, log in his attendance daily, and he will have to meet with the teacher once a week in a group setting where they do field trips and activities and whatnot. We will have to follow the school calendar, which begins on the 20th, and ends on June 5th. He will technically be a Berkeley County student. I can't believe this is actually going to happen. I'm totally freaked out. I mean, just a couple weeks ago I was going on about how I was considering unschooling, and now I've done a complete 180 and I will not only be unschooling TJ, but I will be following a set curriculum with accountability and everything.

In a way, I think it's great. Now I know I will be forced to work with TJ, and I won't be able to decide from day to day whether or not I'm feeling in the mood to do it. If I'm not doing a good job, or I need help, I will have someone to ask questions to, and who will let me know I need to get on the ball. I won't be able to make excuses. It'll be like being a teacher like I wanted to be, but w/o having to get up at the crack of dawn and put up w/other employees and the drama. I will have everything already picked out for me as far as curriculum, and all I'll have to do is work out the time and teach it. Plus, TJ will get to see a set group of kids each week at a set time, so it will be like school friends for him, and I know they'll be his age and on his level, I think.

In a way, I'm going to hate it. Doing this takes away a lot of the freedom I so love about the idea of homeschooling. What if I realize shortly in that some of the set curriculum is just not working for TJ? Can I then change it, or adapt it to better fit him, or do I have to stick to it and do it their way? As far as daily attendance, what if we decide to go out of town? Can I just bring the stuff w/us and check in from any computer? Can he just take the days off? If he's sick, do I have to send in a note? What if the teacher is domineering, and wants everything done by the book and completely thoroughly? I'm not really that kind of person. I hated doing the paperwork when I was a teacher, b/c I never wanted to do it their way. What if TJ just won't do it the way it's supposed to be done? If it's not working, can I withdraw him before the school year's over and just start homeschooling him some different way that works better? I assume I'll be hearing from the teacher soon to figure all of this out. The guy who called me today may have said so already, but I was busy making dinner and trying to avoid my kids who had the sudden "interest in Mommy b/c she's on the phone" kick. This is all so freaky to me.

Anyway, it's late, and I'm POOPED! I'll talk to you later. Have a great day!