Today, just out of the blue, I decided I want to have the baby today. I mean, I want to have the baby everyday, but I got it in my head that if I didn't have him today, it would never happen. I honestly thought for a few minutes that if he didn't come out, he really would never, ever be born. I'm pretty darn sure that's not possible. I had to convince myself that he will be born, even if it's later than I want him to be, but that he will, in fact, come out of me whether I like it or not. It does feel like that somedays, though. Like this baby is just never going to come. I mean, if he cared, he'd come when I asked him to, but nooooooooo.....

He obviously knows I'm talking about him, b/c now little Cole is going all to town in my belly, and kinda thumping on my ovaries or something. Kinda hurts.

Speaking of, I have to go to the dr. tomorrow, where I'm sure they'll yell at me for my slackness in managing this stupid diabetes. Blah, blah, blah...It sucks, too, b/c I have to take the kids. Trey is usually off on Mondays, but his boss screwed up the schedule, and now he has to work. I am really, really dreading this visit. Of course, I could have tried to find someone to watch them, but it didn't even occur to me until about 11 tonight that I have the appt. tomorrow morning. What makes me even madder about it is that they won't tell me anything I want to hear. I want to hear that I'm 100% effaced and 5 cm dialated, but nooooooo....I'm sure even the mention of that will just bring a chuckle. I don't even want to go to the dr. I have tomorrow. I want Dr. Campbell, but they keep giving me Dr. Cook. I don't care for her. She's nice enough, but dammit, she's skinny as a rail! I don't like skinny people seeing me naked!

Well, I guess that's enough for now. I'll go rant some more in my sleep now. Oh, and on the good side, I have a babysitter for my cheerin' tomorrow night! I'm looking forward to someone coming and playing with them (she's a hyper high school student that I work w/at Pizza Hut), and hopefully finding someone who may be a good backup in case my mom can't watch them sometime (like when she goes on her vacation the week I'm due with the baby!). I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!