I'll ask you a question! I need your advice...
Okay, so here's the deal (If you know the person I am speaking of, please do not say anything to her. I would really appreciate that. But, you can feel free to tell me what you think I should do about it.):
Okay, so I am set to have a baby soon, in case you were unaware (Kurt). I am trying desperately to get induced, b/c I know if I don't, she'll be late. I can just feel it. I can't wait that long.
Anyway, so I want to be induced. This would be great, b/c I would know when I was going to have the baby, hopefully, and I could tell people when to come if they so desire. However, this could also work against me. See, I was originally planning to see if Trey's parents would watch TJ while I had the baby, and they could stay at our house w/him, then just come after she was born. Little did I think at the time that this just wouldn't happen that way. I've since come to my senses, and it doesn't hurt that I was told by Trey's mom that she fully intends to be in the room w/me while Taryn is being born.
Here's where I have a problem. When TJ was born, I had planned for Trey and my mom to be in the room, no one else. My mom was to be on one side of me, Trey on the other. However, it didn't happen that way. Instead, Trey was on one side of me, and my mom and his were at the end of the bed watching everything. That is not cool to me. I'm still pretty much mortified that they watched that. I was even mad when I found out a year or so later that Trey had seen more than I thought he had! I'm not down with that. Sooo, when I started thinking about this time, I decided that I would like just Trey in there with me. It's not that simple, though. I think my mom will be okay with it, I hope. (if you're reading this, are you okay with it?) Trey's mom, however, doesn't really listen when you tell her stuff like that. She pretty much does what she wants. When I had to start pushing TJ out, I told Trey (in a mumbly way) that he needed to get her to go. He didn't move. I told him yesterday that I want him to make sure it's just him in there, and he said that if it's left up to him, she will be there, b/c he's not doing a thing. To me that's a little messed up! I mean, the man should not be afraid to talk to his mom!
I know it seems simple enough to just tell her that I would like to have just Trey in the room with me. However, she said in a very firm, convicted-type way that she has already made plans to be in the room when Taryn's born, just like she was with TJ. I don't want to hurt her feelings, and make her feel not welcome. I thought about lying and telling her they won't let anyone else in the room, the hospital that is, but then I figure she'd ask or something, and I'd look really bad. In my original plan, she would be watching TJ for me, but then it dawned on me that she'd just send her husband to sit with him and get them later. I kinda wish I would just go into labor unexpectedly, and then no one would get there in time, hopefully, except for Trey. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I really don't want the whole world, not even my little world, seeing me all naked and shoving a baby out of me again. I wasn't really down with it before, and I still cringe at times at the thought that they were all there to see everything. It seems kinda dumb...I mean, it's a fact of life. Trey's mom already told me she could have cared less about anything but the baby coming out, but still....I dunno....What do you think? I need your help.
Okay, talk to you later. Have a great day!
My ranting and raving, and hopefully your reading!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I know how I'll get you to read...
posted by Christi at 12:22 AM
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14 Comments:
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At 2:14 AM,
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At 9:13 AM,
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Sitting here with a fussy baby on my left and a toddler who's watching the end of Barney, so don't know much I'll be able to type before I have to go. But just wanted to ditto what others are saying. You are the one doing the hard work in there and need to be focused on that. They will all get to see the baby soon enough. I have varied luck getting my DH to stand up to his mom -- sometimes yes, sometimes no. I know it would be ideal for him to stress your wishes to his mom, but you need to talk to her too. Just say that you know that they were there last time, but that you were not that comfortable with having other people there even if they were OK with being there, and that this time you'd prefer that it just be Trey. Mentioning this to the nurse too is a good idea. If I were you, I'd go ahead and get this all squared away so that your mind is at ease and you can get ready to welcome Taryn into this world without being worried.
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yes same situation. wes' mom was INSISTANT on coming in. NOT!!!! i didnt even want my mom in there. yikes!! no way!!! so we asked the nurses to not let anyone in, and linda was pissed but oh well. it wasnt my fault-it was the nurses.
i want you to stick to your guns. it is already enough stress having a baby, but this added onto it, you DO NOT NEED. take it from a girl who has been in the same situation. -
At 11:37 AM,
Kate Giovinco PhotographyOk everyone has expressed what I was going to say, I just want to add this, I think it is ultimatly up to you to tell your mom and mother in law you are not comfortable. Dont leave it up to Trey because one he wont be able to and two it wont be handled the way you want it to (which could cause hard feelings). You could on top of telling them no make sure you tell the Nurses that way it is reinforced and no one gets in!
I plan on allowing my husband and my mother in there, no way will my mother in law be in there. But she would not want to be that is another whole can of worms. It is about your support system not your mother in law or anyone else.
Good luck and stick to what you want. It is the most important thing that you are comfortable and you make the best decision for you and your baby. -
Well I feel the same way you do. I would only want my husband and MOTHER with me. No way in Hell would I want my mother-in-law in there. I think that is very rude of her to be telling you that she WILL be there.
I would sit her down and say listen. I love you but I want this to be just me and trey and no one else. If that don't fly then you just go to your moms leave TJ with her when it is time to go and go by yourselves and don't tell anyone else until the time comes when she is out.
This is your body and you feel the way you do so you should make the plans not her. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN GIRL. -
At 5:56 PM,
Anvilcloud
You need to tell her firmly and don't wimp out. Also, you can tell the nurses who is allowed in and they will enforce it for you. I had a nurse tell me that when Andrew was born. My original plan was to only have Richard there, but I changed my mind during, and I wanted my mommy. Richard's mom wanted to be there, but I'm private like you and didn't want her to see. Be firm. You can do it! Don't give a big long explanation because then they will try to convince you why you're wrong. Say this is the way it's gonna be and there is no argument.
I'm sure you know I always read your blog, just don't comment 100% of the time.