I had my first margarita today...as a mother of two. It was gooooooood! Of course, an hour later, I was dead tired and ready for bed. Yeah, right! Could you imagine being a mom of a 2 year old and a newborn and going to bed EARLY!? Yeah, exactly...
TJ is being a full-on toddler. I know it's got a lot to do with having a new baby sister. Not to mention the fact that he had his mommy stay in a hospital for two nights, and was not happy about that. Then after just a couple of days back home, he was thrust here to Charleston. Nothing is as it's supposed to be for him, and quite honestly, I don't blame him. I, personally, am in a bad mood lately. I'm not physically myself, and all this stuff's being thrown at me, and yet I have to act happy and like it's nothing. Anyway, TJ doesn't like to be told what to do anymore (ummm, like he did before!), and his new phrase is, "Don't talk to me!" It really grates on my nerves when he says that. I'm really not sure what to do about it. My mom thinks he needs to be spanked, but that is NOT happening. I'd put him in time-out, but I can't really think of how to put it to him that he's being punished for being a smart mouth and make him understand that. It's not just that, either. I totally knew he would act out when the new baby came, so I'm not surprised. I just guess I'm not doing the best job at making him stop. Anybody have any tips?
Oh, and if you've been keeping up with Gage, from Gina's page, please go here: www.carepages.com You may have to register, but it only takes a second. His mom has put updates on his progress on there, and it's so great to see he's doing so well!
Alrighty then, I hope you have a super fantastic day, and I'll see you later!
My ranting and raving, and hopefully your reading!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Yahoo!!!
posted by Christi at 11:19 PM
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8 Comments:
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At 1:14 PM,
Yeesh we're all getting so old aren't we? I agree with what k8 said. Just explain to him that the behavior is unacceptable and that he has to get a time out. Enid is in a terrible stage right now at 3 she says "WHATEVER!" and sometimes it's cute and othertimes it's infuriating. Then there's the hitting, that's a big no-no. I applaud you for not spanking TJ. I think that spanking as a punishment does have it's place but it's got to be used VERY sparingly or it serves to purpose.
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I think you need to beat his butt. Just kidding. I know I told you before that I spank, but I wouldn't do it for something like that. I can't remember the last time I spanked one of my kids. It's probably been a year. You asked, so I'm going to be Miss Know-it all. I think the best thing you can do is get into a regular routine, and make your expectations clear. Never assume he knows he's doing wrong. I would say, "Don't talk to me is not a nice thing to say. TJ, you need to respect me and listen to me because I am your mommy. Now I am going to tell you something, and you are going to listen." Then say whatever it was. If he tries to scream or run away, stay right with him, holding him on your lap if you need to. This is just my opinion, but I wouldn't be doling out punishments like time out or whatever you use at this point because I think this is a confusing time for him, and he needs to know that 1) you are there for him, on his side 2)there are boundaries and you are going to make sure he stays in them because you care and you love him. There will probably be a power struggle, and you have to win. This is the hard part of being a mom. Sometimes I can look back at my mom being a nutcase maniac when I was a kid, and understanding where she was coming from, lol. I think TJ is a good kid. When Andrew was 2 he had a split personality. He was half sweet, adorable, baby boy, and half demon child. It was like he had to learn that he was not in charge, and he couldn't get anything he wanted. It took a long time for the lesson to stick, but I will say that he is generally happy and respectful to me now. I like Adele Faber's "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk". She gives a lot of practical advice in a way that made sense to me. Some of the book is in comic strip and lists of bulletted points, so it's easy to read.
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OH man this sounds just like Mackenzie when I had Ethan. Man, She was so bad and acted out all the time. She was not acting herself. SHe was so used to getting her way all the time and she was the baby and got what she wanted from dad.
We had a hell of a month with her after having Ethan. It was hard but with a lot of time out. SHe got the picture. Hang in there cause it does get better. He just has to get use to the fact that it is no longer just him anymore. -
Good for you! I love me some margaritas. I think that was my first post-childbirth drink, too. :lol
Not too much advice about the toddler 'tude that hasn't already been said. I think explaining to him that it is unacceptable is good, but it'll probably take a while to sink in. It's probably going to be a bit of an adjustment period with everything for a while. But I'm sure you already knew that. ;)
i put the girls in time out for stuff like that if they wont stop and tell them it's not nice to say things like that. they get it, believe me.