Sunday, May 15, 2005
She did it!
Well, as of now, my sister officially has her Bachelor Degree. I think it's in Psychology...I should really know that! She graduated today, sorta...she was supposed to walk, but she opted not to b/c of the hassle. We were gonna hang out with her all day, but slackers that we are, we didn't get out of bed in time to catch up with her. So, we just went to dinner with her at California Dreaming and met up with her family. It was nice. I recognized a couple of them, but I really don't know why. We missed Gina and kids, but I'm just saying this to give her a hard time, so....Anyway, congratulations, Susan! If you'd like to congratulate her, feel free to stop by her blog, http://susanslife.blogspot.com/, and say hi. I'm sure she'd love that!

So, anyway...do you ever feel like sometimes you have to act like someone you're not? I mean, not completely, but, like, stay on your p's and q's? For the most part, I'm always me, which is far from normal or average (or so I'd like to think). However, when I'm around certain people, actually most people, I feel like I need to put forth a persona that is, well, better than my actual personality. For instance, I am, at times, a little on the vulgar side, and well, I'm a little too blunt and uncontrolled with my thoughts most of the time. Kinda like a toddler, except I know all the bad stuff, too! So, when I'm around others, I try my best to be good and watch what I say and do. Now that I'm doing my best to get involved in church and trying to make new friends, I feel like I REALLY have to do this now. Not that I am usually a foul-mouthed person who talks about nasty stuff all the time or anything, but you know, every once in a while something (perhaps a dirty word or gross joke) slips in the wrong situation. It's kinda stressful, b/c there are some people who know me, whom I think are nervous when I'm around others and worry that I might slip up. I'm also not quite as "gentle" as other people when I speak, so it doesn't help my delivery of what I say. When I was teaching it was the hardest. I was constantly worried about saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. I didn't have any problem around the students, for the most part, but other teachers were all different, and some were more touchy than others. I love to just jump in and take part in all the jokes and the like. I'm a pretty sarcastic person, too, and a lot of times people don't catch my sarcasm and take me to be a total bitch. I really am a really nice person! So, I work hard to convey this person to the world who is clean, and nice, and "fit" to be taken out in public and seen with. Overall I am. However, deep down, I really want to get some more tattoos. I want some piercings, on my face. I don't choose black clothes b/c they're slimming, I choose them b/c I like the color. I listen to music with bad lyrics and that's definitely not kosher for most ears. My biggest wish in life is to some day get a Harley (or perhaps a very cool chromy Honda), full leathers, and a kick-ass helmet, and just cruise the world over for the rest of my life. I teach my child to sing songs like, "Daddy's got a big ol' butt, oh yeah!" and to say things like, "SCOTT SUCKS! He's STUPID!" We even use the word butt to mean butt, instead of boonky or bottom. However, I truly believe in God, and plan to raise my kids in a totally loving family who lets God lead us to greatness. I am, mostly, happily married to a truly wonderful man who really loves me. We do our best to show our love to each other, and our child, everyday. I keep the house clean, and my child as well. I have great manners, and will in no way tolerate my child not showing good manners to others. I am educated, and I have strong beliefs on a lot of issues that mean a lot to me and the rest of the world. I don't smoke, and I only drink on a rare occasion, if even then. I think I'm a pretty cool person overall. I just feel bad that sometimes stuff about me isn't exactly the norm. Sometimes it's a struggle. Just wondering, do any of you ever feel this way? Are you sometimes acting like a person you think people want you to be?

I went to Julia's house last night, and I had a wonderful time. Julia has been my friend, technically, since we were in third grade. Aside from family, I have known her longer than any other person ever in my life. We hooked back up in middle school, and in high school, sealed the deal as best friends in the world when I moved in three houses down the street from her. We've been kind of on and off here and there, what with life and moving, and everything else, but overall we've kept in touch through the years. I'm thinking of her right now b/c what I love the absolute most about Julia is that, being that she's known me the longest of anyone, she has totally seen the real me, LOTS of times. So, last night was cool b/c I was able to be the real me, and even talk about all the stupid things we've done together! I think that's what I love about Trey, too. He saw the real me wayyyyyy too early in our relationship to stick around, and still he did! He even still loves me, weird and sometimes gross chick and all! I love Julia and Trey! They are the definite best friends in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!! Oh, and we played Cranium last night...You HAVE to get this game and play it! It was so much fun!

Well, I guess I'll catch up with you later. I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!
 
posted by Christi at 9:50 PM | Permalink |


7 Comments:


  • At 10:24 PM, Blogger gina

    i feel that way a lot around my friends. they dont know the real me or the old me i should say and i feel guilty almost -like i am not fessing up to the old me, but its not easy to throw yeah i used to do___________ well, here i go again, i thought , shoot what if my MOM reads this? she doesnt even know...lol
    i like you just the way you are- youre fun and sarcastic, funny, smart as heck, and the best mommy tj could ever dream of.

     
  • At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Echo

    I say be yourself! :D You sound like me - minus the biker stuff! I have such a foul mouth it's crazy. I just don't blog that way because I hate reading the cuss words, plus my Grandma reads it (so yes, I am not being true to myself). My husband says I'm a hypocrite because I pray and I am rediscovering my faith, yet 'G-D' (the actual word) is one that comes out of my mouth most often during the day. lol

    I saw your tattoos and was surprised! I would have never guessed you had those. We could have compared! LOL I only have one - I'm a big baby. Here's mine: http://www.echoleigh.com/images/tattoo.jpg

    I doubt I will make it to the park tomorrow. *sniff* I have a team project due.

     
  • At 7:11 AM, Blogger Julia

    I feel so good now!!! Thank you for saying those nice things. I had fun the other night. It was worth missing out on some sleep.

    I think everyone puts on a mask sometimes, so you are not alone in that. I see myself as having many sides to my personality. If I choose not to reveal everything to everybody, I don't see that as being dishonest. It's just keeping some things to myself.

     
  • At 8:48 AM, Blogger Karla

    Nice Tattoos! I feel like such a wussy for wanting just a little pink elephant on my back.

    I think Julia hit the nail on the head when she said that everyone puts on a mask sometimes. Mark once said he told someone at work that his personality at work is just a well crafted illusion. I thought that was so smart because it’s so true! Depending on the situation or the audience, shifting those personality gears is sometimes required.

    I don’t think that means you aren’t being true to yourself, or you’re phony or a hypocrite, I think it shows your understanding of human nature by adjusting your behavior to meet the needs of the people around you. It shows that you are a dynamic individual who knows how to fit into various situations. Not to say you have to totally alter your entire demeanor to appease others, but being able to adapt your character to different circumstances, I believe, is a very important quality that really helps you succeed and move ahead in life (whether on a personal or professional level).

     
  • At 10:21 AM, Blogger k8

    ohmygosh you're a freeeeeaaaak! ha. um i have some tattoos too and i'm getting one made bigger and better this summer baby. and i'm a christian, and sometimes i say and/or think bad bad words. and i like harleys. and bad boys. btw how did you end up w a clean looking preppy man anyway. i like your sarcasm cuz you remind me of me. i have missed your little im self all weekend!!!

     
  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger Christi

    Wow! Well when you all put it that way, I feel so much better! Moms are looking so much cooler to me all of a sudden! I was seriously thinking that God had made a BIG mistake when he chose me to be a mom! Didn't think I fit that cookie cutter! Now it's looking kinda like I get to be a part of the baking!

     
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